The neighbours are going to hate us

[Potentialneighboursfromhell]

I've just signed for the keys for a flat for me and my DC, it's on the first floor of a small block. There are 8 or 10 flats in total.

I wasn't in a position to hang about hoping something on a ground level came up.

I have 3 DC one of which has autism and adhd.

I came to the new property today to drop off a few bits ahead of the big move next week. The kids were excited, running around.

A downstairs neighbour came up to see if everything was OK and what all the noise was (it was the kids running around - this being the first time they had seen the place and they were excited)

I explained and apologised, the neighbour was fine but I got a sinking feeling as soon as I closed the door. My children are going to drive that poor man and his family mad. DS especially. He shouts, screams, bangs - due to his disability. It can't be controlled not for want of trying. Lord knows it drives me round the bend too.

I've been treading on egg shells the rest of the time we've been here. Telling the kids to "shh" and be quiet, take your shoes off so they don't hear you walking about, lower your voices, don't do this don't do that.

It's going to be hell for everybody. Kids included.

I've made a mistake haven't I? What the hell am I going to do now 😔

I've also spoken to DS' school and told them what's going on and asked that they log it all down incase it does start to impact DS, so everyone who needs to be aware is now aware. Police. Council. Property management company. School.

I must admit I’m squarely on the side of the neighbour. You came in, got off on the wrong foot and disturbed the peace of preexisting residents, and now seem to be stirring up drama in the building because your lower neighbours aren’t accepting that a child thrashing and throwing and screaming on a regular basis falls into the definition of regular, expected noise they should have to put up with. They aren’t deaf or saints.

Yep.

Nope, neither.

Regarding furnishings it's currently empty but I'll be putting down rugs in every room. I've got a huge one that'll cover the majority of the floor in the living/dining room.

if its not fully carpeted wall to wall then the noise will still travel even with rugs on the floor

I read through your posts in this whole thread and I had a feeling they are being unreasonable since day one.

Complaining about a bit of noise from moving the furniture in? What's that good for?

Yes, the foam and rugs are good, keeping the trampoline would probably be too much, maybe you can check whether something can be done about the doors, but I would say you need to live there and they need to learn to live with it.

Having a small party for DD is a normal part of the life, just do it. Having a TV on a sound level which you can hear is a normal part of life, just do it. Going for toilet at night is a normal thing.

You are limiting the extra excess noise as you can and it sounds that you are generally doing great about that, given your DS sleeps at night. Don't do anything more.

So he drives a fancy car, works part time in a supermarket, doesn’t live there full time? As his at “his parents”.

She’s a gobby pot smoker training to be a nurse and their shared child is palmed off frequently.

Plus they have blazing rows about hitting each other.

Unfortunately based of a previous neighbour I’ve had I’m going to say this is going to get 100 times worse before it improves. I’d hope to be wrong but add in that other drugged up guy I’m going to say there’s a lot more than weed going on.

Yeah they're odd. Definitely not the sort of people you'd expect to see working in hospitals. Are they just taking on any riff raff these days?

So sorry you've dealt with similar @OhmygodDont do you mind me asking what happened?

Well that's a surprise. The ring doorbell has arrived. No idea how to set it up though. This will be interesting

Hi just came back to check in so upset for you that there acting this way, your too nice to them and too apologetic. I'm sorry but anyone blaming this young lady is terrible she already said she took what she could as rentals are hard to come by. Children will be children start ignoring the neighbours even if walking past and act like they don't exist. Save any encounters on the doorbell I had to do this in the end as we was creeping around to make no noise at all I'd drop a cup or flush the loo and be a nervous wreck. Anyone in this situation or has been will know its the worst your home is meant to be a happy place. Have your own background noise and ignore anyone that comes to your door its not antisocial and its not after hours untill then quite frankly its daily living noise so -they can do one.

I'm so shocked at some of these comments like you cannot tell a kid not to be excited or jump a few times constantly you can say it sometimes but to have to everytime they wont understand...and that will make them miserable they are children ! Did our parents/carers stop us being happy and having a child hood because of a neighbour. Well mine didnt.
You don't play loud music and do drugs so why should this lady be the one to have something to worry about???. Its discrimination at its best and save all the Bullshit oh she should've known before moving....in this day and age you think people would understand additional needs and that flat life living would be used to others in the flats and noises and that children are innocent little humans not raging lunatics hammering walls drilling and smoking weed smashinh out windows. And renting is extortionate what was she meant to be homeless or have a hostel with a single bed with children that need space. We don't all have the money for a house with garden semi detached or end if terraced . Jesus!! We wish

Infact I've been here and there wasn't anything that could be done about noise levels unless before a certain time in the am and after so therefore its not antisocial unless it's continuous or on purpose and have recording and proof. If your that " noisy" let them go to the council who will tell them to log and record the noise level I guarantee it won't pass the decible they look for to get a complaint against you. and again poorly made property and flooring not your fault!
please don't let people make you feel like crap my child dosent have additional needs but if they did I wouldn't be apologising before a certain time of night for anyone . Good luck with the door bell . Keep sane for you and your little family x

You both clearly must have perfect children . I’m assuming if your neighbour had an accident and became paraplegic you would be very upset if he needed a ramp instead of status because it would mean walking a bit more ? You do realise autism is a disability and those who live with it deserve protection ! The world is not perfect , deal with it yourself ? Personally I would worry more about a nurse smoking drugs than a child making noise

Ahhh Misc and mumwoman, thank you v much ❤️

There are some really unpleasant people on here that just love to stick the boot in.

The police called me back today and were really good. They asked if I was happy for them to come and see me at home and then go downstairs and speak to them afterwards. I said I was a bit scared about them knowing I've contacted the police at this stage and went into why that is, I think they're volatile and could be dangerous. The plan as decided between us is that I'll continue to report every incident when it happens (she gave me an email address and telephone number I can make contact with her on without having to go through 101 or the online form) and build up the evidence that way so that when the police do intervene there will be evidence and a stronger case that won't be easily dismissed as a neighbourly dispute. She's going to check in with me on Monday.

I think if they'd have gone there today the neighbour would have given them a load of waffle about me being noisy and it would look like tit for tat with no evidence either way. Then they'd be gunning for me big league.

I have a video of the him and then later her hanging out their kitchen window with a massive joint (twice) this afternoon so that's saved aswell as another night of the music being on at almost 11.30pm logged with dates and times.

My curtains stink of the stuff. I wouldn't want to go into their house. That poor kid 😵‍💫

I think if they'd have gone there today the neighbour would have given them a load of waffle about me being noisy and it would look like tit for tat with no evidence either way. Then they'd be gunning for me big league

But it’s not a load of waffle, you have been noisy and that’s why your neighbours complained in the first place. It was only after then it escalated and now suddenly they are antisocial weed smoking, druggies with nice cars who only work part time with druggie mates etc etc…It’s clear who is gunning for who by your updates IMO.

The neighbours were complaining even about things like getting furniture in. They haven't started in anyhow reasonable way .

Living in a flat, there is no guarantee that it will be a nice old lady living above you.

Ah your problem with me now makes sense as I've just seen this from you posted on another thread about neighbours.

Why don't you go and buy/rent a detached house in the middle of nowhere if you don't like noise. Oh, you can't afford it either?

Op don't bother wasting your energy replying to anyone none constructive. You have nothing to prove to any of these people and you will only work yourself up xx

It does sound like you're a noisier than average neighbour OP but your downstairs neighbours don't sound great for other reasons. I guess it's the risk of apartment living? You might have the quietest little old person in the apartment above or someone with ten noisy kids. Luck of the draw. No-one can ask more of you than your best and you need to live somewhere. As long as you are trying to keep it as quiet as you can, I'd rather the odd bout of noise from a neighbour than smoke drifting in.

I think that's a very fair and balanced comment.

I'm certainly under no illusions that my children are the quietest to live below. I've acknowledged from day 1 that it may well be pretty shit for people living under us, especially if DS is having a tough time or a a meltdown (which are becoming further apart as he gets older, thankfully)

My youngest who may well be on the spectrum himself is easily triggered, any squabbles over toys and he screams blue murder. That must be incredibly annoying. It is for me.

Then for balance they are really antisocial to live above too. The weed thing is every day without fail multiple times a day, even after I explained my medical stuff and the woman said they'd go round the other side but instead have taken to smoking it under my window even more. They don't want their flat stinking of weed so they make mine stink of weed instead. Completely unfair.

She swore at me to "close my fucking windows then" but would have seen red if I'd told her to get some effing ear plugs.

The flat is boiling hot and I have to have to have the windows open, why shouldn't I?

Also the music (something I've never once done myself) until 12-1.30am in the morning. It's not on.

Loud domestics, shouting, hitting one another.

Atleast I own our shortcomings and am apologetic. They are total hypocrites.

It's absolute chaos down there tonight, they've got a load of people round drinking or whatever else they do. Music on. Shreiking. Slamming doors. Several of them are standing around the communal entrance with joints, her flat is next to it. The 5yo (who she said needs silence after 8pm as he goes to bed) is up and keeps crying his eyes out. She's ushering him back to his room saying "it's OK nothing happened go in there" then carries on with her mates and leaves him crying.

Sorry. Using this thread as an outlet as I feel quite vulnerable in here on my own with the kids. You never know what people will do when they're off their rockers and an idea gets into their head and what the fuck are they playing at. That poor little boy 😞

That sounds horrible, OP. Since you have the police involved already I would call them and ask them to come round just now given it is antisocial hours and there is a child in the flat.

And just reiterate that you don't want them to come to your door.**

I did move and am very lucky with my neighbours now. One side smokes weed but I personally couldn’t care less, if it’s too much I just close the window. The other has young children who play, laugh and shout etc but it’s normal kid noise, again totally fine. What was horrific was having children banging, stomping, screaming, throwing things living in the flat above me. So yes that is why I sympathised with the neighbour. (Although they sound like a nightmare also now)

To be honest from your update they do sound out of control and you should just call the police.

I'm strongly considering it, just worried about the reprisals as they'll know it's come from me. I'm not buying her "training to be a nurse" claim anymore, surely no prospective nurse would behave like that would they?

I'm sorry you had that experience of noisy neighbours. Truly. I don't doubt it was a massive pain in the arse and i feel your pain right now as all i want to do is sleep. I'm trying so hard to be as quiet as I can in here and have spent more than I can comfortably afford on rugs and sound proofing mats. Not all noisy neighbours are selfish and don't care.

You are being very thoughtful, and I am sure you will make it work. We are in a flat and can hear music and tv on one side, a man who sounds like he has concrete feet downstairs and does line dancing at midnight, and a barking dog next door. I am afraid it comes with flat living. My mum (no longer here sadly) volunteered for the police and all of her calls were about noise complaints. It is city living I am afraid. Best wishes in your new home.