Child in Nando's

[Neverhappyalwayshopeful]

Hubby thinks I'm being unreasonable.

We are parents to an 8 month old and almost 12 year old. This evening we went out for a quick dinner at Nando's. The eldest was at a play date so was just the 3 of us on a table for 4. The table next to us was a couple and a young child aged between 2 and 3. They had plenty of seating and a high chair available for the girl to use. They chose to all sit on the bench side of the table presumably to sit together. I was also sat on the bench side of our table with an empty seat next to me. I put my bag there. Hubby was sat opposite and our baby was in the pushchair in the space next to him as he can't sit in one of those wooden high chairs just yet.

The little girl from the table next to us was constantly walking along the bench, coming to our table, scraping a fork along the back wall and asking her parents for our food. My husband asked her parents and then offered her a snack from our sons snack box at one point to try and appease her. She didn't want that, she wanted our food. It made our meal really awkward. I didn't say anything rude but tried to politely diffuse the situation by engaging with her, making conversation back and also telling her that her dinner was at her table and her chips were waiting for her etc etc. A few minutes later, she was back again and this time was standing on my handbag which i had placed on the empty seat next to me (on our table). As I turned and saw this, the dad had the cheek to tell me that 'I may want to move my bag' as she is standing on it! Of course I did move it but to somehow phrase it as though I should move my belongings from a seat that belongs to our table when in fact his child was trampling on my handbag felt cheeky! It was a very expensive handbag too but even if it wasn't, I would have been just as annoyed. There wasn't even an apology!

Generally, I like to think that I'm not one of those parents who judges others or expects children to behave perfectly but this situation really annoyed me. I expected the parents to take some ownership of their child's behaviour and try to manage it. DH thinks it's just a case of a child behaving like a child and that the parents didn't do anything wrong. I couldn't imagine allowing my child to interrupt another family the way we were continually interrupted today. If the parents were trying and the girl was just being inquisitive, I genuinely wouldn't have minded. It's the lack of trying and no acknowledgment for the fact that we were being inconvenienced that is irritating. Even a simple, I'm so sorry she's going through a phase of blah blah blah.

AIBU for feeling/thinking as I am?

@Neverhappyalwayshopeful

You're more than welcome, Honestly it blows my mind that anyone would think it was okay to let their toddler run about in Nando's (or any food place) it's dangerous to them and others as well as annoying .

Also, Ignore the twats sniping at you for a) having a 5k bag and b) having the temerity to take your bag out with you ...it's jealousy. Your Hermès sounds amazing 😍😍 I recently got myself a beautiful bag too (ysl) and i take it everywhere even McDonald's last night 😂

This.

I’d have said “you need to go and sit down at your table because we are trying to eat our meals!’
or “These are for sitting on dear, not walking all over!”
maybe then the parents would’ve realised that you minded their kid being in your space. I’d 100% got cross at her standing on my bag… I carry all sorts of important things in my bag and wouldn’t allow some child to stand on it!
TBH I’d probably have got up and moved tables. My daughter never misbehaved in restaurants. I find it so rude to allow your child to stand/walk on chairs, and very rude to allow child to disturb other tables.

If the parents were embarrassed at their child's behaviour they'd have attempted to parent her.
Of course op would have preferred they leave if they couldn't be arsed to do that.
Anyone would.

Can you stop sniping at op about her bag @ChocChipHandbag , what's the matter with you? It's not her issue if it cost more than your car.

😂 I was thinking the same… I have a cousin who said to her kids, “If you keep doing [insert annoying thing in a restaurant/soft play/whatever], we are going.” But actually follows up. She doesn’t need to say it now they’re a little bit older as they know it will definitely happen.

You like to wear your envy on your sleeve don’t you? You can dress it up as mockery and disdain as much as you like, but it’s not fooling anyone. 😆

You have more restraint than me. I would have asked them to remove their child from our table because we are trying to eat.

I started taking my children to restaurants from a young age as with them being SN I knew it would take longer to teach them what I expect from them, we only go to kid friendly restaurants though
I've always expected them to sit at the table nicely with colouring or quiet toy during the wait and if they because uncontrollable or noisy then we pay and leave
I've had little kids come attach themselves to my table and take our food and I've seen those who are allowed to run free round the restaurant and it's not acceptable
The little girls parents should have put in more effort to keep her at their table and certainly not climbing on your handbag like you were in the wrong for having it next to you, that would have really ticked me off too

I’m with you OP . Anyone with children knows it’s hard to control this younger behaviour but it’s very strange that there was no acknowledgment from her parents that you were being inconvenienced. Or that you were being nice about it. I don’t know some people seem to think they have to be thanked for blessing the world with their gift of their children. Ignorant behaviour sadly

Post isn’t critical of the parenting and they sound as though they were friendly to child and polite to parents. Regardless of the difficulty with a child that young it’s rude of child’s parents not to acknowledge the disturbance and apologise. There are situations which are no one’s fault but the apology is polite and friendly. They sound like oiks especially the father how dare he apparently blame OP for his child standing on her bag. Some guys think they’ve done the world a favour by their small part in producing a child!

Choc chip try and stay on point which is not about the type of handbag the OP has. For all you know they’ve treated themselves to a handbag rather than a car (which is not an absolute essential - some would argue it’s a luxury given what is happening globally)

I have noticed that parents with just their first child can be SO indulgent.
They don't seem to have thought it through that behaviour which could be deemed "cute" in a toddler is really unreasonable once the child is 3 or over.
So difficult to say anything without seeming like a dinosuar!

Yes. I hate all this laissez-faire ‘kids will be kids’ nonsense. Parents must either endure that their children are not nuisances in public or remove them from the situation. I hope I’d have said, ‘Would you mind asking her not to stand on my bag, please?’ instead of moving it, but perhaps I’d have done the same as you in the moment, OP, not wishing to cause offence. Anyway, YANBU.

The parents if you can call them that are idiots. Just because they were out to eat doesn't mean they can let their child wander, especially in Nandos which is usually busy, servers are taking hot food to tables and she could have gotten in the way. This is where taking stiff to distract your child cones in handy, so some colouring or even screens.

My youngest is coming up to 2 and I would never allow her to stand on someone else's belongings or ask for their food. I'd have picked her up myself and removed her.That's because I would have been annoyed if someone else's child was doing that to us. I honestly feel people have forgotten how to behave when in public

You were kind but I would have told her that we don't stand on people's bags and asked her parents to get her. Sometimes ypu do need to be assertive, you had your hands full with your own children and shouldn't have had theirs interrupting you.

*taking stuff even