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Original poster

My day versus his day

1000 replies

Spiderplantweb · 05/04/2023 10:42

My day-
alarm goes off at 7, I get straight up get ready take the dogs out at 7:30, back at 8:30, feed the dogs water, put kettle on, unload the dishwasher, have breakfast. Go upstairs make beds
9:00 start work at my £85k a year job.
12:30 take dogs out, put hoover round and grab lunch.
1:30 get back to work. Pay a few bills and organise shopping delivery.
6:00 he comes home, we take dogs out. I cook dinner load dishwasher, feed dogs, wipe round kitchen.
8:00 we sit down to watch tv

his day

7:00 gets woken up by my alarm, tools over goes back to sleep until 8:15.
8:30 gets out of bed, gets ready to go to work
9:00 leaves house for £28k a year job he loves
17:00 comes back home and sits down to watch tv until I am ready to go out.
1800 accompanies me on the evening walk and then watches tv until dinner is ready
1930 joins me for dinner and then goes back to watch TV.

Im an absolute bloody mug aren’t I.

OP posts:
Issania87 · 08/04/2023 17:51

Completely understand where you are coming from, you shouldn't worry about what things look like. Respect goes a long way and his complete disregard for you is a lack of respect. You are partner not his parent.

Ignore everyone else on here who took an immediate dislike to what you were saying because you dared to work hard to get a well paid job. Best of luck 🙂

HomeTheatreSystem · 08/04/2023 18:13

YANBU: he is lazy. You want kids but he's shown he's not suitable supportive partner material. Nothing will kill love and desire faster than the realisation that your OH is actually a giant man baby. It's not as if he earns enough to pay someone to pick up the slack on his domestic shortcomings. Cannot believe the cheek of him thinking to go part time because he can, thanks to you.

Count your blessings here: you are at least not married to this waste of space and cutting ties will be quicker and less messy. As for anyone who berates you for dumping him, tell them you're actually setting him free to find someone who would love to mother him.

Best of luck !

Issania87 · 08/04/2023 19:10

On what planet would that be an ok scenario? And the OP never said she wanted to treat her partner like some form of housekeeper. She just expects him to pull his weight.

Pheefifofuckthisshit · 08/04/2023 20:22

OP I can't believe you've had stick on this thread. I'm glad you've sought legal advice on splitting and hope you get that done soon and can have a mocer life without having to be mother and maid and financer to a grown man. Be thankful you were wise enough to not marry or have kids with this lazy manchild!

IAmTheWalrus85 · 08/04/2023 21:12

Twentyfirstcenturymumma · 08/04/2023 12:42

'Some of us do earn that salary but don’t think that earning £28k makes you worthless in comparison.'

Exactly.

No one, in hundreds of posts, has said that they think his salary makes him worthless.

But lots of people do think that doing absolutely nothing round the house while living a comfortable life at OP’s expense and looking for ways he can do even less work (ie going part time) make him worthless.

OrchardBlack · 08/04/2023 21:25

Christ I wish I had your life.

MeridaBrave · 08/04/2023 21:42

Why doesn’t he make dinner or walk the dogs before work? Not sure the salary is relevant but if both working full time why are you doing more? Even walking the dogs whilst you make dinner? Why have you facilitated this?

Quartz2208 · 08/04/2023 21:45

OrchardBlack · 08/04/2023 21:25

Christ I wish I had your life.

yes the OP is successful in her own right and that is an achievement she has done on her own.

it doesn’t ran she should be saddled with a man who br8ngs her down just because she has built success

Nanny0gg · 08/04/2023 21:46

OrchardBlack · 08/04/2023 21:25

Christ I wish I had your life.

Christ, I wish people RTFT and understood what the point of it was...

HomeTheatreSystem · 08/04/2023 22:04

@MeridaBrave
Did you miss this post of OP's?? She has tried. There is no negotiating with someone who doesn't give a shit.

ive tried asking him to do things, I’ve tried telling him doing everything makes me unhappy. I’ve been in tears so many times because I feel like a maid. I’ve told him I am frustrated that our beautiful home is left looking like a tip if I go
away for a few days. He doesn’t change. He has told me that he just doesn’t see the mess and if I want it cleaned I need to point it out. I tried pointing it out for three years, it made me feel like a nag. I tried not pointing it out, it made me depressed that I was cleaning everything. I tried not doing it either and the house descended into squallor.
we’ve had adult conversations, rows, ultimatums. Basically he doesn’t care, if I want a clean house, then I can tidy it, because it isn’t something he values or cares about. I don’t really know how that means he doesn’t have to cook either because he’s got to eat, but he doesn’t care

MeridaBrave · 08/04/2023 22:24

HomeTheatreSystem · 08/04/2023 22:04

@MeridaBrave
Did you miss this post of OP's?? She has tried. There is no negotiating with someone who doesn't give a shit.

ive tried asking him to do things, I’ve tried telling him doing everything makes me unhappy. I’ve been in tears so many times because I feel like a maid. I’ve told him I am frustrated that our beautiful home is left looking like a tip if I go
away for a few days. He doesn’t change. He has told me that he just doesn’t see the mess and if I want it cleaned I need to point it out. I tried pointing it out for three years, it made me feel like a nag. I tried not pointing it out, it made me depressed that I was cleaning everything. I tried not doing it either and the house descended into squallor.
we’ve had adult conversations, rows, ultimatums. Basically he doesn’t care, if I want a clean house, then I can tidy it, because it isn’t something he values or cares about. I don’t really know how that means he doesn’t have to cook either because he’s got to eat, but he doesn’t care

No I didn't read every post.

In that case if he doesn't care and won't contribute his time - then the conclusion is that that's the way he is and the only change is to leave him.

Tessabelle74 · 08/04/2023 23:35

OrchardBlack · 08/04/2023 21:25

Christ I wish I had your life.

You'd want a useless partner that is happy to put his feet up whilst you do everything around the house? That has expensive hobbies YOU pay for? That wants to drop his hours to get more free time at YOUR expense? Luckily for you he's going to be available soon, I'm sure OP will pass on his phone number when she's out the door

LadyAddle · 09/04/2023 00:21

Apart from all his other failings, he sounds incredibly boring. I hope you find a new partner much more interesting than this sloth you're currently lumbered with.

Cacla · 09/04/2023 07:56

How is salary relevant? Sounds like you think you're better than him because you earn more 🙄

Antiquiteas · 09/04/2023 08:07

Cacla · 09/04/2023 07:56

How is salary relevant? Sounds like you think you're better than him because you earn more 🙄

She is better than him. But in every way.

Helenloveslee4eva · 09/04/2023 08:13

Do you resent the dogs ? Sounds like it

Rosula · 09/04/2023 08:42

Helenloveslee4eva · 09/04/2023 08:13

Do you resent the dogs ? Sounds like it

If you had read OP's posts, you would see that it's clear that she doesn't.

Tessabelle74 · 09/04/2023 08:43

Helenloveslee4eva · 09/04/2023 08:13

Do you resent the dogs ? Sounds like it

If you'd read all OP's posts you'd see she loves the dogs very much and has specifically got a job WFH so she could get them. She resents him saying that they're THEIR dogs when he does zero with them

Novum · 09/04/2023 08:49

zingally · 08/04/2023 12:07

Yawn, another MN self-appointed police officer of internet ettiquette.

You... know how the internet works? Right?

Show quote history

God forbid that anyone should suggest how you could save yourself time by not posting something totally irrelevant to the thread.

Densol57 · 09/04/2023 09:57

Hope you are ok OP
Im hoping you can get rid of this waste of space very soon as enjoy your OWN life

sst1234 · 09/04/2023 10:06

Well, she is. She’s literally worth more because she earns more and has greater life skills.

sst1234 · 09/04/2023 10:09

Are people deliberately thick or is it a condition they struggle to hide. The amount of idiotic comments here.

OP thinks she’s worth more.

Wishing they had her life - with a lazy partner.

Thinking she hates the dogs.

There should be some kind of entry level test before you are allowed to post.

zingally · 09/04/2023 10:36

Rosula · 08/04/2023 16:32

You haven't even managed to read that post properly, have you? Because there is nothing about it that can sensibly be read as policing etiquette. It's simply making the point that when you post without reading OP's posts, it's a waste of your time and risks making you look just a bit silly. But, by all means, if you're happy to look silly, crack on. I'm sure you won't complain when someone points it out, because of course you don't want to look as if you're trying to police the internet, do you?

Show quote history

tldr

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 09/04/2023 10:52

sst1234 · 09/04/2023 10:09

Are people deliberately thick or is it a condition they struggle to hide. The amount of idiotic comments here.

OP thinks she’s worth more.

Wishing they had her life - with a lazy partner.

Thinking she hates the dogs.

There should be some kind of entry level test before you are allowed to post.

MNHQ please take up this suggestion!! 😂

ReallyTryingTo · 09/04/2023 11:17

Just read on your further comments OP. You have a child, not a partner. He enjoys the life you have together but that's not even because he's pulling his weight. He's literally doing the minimum. If he was doing all the little things and some chores, you'd feel a lot different about him but he's never going to change.

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