To not want my MIL in my bedroom

[OMalleytheAlleyyCat]

I'm on maternity leave and once a week MIL comes over to watch DS for a few hours.

I sleep in a bed beside DS's cot in the nursery and DH sleeps in the master.

Because my bedroom is also technically "the nursery" my MIL feels she can go into it as she pleases.

Her argument is she needs to be able to put DS down for his naps but the time she regularly comes doesn't overlap with his nap times, I always put him down before and after her visits.

She may need to go in there occasionally to get a muslin etc but I feel she needs to be more respectful and only go in when necessary.

DH has had to explicitly tell her not to lie in my bed. She's constantly taking things out of the nursery and scattering them around the house.

But the other day she really pee'd me off - DS was still napping when she came - I was alone in the kitchen and saw him cry on the babycam, I walked into the nursery to find her half on the bed with her face up to him. I thought she was in the living room! He did his scared "wtf" cry and I said annoyed "oh...hello..?!" and DH, also annoyed, asked her to leave (he works from home).

She said "he was already awake" but that's not the point!! I feel like a teenager shouting at my mum (in law) "get out of my room!!"

AIBU?

This must be a wind up?

I never usually do the 'switch the mothers around' scenario on threads about MILs, because it's not often applicable.

But, assuming your own mother isn't passed away or non-contact or lives on Mars or something, would you throw her out the house for sitting on the spare bed while she baby sat your DC?

It's a nursery. Of course whoever is looking after the child should be allowed to go into the nursery. If it bothers you that people go into a room where you have decided to sleep, move back to bedroom.

Also, maybe take advantage of that free, reliable, trustworthy childcare and go do something you want to do instead of following your MIL around the house; sounds crowded.

I need to know why/how it’s your bedroom. Unless you have moved in there permanently I wouldn’t consider it your room. You do refer to it as your room though so maybe you are there permanently

Why don't you sleep in bed with your husband?

Failing to see what Mil has done wrong tbh.

Your poor MIL. You sound unhinged OP.

This!! OP will find something or other to complain about her MIL

Feel very sorry for your poor mil.

If you’re not happy with her providing free childcare, make another arrangement. But don’t make things up about her not being “respectful” (wtf?) because she’s gone into the nursery while looking after your baby. It’s really spiteful.

You can't get good servants nowadays.

In a couple more years the OP will be really indignant because her child's grandparents show zero interest in little lord Fauntleroy

You're never allowed to be annoyed at anything a grandparent does. You have to kneel before them if they look after their own grandchild (who they want to see) for a few hours.

You and DH don’t sound very grateful for all the work she is doing for you free. What does it matter if she goes into that room?

Mental.
It’s not your room, it’s your DC’s. Just because you are sleeping in it temporarily doesn’t make it yours.
Your MIL is going into the nursery while looking after your DC. She not weird, you are.

Obviously people are not reading the thread title.
The OP is talking about a MIL.

Now do you understand why this person should not have entered a forbidden space. She is there to do only what the OP specifically instructs her to do.

Without question.

Why do you sleep in your son’s room? It doesn’t sound like your real bedroom, just a temporary situation? If that’s the case, it seems a bit OTT to complain about MIL when she’s doing you a favour and she’ll need to go in there. I could understand if she’s snooping in the bedroom you share with your husband, but this is the nursery?

Your MIL sounds like a loving, caring grandma who enjoys spending time with her grandchild. I don't think you can really get annoyed with her lying on the bed that it in the baby's nursery.

I love that your baby has a wtf look!

This can't be real, you want your mil to provide childcare but she isn't allowed in the nursery ? Mental 😂 I feel sorry for her.

Have you actually had a civil conversation with her and explained that this is your bedroom for the foreseeable and that you feel it's a private space? If not, it's probably just not obvious to her. I would assume there was a bed there in case someone needs to use it to lie with him to settle him at night or at naptime.

If I had a DIL who asked me to leave her home for this ridiculous "crime", I'd not be providing free childcare any longer.

Why don’t you pay for a nanny since this arrangement doesn’t appear to suit you?

Same. I feel very strongly about privacy. But if my baby was being looked after someone, I'd expect them to be able to use the nursery where necessary without feeling like they have to skulk around.

As a grandmother I wouldn't dream of going into my DD and Son in law's bedroom, but it wouldn't occur to me to feel the same about a nursery that my DD was temporarily sleeping in with the baby. Especially if I was looking after my DGCs.

Did you say that your husband chucked her out of your house for laying on the bed to greet your son from a nap before taking care of him to free you up to run errands? Did I read that correctly? If I did, that's fucking awful behaviour.

And to be clear - awful behaviour from you and your husband. Your poor MIL!!

Jeeeze. I skimmed the OP and missed that. The poor woman. I could weep for her.

I'm now thinking this can't be true. Who would treat their own mother that way? Her son is even worse than OP.