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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child in Nando's

240 replies

Neverhappyalwayshopeful · 08/04/2023 01:46

Hubby thinks I'm being unreasonable.

We are parents to an 8 month old and almost 12 year old. This evening we went out for a quick dinner at Nando's. The eldest was at a play date so was just the 3 of us on a table for 4. The table next to us was a couple and a young child aged between 2 and 3. They had plenty of seating and a high chair available for the girl to use. They chose to all sit on the bench side of the table presumably to sit together. I was also sat on the bench side of our table with an empty seat next to me. I put my bag there. Hubby was sat opposite and our baby was in the pushchair in the space next to him as he can't sit in one of those wooden high chairs just yet.

The little girl from the table next to us was constantly walking along the bench, coming to our table, scraping a fork along the back wall and asking her parents for our food. My husband asked her parents and then offered her a snack from our sons snack box at one point to try and appease her. She didn't want that, she wanted our food. It made our meal really awkward. I didn't say anything rude but tried to politely diffuse the situation by engaging with her, making conversation back and also telling her that her dinner was at her table and her chips were waiting for her etc etc. A few minutes later, she was back again and this time was standing on my handbag which i had placed on the empty seat next to me (on our table). As I turned and saw this, the dad had the cheek to tell me that 'I may want to move my bag' as she is standing on it! Of course I did move it but to somehow phrase it as though I should move my belongings from a seat that belongs to our table when in fact his child was trampling on my handbag felt cheeky! It was a very expensive handbag too but even if it wasn't, I would have been just as annoyed. There wasn't even an apology!

Generally, I like to think that I'm not one of those parents who judges others or expects children to behave perfectly but this situation really annoyed me. I expected the parents to take some ownership of their child's behaviour and try to manage it. DH thinks it's just a case of a child behaving like a child and that the parents didn't do anything wrong. I couldn't imagine allowing my child to interrupt another family the way we were continually interrupted today. If the parents were trying and the girl was just being inquisitive, I genuinely wouldn't have minded. It's the lack of trying and no acknowledgment for the fact that we were being inconvenienced that is irritating. Even a simple, I'm so sorry she's going through a phase of blah blah blah.

AIBU for feeling/thinking as I am?

OP posts:
ChocChipHandbag · 09/04/2023 21:43

@ReadersD1gest I agree. I literally said that in my post, that the basic expectation is not to have any handbag trampled on.

I am just aghast at the idea of carrying round an accessory worth FIVE THOUSAND ENGLISH POUNDS when you are going out for fried chicken.

ReadersD1gest · 09/04/2023 21:53

ChocChipHandbag · 09/04/2023 21:43

@ReadersD1gest I agree. I literally said that in my post, that the basic expectation is not to have any handbag trampled on.

I am just aghast at the idea of carrying round an accessory worth FIVE THOUSAND ENGLISH POUNDS when you are going out for fried chicken.

Maybe at 5 grand a pop she can only afford one... 😄

CelestiaNoctis · 09/04/2023 22:01

Nah they were rude. Kids are kids but it sounds like they weren't even attempting to keep her seated or away from strangers. They don't know you and were lucky you were nice. Most people wouldn't be and sad to say but some people are downright weird and evil so I'm shocked they allowed you to give her food from your bag.

Original poster
Neverhappyalwayshopeful · 09/04/2023 22:08

ChocChipHandbag · 09/04/2023 21:24

What in the name of all that is holy possessed you to take a £5,000 handbag [faints] to Nando's?

I mean, I absolutely agree with you that the family were out of order and I'd have been annoyed if the kid had trampled on my pleather satchel from River Island but, but.....just why?

I get your point but it wasn't as though I'd dressed up specifically to go to Nando's. We were out shopping for the afternoon and it got late so we ended up at Nando's. My handbag wasn't anything particularly in your face and is actually the one I use most often for day to day errands. It just happens to be expensive. I would have been equally as annoyed if it was a much cheaper handbag as it was the parents allowing the disrespect to another's belongings that was bothering me not specifically the fact that my £5k bag had been trampled on.

OP posts:
Mrsgreen100 · 09/04/2023 22:18

Avoid Nando’s spend your money in a small independent place !

ifyougochasingrabbits · 09/04/2023 22:24

Lazy parents and annoying kid

You are 100 percent not being U . How can anyone think this is okay? in restaurants my kids do not even get up from the table unless they need the loo. they've known from a very early age that we do not walk around in them we sit nicely. and when they were too little to reliably sit they'd be in their pram or in a high chair now where else

Also: ...what bag was it ? 😳😳 I am into designer bags and if some random kid stood on any of mine the "parents" would know about it

Isittimeformynapyet · 09/04/2023 22:37

itsthefinalcountdown1 · 08/04/2023 02:24

YABU
You should have asked the restaurant to move you, don't be a martyr. You've paid for a meal out, I wouldn't spend it babysitting someone else's child and then dwelling on it afterwards.

She's questioning (different from "dwelling on") it because her husband's take on the situation is opposed to her own. And it wasn't the kid's behaviour that annoyed her but the lack of consideration from the parents.

Original poster
Neverhappyalwayshopeful · 09/04/2023 22:42

Mrsgreen100 · 09/04/2023 22:18

Avoid Nando’s spend your money in a small independent place !

I agree and do shop locally with independents often! Our eldest wasn't with us and we wanted something to eat... Nando's reminded us of our younger selves and dating as teenagers so we thought we would go for old times sake. ☺️

OP posts:
ChocChipHandbag · 09/04/2023 22:49

"Oh I took my 5 grand bag to Nando's because it's the one I use for errands and stuff"

You are bloody hilarious. Some people's CAR they use for "errands" didn't cost them 5 grand.

Original poster
Neverhappyalwayshopeful · 09/04/2023 22:50

ifyougochasingrabbits · 09/04/2023 22:24

Lazy parents and annoying kid

You are 100 percent not being U . How can anyone think this is okay? in restaurants my kids do not even get up from the table unless they need the loo. they've known from a very early age that we do not walk around in them we sit nicely. and when they were too little to reliably sit they'd be in their pram or in a high chair now where else

Also: ...what bag was it ? 😳😳 I am into designer bags and if some random kid stood on any of mine the "parents" would know about it

Thank you! You've hit the nail on the head- the thing that made me question my thoughts and feelings was the contrast between my views and those of my husband.

It was a Hermes Kelly to go in chèvre leather. It's a pretty understated bag and holds much more than you'd expect so perfect for errands!

OP posts:
mamabear715 · 09/04/2023 22:50

What's OP's handbag got to do with it? Some sour grapes here..

Original poster
Neverhappyalwayshopeful · 09/04/2023 22:51

Sorry @Isittimeformynapyet I forgot to tag you in my response above!

OP posts:
Redebs · 09/04/2023 22:55

WitheredandOld · 08/04/2023 03:18

You should have been much more direct. In a calm bit loud voice (loud enough for the parents to hear) - “No, stop asking for our food and go and eat your own.”

What?!

ChocChipHandbag · 09/04/2023 23:01

mamabear715 · 09/04/2023 22:50

What's OP's handbag got to do with it? Some sour grapes here..

Nope, I can defo assure you I'm not jealous of OP's handbag. I have way more than 5 grabs to spare in the bank, I just can't get my head round spending it on a Bag for Life 😂. How the other half lives eh?

mamabear715 · 09/04/2023 23:03

What people spend their money on is entirely up to them.

blebbleb · 09/04/2023 23:06

The value of the bag is irrelevant. The parents need to keep their feral child in check.

ChocChipHandbag · 09/04/2023 23:06

mamabear715 · 09/04/2023 23:03

What people spend their money on is entirely up to them.

I know. But that doesn't mean I can't say that it BLOWS MY MIND!

ChocChipHandbag · 09/04/2023 23:08

blebbleb · 09/04/2023 23:06

The value of the bag is irrelevant. The parents need to keep their feral child in check.

Yep, I already said exactly that, cheers.

ThinWomansBrain · 09/04/2023 23:12

Kicked husbands shins under the table for encouraging her.
As PP has suggested, a very direct and loud "your food is on that table with your parents"
Failing that, a few chips with a liberal dose of salt and peri peri sauce.

WitheredandOld · 09/04/2023 23:19

Redebs · 09/04/2023 22:55

What?!

Show quote history

What! Right back at you, weirdo.

wentworthinmate · 10/04/2023 00:29

No other way to put it, the other parents were CF and not parenting.

oosha · 10/04/2023 02:29

ChocChipHandbag · 09/04/2023 22:49

"Oh I took my 5 grand bag to Nando's because it's the one I use for errands and stuff"

You are bloody hilarious. Some people's CAR they use for "errands" didn't cost them 5 grand.

@ChocChipHandbag who cares how much the handbag is and what’s it got to do with any of us. No one should be shamed for having more money, it’s not her problem that people are driving around in cars less than £5k is it. Such a random comment.

Wetwag35 · 10/04/2023 06:01

Did you say you took a 5K bag for an outing to Nando’s? Good effort!

Hmm1234 · 10/04/2023 07:48

Lots of threads like this what is it the bank holiday and people can’t tolerate others kids!?
you can’t force a toddler to
sit still and behave it must of been embarrassing for the parents aswell to see your lovely children with good table manners. What would you prefer them to do leave?

WhatNoRaisins · 10/04/2023 07:51

Definitely prefer them to leave.