The neighbours are going to hate us

[Potentialneighboursfromhell]

I've just signed for the keys for a flat for me and my DC, it's on the first floor of a small block. There are 8 or 10 flats in total.

I wasn't in a position to hang about hoping something on a ground level came up.

I have 3 DC one of which has autism and adhd.

I came to the new property today to drop off a few bits ahead of the big move next week. The kids were excited, running around.

A downstairs neighbour came up to see if everything was OK and what all the noise was (it was the kids running around - this being the first time they had seen the place and they were excited)

I explained and apologised, the neighbour was fine but I got a sinking feeling as soon as I closed the door. My children are going to drive that poor man and his family mad. DS especially. He shouts, screams, bangs - due to his disability. It can't be controlled not for want of trying. Lord knows it drives me round the bend too.

I've been treading on egg shells the rest of the time we've been here. Telling the kids to "shh" and be quiet, take your shoes off so they don't hear you walking about, lower your voices, don't do this don't do that.

It's going to be hell for everybody. Kids included.

I've made a mistake haven't I? What the hell am I going to do now 😔

I agree with pp, loud music is much worse than the noise of children. Don’t feel bad, the neighbor can’t expect complete silence living in attached flats/apartments with common floors, ceilings, and walls. Insulating mats under the carpet and then rugs over the carpet where feasible should help hugely, and no shoes in the house which are all things you’re doing or going to put in place. Enjoy your new home!

Another thing.. the front door is stiff and heavy and doesn't close without being pulled briskly, resulting in a bang, so they're going to love that.

There's no handle to gently close it, just a solid door with a yale lock.

Is the children's father or paternal grandparents in the picture? Could they perhaps pay to have padding and carpet fitted ASAP before you move?

The three next door almost broke me, and I'm detached. Screaming kids are soul-destroying. How old are yours? The ones near me are finally all over 12 and have stopped the mindless running and shrieking eight feet from my kitchen window.

Good luck with everything.

Well, can it be oiled, or sanded to fit better? That would seem to be an easy enough fix rather than saying "guess they'll just have to put up with it."

If it was me then if possible, I would ask the landlady if I could get out of the contract because the problems it will cause are obvious. I would carry on looking.

I mean the lease between the freeholder and the leaseholder (which is your landlord). Unless you are in Scotland. I have assumed that this is purpose built flats.

I assume there is a management company involved too, the neighbour downstairs could contact them about the noise and ask them to investigate the flooring issue. This really isn’t your issue to resolve.

OP, you seemed determined not to care that your living situation is going to make life unpleasant for your neighbours. The attitude will be as much of an issue as anything else.

At first YANBU. But the more you post the more it sounds sneery and as if you're gloating about annoying your neighbours.

Don't be so silly, the whole point of my thread is because I do care.

I will be raising all of this with the landlady when she meets me at the property next week.

I reckon your landlady has beef with the downstairs neighbour and deliberately chose your family out of revenge.

I worked for Barratt homes years ago, it was in the contract of the sale of new build flats that you couldn’t lay laminate flooring in them. Had to be carpet and vinyl flooring in the bathrooms / kitchen.

No. I'm highlighting things I'm worried about and trying to make light of it with humour. I'm clearly incredibly worried about upsetting the neighbours and jeopardising us living there.

You might want to have a little self awareness about your attitude before you alienate you and your children from the neighbours.

Checkity check yourself before you wreck yourself 😊

Haha maybe!!

Jesus christ 😂

I'm a people pleaser to my own detriment. I definitely didn't have an "attitude" when the neighbour came up and knocked.

@Potentialneighboursfromhell wise words from old ice cube himself 😂

I can't believe the stupid comments some people make. It is clear that the OP is concerned about the noise level and is asking for help. Some people seem to make a career out of making the nastiest comment they can think of.

Alright then, I'm a people pleaser too so I sort of understand!

It'll be interesting to find out if your landlady fell out with the neighnours though!

#1 on the to do list once we're in is getting measured up for a carpet. My existing (massive) rug will go on top of that and that should make a good difference to the amount of noise. I'll make a point of speaking to the neighbours properly and explain DS' additional needs.

If the landlady has some bad history with the neighbour then I feel really sorry for the OP and her kids who are being used to get back at him.
For the record, most flat dwellers have beef with at least one of their joining neighnours.

When we moved into our house, the NDN came round on moving in day ‘checking we were supposed to be there’, never mind the fact they knew the previous owners had moved out that morning, and we had removal men there. I found it baffling, but it turns out they were just a very nosy neighbour. Still annoying, but you never know, maybe your neighbour just wanted to meet you and came up with this as an excuse to pop up?? 🤞

I think your obvious thoughtfulness and decency will go a long way to making things more bearable for your neighbours. I could put up with noise children make, it’s when they have arsehole parents that don’t give a shit and actively encourage them that it becomes really stressful.

Try not to be too anxious OP - there are some great suggestions on here for helping you to soundproof and if your neighbour comes up again you can tell him that you're working on it. Flats with hard floors are a nightmare for the downstairs neighbour unless you've got one or two quiet adults living upstairs and if your landlady is one quiet adult I guess the downstairs neighbours weren't expecting a family to move in.

Hopefully!

I relayed all of this to a friend who suggested the same, possibly just a curious neighbour wanting to see who's moving in etc.