NC and minor age change for privacy.
I (21F) am getting married to my fiancé (22M) in 3 months time (yes we are young but have been dating since I was 15 and we are very much in love.
For context: I have 5 older brothers - 34, 32, 26, 24, 23.
My mum died when I was 7 and my eldest 2 brothers (20, 18 at the time) essentially became my surrogate parents.
My eldest brother literally dropped out of uni to look after us as my dad couldn't. It was my brothers who did my homework with me, made my dinner, showered me, baked cakes for school, signed my school forms, took me prom dress shopping, volunteered for school trips. In every essence they where my dads.
Yes my dad still had a job and provided for us monetarily but he would disappear for months on end and I never had a proper relationship with him. (My 2 eldest bros also got jobs at 18 and 20 to provide for us). At one point when I was 11-12 I would only see him every 6 months or so for a few hours.
My fiancé even asked my oldest brother for permission to marry me.
Anyway, recently I asked my two oldest brothers to walk me down the isle, one on each arm. When my dad heard he was very angry and wanted to be the one (I should add my relationship with him in the last 2 years has been much better). But to me my brothers raised me.
Some of my family agree with me and some with my dad. My 2 brothers said they would love too but if my dad was going to cause a scene they would let him do it as to not ruin our day.
My dad did come up with a compromise - him and my eldest brother would walk me down the isle. But I want to keep my 2 brothers even if I end up having a falling out and said I could do the first father daughter dance with him (the 2nd I planned on dancing with each of my brothers throughout the one song).
What should I do?
YABU - Let your dad and eldest bro walk you down the isle.
YANBU - Your 2 brothers should walk you down the isle. Dad can have the 1st dance.