To feel embarrassed that we can’t afford to buy a property?

[Foreveraskingquestions]

Since me and DH have been together buying a property has never really been in our interest. We had money at the start but we wasn’t bothered as rent was fairly cheap back then and our priority really was just having fun and going on holidays.

Luckily our current property is HA and it is dirt cheap but we are now leaving and going into private rent. Our rent is now going to be 1k I never imagined spending that much on rent but it’s a beautiful home and it gives our kids the space they need to blossom.

FIL was gobsmacked about how much rent were going to be paying and said how it’s dead money. It’s obviously got into DH head and now he thinks we’re “failures”. Everyone in his family has brought their properties we are the only ones that haven’t.

AIBU to think we’re not failures? He said his family are probably laughing at us.

I don’t know how we would ever be able to buy a place in our area. Maybe if we moved up north!

Also, renting isn’t dead money - it’s a roof over your head!

Paying a mortgage is also a roof over your head.
But it's investing money at the same time. Money that you'll always have. Over a 25 year period your mortgage will stay the same even if cost of living and wages go up.

Private renting your effectively Paying someone else's mortgage.
Paying rent the rent will always go up, even if the landlords mortgage stays the same.

And many people do not have a choice. It is really difficult to get the money together to buy a house, especially if you are renting.

Many years ago we lived next door to a couple who were renting, and every six months they had the contract up for renewal. They had no sooner got another six months before they were anticipating another renewal. It was really stressful for them.

I understand buying is an investment so not "dead" money in that sense but there doesn't seem to be as huge a difference in monthly cost in my area right now with increasing mortgage rates.

When we moved into our first bought property a few years ago it was a good £400 cheaper a month than our rent. Now it's basically the same price as similar rentals in the area and we seem to be getting letters from our mortgage provider about rate increases every month!

And many people do not have a choice. It is really difficult to get the money together to buy a house, especially if you are renting.

Yes very difficult to save if your paying a hefty rent. Which is why it makes more sense for the Op to stick with her cheap HA rent and save so they in a few years they can buy somewhere.

@GreggsRoll initially mortgage might be the same or more than rent money.
The mortgage will still be the same in 5, 10, 20 years time. You can guarantee that the rent will be a lot higher.

Lots of people even in the past really struggled with the first few years of having a mortgage. Then as their salary goes up things get easier.

Oh yes absolutely! I wanted to buy as soon as possible but I had to rent for 10 years til I could afford to get on the housing ladder. We borrowed the absolute maximum we could over the longest time allowed (til H is 70 😩😂). We only have a 3 bed semi 🤣 but it’s ‘ours’.

Everyone has different priorities. It was more important to me to buy a house than go on nice holidays so I missed out and now I have kids there’s no chance of nice hols 🤣

I would not be leaving a HA property with a secure tenancy to go private. No way! Please don't do this. Your FIL is right. Stay In the property with cheap rent and save for a deposit on a house.

Or you can go on homeswapper and exchange with someone.

I was with a HA, my rent was nearly 1k for a 1 bed (,it was new build in London) I exchanged with someone to Essex 2 bed maisonette (council) we then bought the property in 2019 (you have to be a tenant for 1 year before you buy. We would never have been able to afford to buy if it wasn't for RTB. With childcare costs being over 1k it just wasn't possible.

I'd say sit tight, and make a plan. Don't private rent

Well you need to own your choices. No point in regrets

£1 pcm is a cheap rent for 4 beds isnt it?

Personally, I wouldn't have had 3 kids if I couldn't provide a home for them but eaxh to their own

The OP is providing a home for her children!

£1k a month rent for a 4 bed is v cheap; it’s about £1500 here.

I definitely wouldn’t give up your HA you have a more secure tenancy than with a private rental, if staying is an option then stay put and save for a mortgage. I’m in my sixties now and it wasn’t easy buying our house it was a long journey, but well worth it, being mortgage free in later life takes a huge weight of your mind. I know people will say it’s more expensive to buy nowadays but in terms of cost’s it was just as expensive then if you factor in wage’s of those day’s it certainly was not easy to buy then as it is now. We had to go without many things in order to do it. But you would be in a better position to save up and buy if you stayed put, because getting a HA house is far harder than getting a mortgage these day’s, so if you do have a choice stay put. I have children who rent and they have been forced out by landlords selling up, a HA tenancy is secure private is not.

I prefer a fixed rate to variable; this may suit you better too.

Fixed rate is best for most people because assuming you've budgeted properly, you know you'll always be able to afford it (barring some unforeseen financial disaster). It's less risky.

We were on a fixed rate but it's expired and haven't yet been able to remortgage annoyingly

Definitely not failures.. I see this quire a lot where people renting privately say they could buy properties for the same amount. The HA are your best bet IMHO as you are secured..
Scenario is private rent can sell up or increase prices.
Mortgage you are basically renting from the bank/building society until its paid off. If you were to have a period of not working you could have property re possesed. And are responsible for all your own repairs.
HA is secured tenancy and even if you have a period of not working then they will work with you to keep you in your property. Also their rent is regulated.

My opinion is stay in HA. Whatever you choose i hope it works out for you.

I agree. I don’t have any sympathy for the OP at all. Imagine squandering 30k on holidays and good times instead of buying a house when they already had a child.

@drpet49 Im
glad it’s not just me, this made me really quite cross!

Getting a mortgage you are paying someone elses interest (ie the mortgage holder pays the savers interest).

The key issue is not whether your are paying something to someone else, but how you can fulfill your living requirements (which includes stuff like size of house and security of tenure) at the lowest cost.

A lot of time people do not factor into the expense of owning a house fully. They compare rent with mortgage payments. What they don't do is factor in maintenance costs, insurance costs of running a house etc which can be very expensive.

For me renting was always cheaper than paying a mortgage, but my personal circumstances were a bit different from most people. What tended to put me at a disadvantage more was house price increases over the period. These increases are unlikely to be huge (and may even be negative going forwards for the next few years), so we are at a stage now where renting looks even better value.

@GasPanic ever heard of equity?

Renting is throwing your money at someone else never to be seen again. Renting is never going to be as cost effective five as owning. When you retire you still have to pay rent. When the mortgage is paid that's it!

No idea where the five appeared from in my post 😂

@GasPanic
Monthly costs
Renting = paying someone else's capital & their interest & profit.

Buying = paying your own capital & interest which will drop as your capital goes up. No profit

Maintenance.
Decorating is needed in both social housing and private.

Other Maintenance kitchens/ bathrooms/ windows and doors should have a design life of 25 years plus people change more often for fashion reasons.

Insurance
Building insurance is about £150 per year probably included within the rent payment.
Contents you need in regardless of ownership

On year one mortgage maybe the same as rent. But in year 10 the rent will have gone up while the mortgage is the same.

Owning is a long-term investment. Renting you are always paying for someone else's investment.

Buying eventually be minimal housing costs, Renting will always be a big bill.

@Mummyof3dc @drpet49 yep my thoughts exactly. People with £30k savings shouldn't be getting housing association houses.
You had the money OP. You spent it as you wished. Deal with it. Also you don't have to buy a 4 bed. Buy a 3 bed, save some more and do an extension.

You're not faliures for renting. It's a bad idea moving from HA to private though, unless you get one of those wonderful LL that want you to stay long term. I get the cramped issue, we lived in a small house with zero storage (even the loft was practically unusable due to low cross beams). We were constantly tripping over stuff and our house looked like a junk shop, and with 2 DC it wasn't fun.

There's so much instability in private renting, although I can see why you want to, but the only way I would move out of a HA house is if the area/neighbours were horrendous. I would hang on in there for a larger house swap, or would try to organise my house into something more efficient (plenty of advice on the internet), and I would save, save, save for a 3 bed.

I know home ownership is out of the question for some, but if you can, you should, because at least then you can't be kicked out (barring calamities) and you can get your money back(ish) if you sell.

currently there is right to acquire for HA properties essentially the same as RTB just a much smaller discount. The government is piloting RTB for HA properties with a view to extending the scheme across England.

Ever heard of negative equity ?

It can and does happen.

Round my way it's taken over 15 years for prices to recover from their 2007 high. Many, especially flats are still being sold below the top of the market price.

You take your chances.