My day versus his day

[Spiderplantweb]

My day-
alarm goes off at 7, I get straight up get ready take the dogs out at 7:30, back at 8:30, feed the dogs water, put kettle on, unload the dishwasher, have breakfast. Go upstairs make beds
9:00 start work at my £85k a year job.
12:30 take dogs out, put hoover round and grab lunch.
1:30 get back to work. Pay a few bills and organise shopping delivery.
6:00 he comes home, we take dogs out. I cook dinner load dishwasher, feed dogs, wipe round kitchen.
8:00 we sit down to watch tv

his day

7:00 gets woken up by my alarm, tools over goes back to sleep until 8:15.
8:30 gets out of bed, gets ready to go to work
9:00 leaves house for £28k a year job he loves
17:00 comes back home and sits down to watch tv until I am ready to go out.
1800 accompanies me on the evening walk and then watches tv until dinner is ready
1930 joins me for dinner and then goes back to watch TV.

Im an absolute bloody mug aren’t I.

I have read all your posts but not the replies of others, but it seems like you've had lots of YABU. Fuck. That.

He sounds like a lazy cocklodger and i can't believe you've had nasty replies to this.

You don't owe him a relationship. And you don't need any other reason to leave besides "this isn't making me happy any more". Anyone giving you grief for this is unreasonable and lacking in empathy. You aren't happy and you don't love this man. The end. You don't need to convince anyone, you don't owe any explanations. You get one life, and you deserve to live yours without the burden of being in a relationship where you feel sad and disrespected daily

this poster sums it up perfectly.

"I’m not saying my job is tough, I just wanted to show that when it comes to mortgage and bills I am paying the bulk, so he lives in a house and has a lifestyle that is well outside of his reach, but I could sustain without him."

A man would have been murdered on the spot for saying such things 😆

As for people saying why mention the salary disparity and money / salary doesnt matter - it does. I wish i'd realised it sooner.

@thatladdo would a man have been murdered if he said "my lazy girlfriend enjoys living at my expense, does fuck all around the house and is going to be gutted when I financially cut her off. I'm going to do it, but am feeling guilty about it, is that wrong?" 😂

@Spiderplantweb l am flabbergasted at the amount of posters who keep commenting about your salary and how you have it easy!

At the moment you don’t have children so life is more simple (as it should be).

l am appalled that he goes on weekends away, is now considering going part time and doesn’t share any of the drudge!

You need to pull up those big girl pants and pull that plaster off ASAP.

Do not feel guilty. Do not put this off because you will lose friends. Stop putting your own happiness last to facilitate a man child. You are not his mother!

Like the other billions of adults on this planet he will just have to work it out, but that is not your problem.

Remember life is not a dress rehearsal.

It’s rare that the woman would sit around and do zero housework or help out with anything though isn’t it? It’s even rarely 50:50 even with both working full time so irrelevant post.

Whether or not the salaries are relevant he is taking the absolute piss. He's pretty much living the lifestyle he wants because she funds the majority of it. The necessities he can afford on his wage but the lifestyle he wants and has become used to won't be possible without his mrs. I suspect the breakup will mostly bother him because she will no longer fund his weekends away and impressing his mates in the pub at her expense. Clearly shes not happy otherwise she wouldn't have vented here on this page and would like some advice or maybe even some supportive words from an outside point of view knowing full well that once she leaves him he will probably try to turn their friends against her by giving them the impression that shes fucked him over for a vote of sympathy. The man sounds selfish. Yes he works but so does she and he should be doing a fair share of helping around the house and with the dogs he so proudly states are his whilst doing nothing to contribute to their daily feeding and exercise routine. OP don't feel guilty he's brought this upon himself by adding insult to injury in suggesting he works even less hours meaning he will contribute less financially feeling entitled to do so just because he feels you can financially support him off your own wages. Jeez you're not even married and he wants to live off you. Honestly i don't blame you for wanting to kick him out of your life and end the relationship

Your day seems very nice to me 🤷🏻‍♀️ a lot easier than most . IMO you’re making a big deal out of nothing .

Again and again!
So you think it’s fine for the OP to do all the housework, all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, washing etc. And the man doesn’t lift a finger? Yet they both work full time.

What is wrong with people on this thread?

He works full time out of the house . She works from home so it’s easier to do the odd job. It doesn’t sound like there are many jobs to do. He goes for a walk with her in the evening . Many things were missed out of the first post which is the one I responded to. She obviously doesn’t love him and doesn’t want to be with him .

Huh?

l assume that you haven’t bothered to read any of the OP’s posts then? She works full time also, but then is expected to do all the household chores/cooking and then pay all the bills!

The op is child free but has a dead free loading weight of hopefully a soon to be ex.

So because he travels to work (which is ten minutes away if l remember) and she works from home she should do everything then?

She has asked him to step up and he’s ignored it. He doesn’t care and that is why she no longer has love or respect for him. IMO I couldn’t fancy a man that behaved like a child and wanted to reduce his hours at work because life is comfortable because she contributes more financially.

Salaries are irrelevant, and both your days sounds very chilled and low key. I really wouldn’t be moaning

The odd job? Are you an actual adult? If he does zero then she is left with everything else to do in the house - that’s cleaning every room including bathrooms, that’s cooking every single meal, and clearing up after every meal. That’s washing all their clothes and ironing them all and then putting them all away. That’s doing all the admin related to the house.

She didn’t list everything because it’s pretty obvious that if he does nothing she does it all. And the small things add up - the fact that he can’t even help her out by noticing things that need to be done, like top up the dogs water bowl, make a bed, pick up a cup and put it in the dishwasher. He does nothing. That’s not ok.

Please read my last post to you.

“Many things were missed out of the first post which is the one I responded to”.

The things she listed were very small
things on work days - she later drip fed the rest of the things he doesn’t do and admitted that she doesn’t love him and is ready to leave him . I gave my opinion on the original post and I stand by it with only that information initially .

She asked for opinions - I gave mine (which by the way is the whole point of this . You have your opinion , I have mine . Leave it at that .

You do know you can press ‘see all’ so you can see the OP’s subsequent posts? It saves you making a fool of yourself by crashing into a lengthy thread with irrelevant opinions previously addressed.

Haylemj……. Are you deliberately missing the point here? Because the OP has an easier life (on the surface anyway) than you do?!💁

OP, it is tough but you need to find the strength to split up. I know it is difficult when by some people’s lights (see many posters on this thread) your DP’s behaviour should be tolerated. I don’t underestimate how difficult it will be and how judged you may be. But this is your one precious life and you deserve better. Don’t be like the doormats in this thread, have a sense of self worth and expect more from your life partner. Ignore the people who try to drag you back to their level - friends worth having will understand.

By the sound of it you seem to have missed out the part you moan and complain to him about his smaller salary…

Honest to God, it says a lot more about the posters who focused on the salary difference than it does the OP.

She mentions it because in addition to him doing nothing around the house her income is largely what funds his lifestyle and he wants her to fund him more.

It's like a battle for the worst, most bottom feeding response and a race to see who can post the most obviously useless reply.

It really does - the level of sheer stupidity (and jealousy) on here is astounding.

Do you, for one minute, imagine that if he pulled his weight in every other way, his salary would be a concern to the OP?

I think a lot of these ludicrous posts are not down to stupidity and jealousy but people simply coming on here to be as mean and awful as they possibly can.
I still can't get over the fact people are on here berating this OP for wanting rid of this useless fuck who contributes absolutely nothing and on the thread about the pregnant woman with a useless fucker posters are berating her for getting pregnant to a waste of space who can't (won't) load a dishwasher while the OP is struggling with pregnancy and a heart problem and fainting spells. This OP's useless fucker will turn into the other OP's useless fucker if she were to stay with him and have a child with him. Then she'd be back on here asking for advice and posters would be saying "Well, why did you get pregnant to him?" MN has had to close that other thread to comments because there were just too many vile people having a go at the OP.

MN is no longer fit for purpose. It just seems to be full of people who get a kick out of being as obnoxious as possible to the OP, no matter what they are posting about, and giving "advice" and "tough love" which is absolutely ridiculous and makes no sense whatsoever.

I cannot believe the crazy in so many of these posts! It sounds like you know what you want to do and it definitely sounds like the right move. Hopefully your friends are slightly more reasonable than all the jealous hags on here, and if not do you seriously want to keep people in your life that would jump straight to you being a bitch on his word?

Yes I agree with you. It’s no longer fit for purpose judging by the replies on this thread.

Yes, it's a real shame that people get blinded by their own jealousy and the problems in their own lives and can't be objective and supportive when someone needs help with leaving their useless partner.