Lady on holiday

[StarryBarry]

DS5 is only child and very keen to make friends wherever we go. He usually chats to anyone and makes friend with other kids at camps/clubs etc. We are on holiday and while watching entertainment in our resort he was running around with another child who seemed the same age. We were sat a few tables down from the other child and their family.

We sat watching him tonight chattering away to the child and the child’s mum for around 10 minutes inbetween them dancing and running around. They seemed happy enough and we didn’t see any silly behaviour.
He then returned to us and said his friend didn’t want to play

when we got home he said the friends mum said ‘they don’t want to be your friend, go away’

DH thinks they AIBU as who says this to a child. I wondered if the other kid got tired and the mum told DS she didn’t want to play anymore and maybe didn’t use those exact words

who is BU?

Yes, but who is this SAHM mum you're sticking the boot into?

She's the opposite of QuertyGirl's crass stereotype.

Ah. Just the standard issue SAHM bash then.

No, but i can see it is too subtle for you.

Yes, subtle. Right.🙄

This.

I'm a sahm and have an only child who loves to chat and make friends. She's also got ADHD.
I do not leave her to go bother others. So I resent the comment aimed at us like we are the problem .
I always go over if my child is with anyone because as her mum I want to make sure she's ok and not annoying anyone. I wouldn't have her running round during the evening because that's for us wind down time. But it depends if it was a kids disco or something obviously she would go join in.
I don't mind kids playing but during the evening most families want to just chill.
I wouldn't be rude but I think everyone should be understanding some people are more social than others.
I think that op you need to try understand that during the day round the pool is different to on an evening as well.

How on earth is it SAHM bashing? It was quite clearly a reply to the working mum “bashing” in the previous post

So one type of parent can be bashed but the other can’t?

How rude, mine is an only child too so we always encourage him to find someone to play football with or whatever. It's definitely weird to not allow your kids to play with others or talk with them and exceptionally rude and cruel to tell him off like that. I get it that some parents don't want your kid hanging around them but all these places have kids clubs to get all the kids playing together and it's difficult for a 5yr old to know when it's OK and when it's time to stop because they want to do family stuff now.
I don't think it matters what was actually said because a 5yr old understands the words, meaning and body language perfectly well so I'd have no doubt that was what she meant whatever she said to him.

I think holidays are tough on only Children my daughter stares qt the groups of siblings playing and looks so lonely. There was a big group of girls on our holiday who were round the pool all day she tried to join in but is too like her dad and was to scared to speak. I would be happy for her to join in but not latch to another family . Then at home we went out for dinner for our anniversary just he three of us and there was a family grandparents parents and 1 wee girl. Anytime my daughter moved into her view the mum was like go and speak to her go and play she followed her to the toliet and tried to play and I called my daughter back as I wanted time the 3 of us. I could hear the adults whispering that I was rude not letting her play but I work with kids and I didn't want to deal with a strangers child because they wanted adult chat. I think round the pool is fine even at the entertainment is fine but maybe she just wanted her kids to have time together ❤

I think you are being unreasonable here. Why let your kid irritate another person for 10 minutes! That other parent was putting in some effort to play with her child and then yours latched on… yes you could see them talking but if your child is a chatterbox then that isn’t surprising. The other adult was probably just being polite and waiting for you to come and play with your own child. He was clearly annoying them.
i get so irritated when other kids latch onto us when we are on holiday or on days out. It happens all the time and I see the parents of the other children are usually being lazy parents and not bothering to interact with their kids. We are usually playing with our kids and having fun and then we end up with extra kids coming over who our kids don’t even want there! I go on holiday or on days out to spend quality time with my own children and not to provide entertainment for other peoples’ kids that we will never see again. It has become a bit of a joke now with DH, literally wherever we go, other kids tag along while their parents are on their phones or chatting to other adults . This week at the beach we were constantly being pestered by other small children and when I looked around we were the only parents playing with our kids while the other adults slobbed. My kids clearly didn’t want to play with them and with one child, their parents let them hang around us for around half an hour (with no interaction from us) until I finally told them politely that it was time for them to go back to their family.
If my kids want to make friends and play with other kids on these occasions then fine, but usually they want our attention and to play with their siblings. I think it’s rude letting your child interrupt a family’s quality time on a day out or on holiday.

Who knows. Maybe she was an unpleasant woman (like some of the posters on this thread), maybe your child was being annoying, maybe her child was tired. Walk a mile in her shoes. At the end of the day, what are you going to do about it? Start an argument with her? Whatever her reasons, you have to think about your child and how it affects them. If it was me, the next day I'd just go over and make polite conversation with her, suss her out and take it from there. If both kids still wanted to play together then I'd ask her if it was okay. No need to stress about it.

This has turned into a ‘only’ thread V larger family threads.

Can see a pattern here.

Wonders if there’s holidays designed for only children to play?

No one is saying it isn’t hard. But clearly if a parent has to tell him to go away the boundary is crossed. Your mistake was deciding she was out of line.

We have an only child too who sounds v similar to yours. Only children are often much better at making friends. I would have approached the parents. I think thought that this woman was rude. There are certain parents who don’t seem to appreciate one of their kids making an independent friend as suddenly they have to entertain their other child. For some reason they think their 10 year old boy should be happier playing with their 5year old sisters dolls than kicking a ball around with a bunch of 10 year olds.

there are some very insular people around that think their kids shouldn’t make new friends and just sit there at the table all night with their boring parents and annoying sibling.
Holidays are great for developing kid’s confidence and independence. We have always ended up with other kids round our Sun loungers and made some friendships that have lasted years this way.

yes a child has to learn if they’re not welcome but I’m a bit perplexed by this woman’s behaviour, it sounds like her son was also having fun.

My daughter adopted two children a couple of years ago and her daughter, now nearly 8, often approaches children to play with them. On the way to school she shouts across the road to other children, some of whom are older and obviously embarrassed by her attentions! She seems to have missed out on learning what is acceptable between other children and what isn't, though often it is fine and she plays happily with them.
Personally I don't particularly want other peoples' children approaching us when we're eating or doing something as a family but don't mind in a playground or on the beach.

And I agree with others that's it simple to go over to the other family and ask if they mind your child playing with them. It could be that half an hour or so is fine but after that they've had enough.
I know that it's harder with only children - we had four DC so they could always fight happily amongst themselves - but not everyone is happy to have other children with them.

She probably got fed up of his non stop chatter after a few minutes and wanted to enjoy the entertainment in peace. Try not to take it too personally.

Also, don't allow your son to run around tables. It's dangerous, wait staff or other holiday makers will be carrying drinks.

Some of the comments on here are harsh, no wonder the world is such a mess. Kids are allowed to be sociable and there are kind ways to ask a child to move on if u don't want them there. One minute it's all, "it takes a village" and the next it's, "fuck off other people's kids". 🙄🤣

I cannot believe the arse holes on this post. You’d actually tell a child to go away who was trying to play with your child?? You’d actually be annoyed by a child trying to play with your child? Awful, rude peopi feel sorry for your kids tbh what kind of example to set them is that? Someone is being friendly so tell them to do one?? My child is an only child & when we’re at soft play or similar she’s her usual friendly self & makes friends with other kids. I’m really happy she does this otherwise it means mostly playing by herself. Also you know, it’s a lovely trait to be friendly & kind to others. I never for a minute thought there would be parents with this attitude and actually I wouldn’t want my daughter making friends with such rude self absorbed pricks! I’ll keep my eye out for your types from now 👍🏼

Totally agree. Some extremely ugly personalities on this thread. Saddens me.

I totally agree. It's beyond comprehension that a mother could be so harsh to another little person. Bet it's the same parents that are banging on the doors of the parents that dare say anything to their precious little darling for stepping a foot out of line.

By all means tell the child ( in a nice way) that you're having dinner and "wee Henry' will be back in action shortly.

But the seasoned ones amongst us knows how these things play out

It half an hour before bed, which becomes an hour in the morning, then it’s all afternoon by the pool -

If you want you only to have friends on holiday then you do the caring for the stranger child no?

Don’t palm them off, step up!

Exactly. I’m shocked & pretty disgusted at what Iv been reading. People are awful.

Except that on holiday it always seems to happen that the 'friendly' child always seems to have parents that happily sit on their sun beds day after day while you entertain their child. I've actually heard them encourage their child to go over to us and play. When it happens over several days you can see what's happening and people are under no obligation to mind other people's children. You decided to have them so you look after them.