To feel embarrassed that we can’t afford to buy a property?

[Foreveraskingquestions]

Since me and DH have been together buying a property has never really been in our interest. We had money at the start but we wasn’t bothered as rent was fairly cheap back then and our priority really was just having fun and going on holidays.

Luckily our current property is HA and it is dirt cheap but we are now leaving and going into private rent. Our rent is now going to be 1k I never imagined spending that much on rent but it’s a beautiful home and it gives our kids the space they need to blossom.

FIL was gobsmacked about how much rent were going to be paying and said how it’s dead money. It’s obviously got into DH head and now he thinks we’re “failures”. Everyone in his family has brought their properties we are the only ones that haven’t.

AIBU to think we’re not failures? He said his family are probably laughing at us.

I don’t know how we would ever be able to buy a place in our area. Maybe if we moved up north!

You had 30k but you spent it on holidays and now you’re claiming UC to help pay your rent ? I’d be embarrassed about that tbh. You’ve gone backwards. Stay where you are and save up for a house. Rents are only going to get higher.

No offence but you don't sound very bright OP!

Where is your area @GasPanic ?

Defo failure on the basis you had the opportunity and the funds to buy a property. If you never had even chance that would some comfort.

Lol what a prick.

@GasPanic negative equity means the house is currently worth less than you paid. And it really only becomes an issue if you need to sell.
But long term houses go up in price.

@GasPanic have you seen the thread about the woman considering buying a property for her Dad in his mid 70s because his landlord wants to sell up?

Op is absolutely mad to give up a secure tenancy.

I certainly agree that there's more nuance to renting vs buying, but not just in the way you stated.
Insurance, maintenance etc.. you don't get all that for free as a renter. You're paying for it as part of your rent. And when mortgage rates go up, presumably the rent will too if you rent from a BTL landlord.
Negative equity is a concern, but it's only relevant at 2 points - when you sell, or remortgage.
A more pressing concern is stability of tenure.
I don't see my house as a 'major investment', its my biggest asset yes but as long as I eventually pay off the mortgage what happens after isn't my most major concern. Having moved several times in the last few years, and spent enough time in shite properties the security of my own, small home is immeasurable.

Unlike the older generation I wouldn't advise people to buy ASAP, as you stated properties like flats are dropping in value in places without a big rental market for those places - where DP is from for example nobody really goes for work and young people don't rent a flat, they stay home and save. Young people are more likely to move out of these places for work, and it will then become a burden.

But I do think, unless people are planning to move around they should be aiming to buy. Or obtain a secure tenancy.

I have read your post OP over several days and saw your updates

To answer your headline question generally - No, no one should be embarrassed that they cannot afford to buy a property, but with shared ownership its far more easier.

To answer your question pertaining to you - Yes with your opportunities wasted and money spent on fun when you was already a mum you should be a bit embarrassed. To give up a HA tenancy that gains “ acquired rights “ …. Google it …. Yes be highly ashamed as a mum - sorry

your crazy leaving HA , you know you get a discount in buying them after a certain amount of years ? £1000 pm is insane . You could have saved staying with HA.

You will also get rehoused if your overcrowded.

Only if there are any available properties in your area, someone is looking to downsize and switch with you or if you don’t mind totally uprooting everyone to a random part of the country.

I don’t live in HA but I thought the above was quite well known.

If you’re both able to work, you can rent somewhere privately or buy…

You're not failures. We own ours because we were gifted some money, probably like 90% of people under 40 who have bought. Yes we work hard and save, but that's not enough to buy a house in this country anymore.

You’re not failures! This comment is exactly what I came to say. It’s hard and only going to get harder for folk

Get yourself on the councils list
as a start may take an age but once you’re on

She’s leaving a HA property to private rent…

Why would you assume OP is low paid? They have spent thousands on travelling, have children and now have chosen to pay £1000 in rent instead of a secure cheap H/A tenancy. This doesn’t scream “low pay”, but it does point towards lack of long term planning.

That's not right, because you're technically overcrowded so your council has a legal duty to rehouse you. You should write to your local MP and get some advice from a housing solicitor before giving up your tenancy. Private tenancies aren't secure, your landlord could decide to sell up at any time (which many are doing in this cost of living crisis) and that would leave you at the councils mercy once again, and you won't get a council/HA property so quickly due to the housing situation in this country so you could end up stuck in cramped temporary accommodation for several years. You need to think long and hard before you give up the property you're in now.

But the same applies, the company could decide to sell or it could even go bust and then you'd be in the same situation 😣

Not all HA properties have Right to Buy, unlike council.

No but they have right to aquire instead in England same thing much lower discount.

Only some have RTA, not all HA's have this.

Some properties do not but again in England the HA has to offer you an alternative house to buy. RTA is available to every HA tenant that has been a tenant fir 3 years

https://www.gov.uk/right-to-acquire-buying-housing-association-home