Page 13 | To feel embarrassed that we can’t afford to buy a property?

Foreveraskingquestions · 2023-04-06T11:51:50+00:00

Since me and DH have been together buying a property has never really been in our interest. We had money at the start but we wasn’t bothered as rent was fairly cheap back then and our priority really was just having fun and going on holidays. Luckily our current property is HA and it is dirt cheap but we are now leaving and going into private rent. Our rent is now going to be 1k I never imagined spending that much on rent but it’s a beautiful home and it gives our kids the space they need to blossom. FIL was gobsmacked about how much rent were going to be paying and said how it’s dead money. It’s obviously got into DH head and now he thinks we’re “failures”. Everyone in his family has brought their properties we are the only ones that haven’t. AIBU to think we’re not failures? He said his family are probably laughing at us. I don’t know how we would ever be able to buy a place in our area. Maybe if we moved up north!

GasPanic · 10/04/2023 11:12

workinprog · 08/04/2023 13:23

Where is your area @GasPanic ?

East Midlands.

NaturalBae · 10/04/2023 11:16

NewNovember · 10/04/2023 10:03

Some properties do not but again in England the HA has to offer you an alternative house to buy. RTA is available to every HA tenant that has been a tenant fir 3 years

Show quote history

That is definitely not the case re. all HA’s.

Debbie1320 · 24/08/2023 01:47

Personally, your response has been such an inspiration and provided a form of reassurance I didn't realise I needed. We are doing exactly what you mentioned. We opted to move to a bigger property and are paying a higher rent so we can provide that living space for our dear children. We had a deposit (lost half of it, long story) the whole thing fell through. There was always one hurdle or another to us owning a property. I got fed up of it all and decided f it. Our children are a few years from adulthood that by the time we were to save up what we needed, they would have been long gone and not be there to enjoy the property in their younger years as we would have wanted them to. Now we're looking to securing our retirement home instead. Mind you we're twenty or so years away from that but it's now something I've resigned myself to and seems more achievable. I desperately wanted to own my own home but even with the deposit we had, our credit wasn't the best either. What's the process to building your own home? Please share.

IvyIvyIvy · 26/08/2023 13:08

Own the choice you made. We do. There are so many benefits to renting- not having to spend your time and money maintaining a property and therefore more valuable time to spend with family (so many people are focussing on house renovations when their kids are young and miss out), flexibility to live in the house that works for you in terms of size, layout and location for different stages of life with only very low level transaction moving fees. It gives you the ability to move into school catchment areas and move out once you've got the place. You didn't chase status and follow capitalism. You didn't feel the need to collect assets. You used your money for making memories and for other priorities. The rising mortgage rates means that house prices are heading down- prices have peaked and anyone buying recently has been foolish- it's cyclical. Zoopla actually recently released research that shows that an average rent is now lower than a mortgage payment on the same property.

Talkingtomyhouseplants · 26/08/2023 16:32

That’s lovely @IvyIvyIvy what do you propose the OP does when she retires?

IvyIvyIvy · 26/08/2023 22:12

Talkingtomyhouseplants · 26/08/2023 16:32

That’s lovely @IvyIvyIvy what do you propose the OP does when she retires?

Buy something small and inna cheaper area when her kids have moved out. I think her main concern at the moment is that she thinks her family is laughing at her- which I don't think is a good reason to borrow all the money you can, many multiples of what you earn, and buy at peak prices and interest rates.

PonyPatter44 · 26/08/2023 22:14

Anyone who would laugh at a family in that situation is a total cock, ad franklya disgraceful person...do you care what such people think?

AlwaysGinPlease · 27/08/2023 13:25

IvyIvyIvy · 26/08/2023 13:08

Own the choice you made. We do. There are so many benefits to renting- not having to spend your time and money maintaining a property and therefore more valuable time to spend with family (so many people are focussing on house renovations when their kids are young and miss out), flexibility to live in the house that works for you in terms of size, layout and location for different stages of life with only very low level transaction moving fees. It gives you the ability to move into school catchment areas and move out once you've got the place. You didn't chase status and follow capitalism. You didn't feel the need to collect assets. You used your money for making memories and for other priorities. The rising mortgage rates means that house prices are heading down- prices have peaked and anyone buying recently has been foolish- it's cyclical. Zoopla actually recently released research that shows that an average rent is now lower than a mortgage payment on the same property.

What utter tosh! 😂

caringcarer · 27/08/2023 14:07

Foreveraskingquestions · 06/04/2023 14:10

It’s not a decision we made lightly we have stayed here as long as we possibly can and I feel stupid for giving it up. But at what stage do you say enough is enough?

Tiny small box garden, small bedrooms baby DS is still sharing with us. No room to put anything we’re all so unhappy.

FIL bought his property in his 30s for 30K and sold it for 200k few years ago 😩

Stay put and bid for a larger house.

Crapsummer2023 · 27/08/2023 14:35

I don’t think you’re a failure, after all you’ve put a roof over your kids heads. However, I do think you’re very short term in your thinking which leads you to make poor decisions. It’s all very ‘live for today!’ but what about 5, 10 years from now?

IvyIvyIvy · 27/08/2023 14:57

AlwaysGinPlease · 27/08/2023 13:25

What utter tosh! 😂

Show quote history

Why?

AlwaysGinPlease · 28/08/2023 06:49

@IvyIvyIvy You need to ask why? Read your post. The below in particular.

You didn't chase status and follow capitalism. You didn't feel the need to collect assets. You used your money for making memories and for other priorities

What the fuck is that crap above all about? As you know full well renting is literally throwing money into someone else's pockets. Who's paying their rent when they retire? You think you can't own property and make memories? You have a very odd view of homeowners.

IvyIvyIvy · 28/08/2023 09:23

AlwaysGinPlease · 28/08/2023 06:49

@IvyIvyIvy You need to ask why? Read your post. The below in particular.

You didn't chase status and follow capitalism. You didn't feel the need to collect assets. You used your money for making memories and for other priorities

What the fuck is that crap above all about? As you know full well renting is literally throwing money into someone else's pockets. Who's paying their rent when they retire? You think you can't own property and make memories? You have a very odd view of homeowners.

I guess you are one of these types of people OP refers to in her original post. Lots of people choose to rent. And there are lots of good reasons why renting can suit a family better than buying. It's a perfectly valid way to live.