To think this is so cheeky?

[WillowtreeHouse]

I'm on a group chat for a running group. There are around 10 of us on this group but people dip in and out depending on job/life etc. Sometimes new people join the group, some leave, and we go out for dinner about once every 4 months or so and it's a nice way for everyone to get together (if they want). Sometimes there are 10 people there, sometimes 2 it just depends on how busy people are. Any one of us will suggest getting together, no one is 'in charge' of the group.

Last night I posted a message to see if anyone fancied meeting up for dinner/drinks next week. A couple of people replied 'sure, what about the new Chinese etc' and a few more people responded with a yes, some with a no, the usual stuff.

One woman, who I've only met once because she joined a month ago and we've never run at the same time since, (the group meet twice a week, I always try to make one of them) said 'I can't afford dinner out, let's just go to Willow's since she suggested the get together'.

I don't want to host 7 people at my house on a Wednesday night. I didn't invite everyone to mine and the fact that she said she can't afford it suggests that she expects me to pay for everything - which I would if I invited people round, but I haven't. I fancied paying £15 for the Chinese buffet and being home by half nine!

Another member said we always just meet for dinner somewhere, it's easier for everyone that way. To which she has responded with a snippy 'if you invite, you host'.

I haven't responded yet - I will - but I absolutely do not want to host. I just think this is really fucking rude?

She sounds like a right cheeky moo. If you really want to annoy her just ignore it. Just talk around her without even acknowledging her messages. She’s clearly the type who likes to waltz in and take over, and the group continuing as usual without devoting lots of energy to placating her will piss her right off. If she bitches about you ignoring her, you could just say that you didn’t want to embarrass her.

As your next message, just send ‘ok, meet at Chinese weds 7pm. Buffet is £15 each. Let me know by Friday so I can book the table.’

Let us know what she says!

Yes. This ^ 👌
CF....

Or reframe with "I'm planning to go to the Chinese on X date at X time. Does anyone want to meet there and share a table? Obviously pay your own way as usual"

Or directly address it with a laughing emoji and a direct "that's not how this group works". She can leave or you can kick her put, you dont need to change the dynamics and clearly noone else wants to either.

She most be on here. Next thing you know she’ll be telling everyone everything is a first world problem. Sour cow.

This...

I'd add...

Ha ha, no!

This group goes out to eat regularly - shall we say 7 at thr Chinese (as usual?) , everyone?

"Haha nope, shall we say 7 at the Chinese?"

I would respond publicly to her that there’s no official organising people just suggest meeting up. We meet for drinks or dinner out not at our houses. Everyone pays for themselves. No problem if you can’t make it sometimes we have lots sometimes just a few people.
It’s kinder to point out social rules. She might be a cf, she might be socially inept.

I'm dying to know what she says to that OP

I think the beauty of not acknowledging the fact she asked you to host and just push on with the plans for eating out is that it’s such a ridiculous suggestion it doesn’t deserve a response. And that will shut her down.

She wants to guilt you in to hosting (completely out of order but this is where she’s coming from).

She wants you to squirm and apologise and say ‘sorry I can’t host’. But you don’t have to. You ignore the bizarre request - everyone on the group has seen her for what she is. She looks stupid and you crack on with plans as they are usually done. Don’t get in to a conversation with her. That is what shuts her down. Non engagement!

Wow. This is premium grade cheeky fuckery.

Thank you so much for sharing.

Cheeky indeed. I wouldn't bother saying that's not how this group works again. Someone already told her that and she clearly didn't care.

"Table booked on X at X for X people. If anyone else can make it, let me know by X and I'll adjust the booking. Looking forward to it."

Actually, this is the best idea by far!

You will have to make her feel like the new girl because she tried to change the rules of the group. She's only been there 5 minutes and is already dictating where to go for dinner. Shut this down now before she makes herself the qeen bee.

This is amazing, what a prick. Imagine having 8 people in your house on a weds night, hahaha.
15 quid buffet, bra off by half 9 👍👍👍

Just reply with a laughing emoji 🤣

Love to know what her reply is !!

Maybe she is a bit thick but that's not how anything works is it ? Unless that's what she does in her family and thinks that's somehow how the world works too !🙄🙄

You've got a CF in your group OP, be aware and take necessary action immediately to prevent future CFery.

What’s the bet this woman doesn’t drive and will start cadging lifts with any willing male….

Did she reply to your follow up message? Hopefully not and she’s got the hint. Just carry on with the arrangements, ignoring her.

Unbelievable CFuckery, what are some people on?
😂😂

😂

God, I hope that CF is on here and sees this thread.

This.

Also, however you reply, do not include the word "sorry". Such a CF.