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Original poster

The neighbours are going to hate us

583 replies

Potentialneighboursfromhell · 05/04/2023 14:42

I've just signed for the keys for a flat for me and my DC, it's on the first floor of a small block. There are 8 or 10 flats in total.

I wasn't in a position to hang about hoping something on a ground level came up.

I have 3 DC one of which has autism and adhd.

I came to the new property today to drop off a few bits ahead of the big move next week. The kids were excited, running around.

A downstairs neighbour came up to see if everything was OK and what all the noise was (it was the kids running around - this being the first time they had seen the place and they were excited)

I explained and apologised, the neighbour was fine but I got a sinking feeling as soon as I closed the door. My children are going to drive that poor man and his family mad. DS especially. He shouts, screams, bangs - due to his disability. It can't be controlled not for want of trying. Lord knows it drives me round the bend too.

I've been treading on egg shells the rest of the time we've been here. Telling the kids to "shh" and be quiet, take your shoes off so they don't hear you walking about, lower your voices, don't do this don't do that.

It's going to be hell for everybody. Kids included.

I've made a mistake haven't I? What the hell am I going to do now 😔

OP posts:
OhMyCherriePie · 05/04/2023 14:45

Did you post about this before moving? there was a similar post a couple of weeks ago. Yes they will hate you probably I had a family of 5 living above me in a one bed flat (3kids) and the noise was hell, I celebrated when they moved out

Original poster
Potentialneighboursfromhell · 05/04/2023 14:45

I can also smell weed in my kitchen and it certainly isn't coming from me 😐

OP posts:
Desperatelywantinganother · 05/04/2023 14:46

If the downstairs neighbors are also council tenants and the flat is the same layout, you could always offer to swap flats if the noise gets too much for them and they start complaining constantly.

You need somewhere to live and this was what was available. Do what you can to limit the noise but don’t apologize for existing. You are your kids have the right to take up space in the world too.

Cupcakequeen75 · 05/04/2023 14:46

Empty buildings are noisier than furnished ones.
Does it have carpets & curtains?
Some furniture will help.

Original poster
Potentialneighboursfromhell · 05/04/2023 14:49

OhMyCherriePie · 05/04/2023 14:45

Did you post about this before moving? there was a similar post a couple of weeks ago. Yes they will hate you probably I had a family of 5 living above me in a one bed flat (3kids) and the noise was hell, I celebrated when they moved out

No that's not me. I only viewed this place Monday and don't move in for another week.

I'm sorry to hear that. This is a 3 bed but that won't change much as far as noise goes.

OP posts:
SpeckledlyHen · 05/04/2023 14:52

Firstly is it or can you get it carpeted? My brother is in a ground floor flat with tenants above him on a laminate floor and he’s verging on a nervous breakdown due the noise above him. Sometimes he talked about taking his own life because of it. If it was carpeted it would make things sooo much better for him.

OhMyCherriePie · 05/04/2023 14:53

Potentialneighboursfromhell · 05/04/2023 14:49

No that's not me. I only viewed this place Monday and don't move in for another week.

I'm sorry to hear that. This is a 3 bed but that won't change much as far as noise goes.

Show quote history

I guess it will be better as the noise will be more spaced out! My neighbours were horrendous though as they had laminate throughout and use to allow their children to ride (scooters? Don’t know what it was) but wheels back and forth all day long

FooFighter99 · 05/04/2023 14:53

Can you try and soundproof as much as possible? Make sure you have carpets and rugs in each room, curtains and blinds and even wall hangings - all will help to deaden the noise.

Maybe try a reward chart with the kids to encourage them to be considerate of their noise levels.

But also, don't worry too much, I assume the kids will be in school and your neighbours will be at work for parts of the day.

Such is life when you live in a block of flats, noise is just part and parcel of the experience

I live in a mid-terrace and can practically hear every word my neighbours say.... I'm sure they must not have carpets and curtains! And their dog barks so much!! But that's the joy of living in joined up houses Grin

Original poster
Potentialneighboursfromhell · 05/04/2023 14:53

I'm not a council tenant unfortunately, it's a private rent. I'm not sure what the situ is with the downstairs neighbours.

Regarding furnishings it's currently empty but I'll be putting down rugs in every room. I've got a huge one that'll cover the majority of the floor in the living/dining room.

Hopefully once everything is in that'll help how the noise travels but I think the fact they've knocked on the door within half an hour of the kids being here is a good indicator of how it's going to go 😔

OP posts:
Dogsitterwoes · 05/04/2023 14:55

Hard one. Your son can't help making excessive noise but in flats that is going to be hell for your neighbour downstairs.

Insulation under thick carpet, keep running around to a minimum, don't let the other two scream and shout. I would explain to your neighbour so that they don't think it's just rowdy family.

Then try and move somewhere more suitable ASAP.

Original poster
Potentialneighboursfromhell · 05/04/2023 14:56

SpeckledlyHen · 05/04/2023 14:52

Firstly is it or can you get it carpeted? My brother is in a ground floor flat with tenants above him on a laminate floor and he’s verging on a nervous breakdown due the noise above him. Sometimes he talked about taking his own life because of it. If it was carpeted it would make things sooo much better for him.

Dear God, your poor brother. This is exactly the sort of thing I'm worried about. Its laminate unfortunately. I'd 100% be up for getting carpets but it'll take a while. My savings have been completely wiped out just getting over the threshold.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 05/04/2023 14:57

I'd let them know about potential problems. When I moved in here there was an elderly man with dementia upstairs. Mostly he was fine but he went through stages of playing music or watching TV at full volume. It drove me nuts but it didn't last long & I was slightly more tolerant because I knew his set up

The current residents have several small dogs & almost as soon as they moved in gave me their phone number to message if the dogs were annoying me. Theyve put good underlay & carpeting down & I honestly barely hear footsteps other than in the kitchen

Carpet the floors rather than laminate & be approachable to neighbours so if they do have a problem hopefully they won't come all guns blazing

Delatron · 05/04/2023 14:58

Get it carpeted or put rugs down. But yes it’s not going to be pleasant for them at all. Can you keep looking for a ground floor flat and move out as soon as you can. It will be stressful for you and awful for them.

illiterato · 05/04/2023 15:00

Also be super strict about shoes off. It makes a big difference.

Ponderingwindow · 05/04/2023 15:00

I’m in a 2 story home. We invested in really thick carpet pad. The sections of our house that are carpeted, the noise doesn’t carry at all. The one section that is wood, it sounds like a herd of elephants above you.

Muffling makes a huge difference. Even sofas and beds will help absorb sound.

GigiGrey · 05/04/2023 15:01

Given that it's a three bed flat I would assume that a family lived there before you? So hopefully the downstairs neighbours are used to the noises of general family life from above. Also, we all know how nosey people can be. He might have heard some noise and come up to have a nosey at who his new neighbours were, rather than due to concerns about the amount of noise.

You could always pop in and explain your situation. People can be very understanding.

Original poster
Potentialneighboursfromhell · 05/04/2023 15:01

Moving isn't going to be an option for a long, long time. This is intended to be our home for the foreseeable future. It took a long time to save the ££££ needed to move.

OP posts:
ArcticBells · 05/04/2023 15:02

Definitely a shoes off policy

Delatron · 05/04/2023 15:04

Ok, you need to be on good terms with the neighbours then. Keep talking to them. Explain you’ve put rugs down for now but are saving for carpet for more sound proofing. And just be as considerate as you can around other noise. Don’t let kids up early making noise, shoes off, don’t have TV on really loud etc.

MelchiorsMistress · 05/04/2023 15:04

Your kids running about in a new empty flat because they’re excited is understandable, but you don’t have to allow them to run around indoors when you move in, and stopping that will lessen the noise in future.

Original poster
Potentialneighboursfromhell · 05/04/2023 15:04

I forgot to include that the downstairs neighbour does have a child of his own age 5 so will have an understanding about children and noise but they won't be bothering anybody on the ground floor so I don't think that fact alone will illicit much sympathy from them.

I'm coming from a groundfloor flat myself and have never had any noise complaints in all of our time living there. I've obviously become so complacent about that I completely overlooked any potential problems here.

OP posts:
Eggseggseverywhere · 05/04/2023 15:05

Thick slipper socks for the dc.

Rugs.
Distraction to quiet activities!
When we first moved ndn asked if the dd's did dancing... They quietened down.. Instead we listen to ndn's bloody dpuppy all day now.

Original poster
Potentialneighboursfromhell · 05/04/2023 15:06

No shoes policy will definitely be implemented. We don't wear shoes indoors in general, it's only because it's a flying visit.

OP posts:
3littlebeans · 05/04/2023 15:06

I think you really do have to do all you can to minimise the noise. Carpets etc.

Did you not think about that when you bought?? I really feel for your downstairs neighbours. Its so hard when you can't escape noise.

pickledandpuzzled · 05/04/2023 15:07

Congrats on your new home!

You can be mindful, without being anxious.

Soft toys, rubber toys, cushions, inflatables=no noise.
Hard toys, shoes, bouncing=noise.

Look out for soft stuff.
Think about things like yoga mats- if you have a yoga mat that becomes the toy train/car/lego mat, for example, that will really help both with tidiness and quietness.

Sound travels through hard surfaces. Those wedge things on a door stop fingers getting caught and door slamming noise.

You can get felt pads or silicon cups for the bottom of chairs so they don't scrape.

It doesn't need to be expensive, just thought through.

And definitely no shoes/hard slippers/trikes!

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