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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband being a cock!!

233 replies

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 21:44

Was driving my 14yo son back from his weekend away and we went over a hidden pothole in the road which ripped a massive hole in my front offside tyre. I pulled over into a carpark and immediately assessed the damage and tried to connect to my breakdown and recovery app. Signal was patchy so I stayed with the car and asked my son to go along the road a bit to see if he could get some signal and call DHto tell him the tyre was torn and to ask him to contact recovery for me and explain the issue. DS said DH was sighing and grumbling and getting snappy, then said “go back to the car.” DS said he was being really off and he didn’t know if DH was calling breakdown or not, so I went along the road myself, found some signal and booked the recovery. I pay for fully comp platinum service so I know they have to get me home and then the vehicle somewhere to be repaired. I texted my husband to let him know I booked it

Fifteen minutes later, my DH pulls into the car park, gets out of his car with an air compressor, doesn’t say hello or anything and dives for my front wheel and attaches it to my tyre. The air pisses out of the massive tear. I said “What are you doing? That won’t work, there’s a tear in it.” He said, "yeah, I know- come here and look.” Well, I don’t need to look, I’ve already seen it haven’t I? Anyway, I do look and say “yes, I know. There’s a huge water filled pothole on the road. It looks like a little puddle.” He gave me a contemptuous look and said “I don’t know why you even drove this way.” I replied, "I don't even know what to say to that." Apparently he would have gone an alternate route and taken the car safely home, but I, with my obvious inferiority, chose a suboptimal route which was, according to google maps “two minutes slower.” 😑
Telling him that he could have been rear ended on his hypothetical better journey, could have hit a car, an animal or come across any number of incidents didn’t seem to compute. He's simply too good of a driver.

The breakdown man arrived. My husband pipes up with, “he’ll have to tow you, he won’t have a spare.” I replied that I wasn’t sure what would happen but it was ok. Because of what I pay for, I wasn’t bothered how it was done, I just knew it would be. But straight away he said to the guy, "you haven’t got a spare have you? No. See, I told you!” All smug like his penis gives him super foresight as well as route planning perfection. Then the guy said, "I do have a spare wheel though which will fit.” Husband went a bit quiet, I said, "aha, that’s perfect!” DH STRODE towards his car saying, "yeah, you’re all smug now so I’m going home.”

I replied, "Oh, ok, I don’t really know why you came though.” Because I didn’t! He left two kids (15yo and 7yo) at home to check if my assessment of a torn tyre was accurate. He zoomed out of that carpark.

It was so embarrassing! The repair guy said it looked like my husband didn’t believe I knew what had happened and said that regularly he sees blokes who think their wives have fucked up when stuff like this happens to them, but when it happens to the man, they’re blameless.

We got home, the car got to the garage. Exactly the service I pay for. As expected. I asked my husband why the hell he behaved like that and he said “I drove all that way to help you and you acted like you didn’t need my help. It was like a slap in the face!”

WHAT? Because I used the professional service I pay for to solve a problem he had no way of solving? AND told him in advance that I had done so? I told him I didn’t think he had come to help, he came to crow/whinge about how inept I am and how I have caused such a problem. He went on to say about how much money it’s going to cost for a new tyre when we just bought some. I asked what all this “we” business was about. I paid for the tyres, I pay for the servicing, the insurance, the recovery and breakdown, the MOT, the excesses and I will also be paying for this as he well knows, so he’s got nothing to be so pressed about!!

He had a good long session of sulking upstairs. It’s our son’s birthday tomorrow and my husband is meant to be helping me clean ahead of company arriving tomorrow and put up banners. He was literally sulking because he doesn’t like me ”going on at him^'" I just went up to ask him to come and do something to assist and he's fast asleep under the blankets.

Aibu to be boiling fucking mad??^

OP posts:
Original poster
Sweeted · 03/04/2023 06:57

GobbieMaggie · 03/04/2023 06:52

Do you have a short version of that ?

No, but I can recommend some lovely 'Biff, Chip and Kipper' books for you and a bright packet of wax crayons. Have a super fun day!

OP posts:
YRGAM · 03/04/2023 06:57

I think with men like this the way forward is to make it into a joke - rather than get annoyed about him acting like a dick, 'take the W' as they say these days, and mercilessly take the piss about him getting shut down by the repairman and then sulking about it. I think if you take it down that route you're more likely to get him to realise how ridiculous he is being and avoid a repeat in future

ScreamingInfidelities · 03/04/2023 07:00

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:15

If you look at the User Manual OP (which should be in your glove box) then you'll find where your spare wheel is kept, having a 7-seater doesn't mean you don't have a spare, it's probably underneath the body you dafty.

My last cars haven’t had spares, just the puncture repair stuff.

So it’s actually you that’s the dafty.

ScreamingInfidelities · 03/04/2023 07:00

*last 3 cars

Sierra26 · 03/04/2023 07:02

This would have annoyed me too! Sounds like he was trying to be a martyr and was disappointed when he couldn’t be

nomoremerlot · 03/04/2023 07:07

Sierra26 · 03/04/2023 07:02

This would have annoyed me too! Sounds like he was trying to be a martyr and was disappointed when he couldn’t be

Same here! Not had a spare for years! Just the useless foam stuff!

GordanoBenito · 03/04/2023 07:10

@Ktime "The foreskin of foresight" needs to become a ubiquitous MN phrase for all examples of this kind of behaviour!

Harrypewter · 03/04/2023 07:15

What he should've done was ask if everyone was ok, if he was needed. If not let you deal with it.

FawnFrenchieMum · 03/04/2023 07:17

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:15

If you look at the User Manual OP (which should be in your glove box) then you'll find where your spare wheel is kept, having a 7-seater doesn't mean you don't have a spare, it's probably underneath the body you dafty.

No always, many new cars only have foam to inflate a flat tyre (not helpful with a rip) and no spare. ‘Dafty’

Original poster
Sweeted · 03/04/2023 07:18

YRGAM · 03/04/2023 06:57

I think with men like this the way forward is to make it into a joke - rather than get annoyed about him acting like a dick, 'take the W' as they say these days, and mercilessly take the piss about him getting shut down by the repairman and then sulking about it. I think if you take it down that route you're more likely to get him to realise how ridiculous he is being and avoid a repeat in future

My husband would quite literally never move past it if I damaged his ego further by taking the piss out of something that already embarrassed and bruised him. He would be living his life on the precipice of a strop at all times. I will not invite more of that kind of nonsense into my home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sweeted · 03/04/2023 07:19

I love the foreskin of foresight. The term, not the assumed superiority and psychic ability that soft little pissfold supposedly gives.

OP posts:
EmilyGilmoresSass · 03/04/2023 07:23

I don't understand why you used italics, as they don't seem to even be highlighting things that are significant important.

Original poster
Sweeted · 03/04/2023 07:24

ScreamingInfidelities · 03/04/2023 07:00

*last 3 cars

It's whimsical as fuck, isn't it?

Look in your user manual (which should be in your glove box, along with your supple leather driving gloves, your spare compact mirror and a fetching headscarf for those windy days) and it will tell you where the spare is located. Your daft little head is probably full of lace and perfectly risen dough so you've not noticed a huge spare wheel in your automobile. But I am a modern woman and know that all cars have a spare and they're located SOMEWHERE about the body of the vehicle. If you had enough driving experience, you would know this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sweeted · 03/04/2023 07:25

EmilyGilmoresSass · 03/04/2023 07:23

I don't understand why you used italics, as they don't seem to even be highlighting things that are significant important.

No, they don't, do they? I invite you to have a look at my first few comments on this thread. It should clear this confusion up for you.

OP posts:
Ariela · 03/04/2023 07:27

@Sweeted
The final thing you must do is report the pothole to the Council so it's repaired. Otherwise when your DH rips his car tyre on the same pothole 3 weeks later you know it'll be your fault.

RedHelenB · 03/04/2023 07:28

Devoutspoken · 02/04/2023 21:50

Next time do not involve dh

This. If you're so perfect with your recovery options why involve him at all? Actually sounds as though he was right, the car wasn't fixed at the roadside if its at the garage now?

Ariela · 03/04/2023 07:28

@Sweeted Meant to add if it has already been reported but not repaired you may well have a claim against the Council for a new tyre.

OllyBJolly · 03/04/2023 07:31

That's an entertaining story- thanks, OP. And yes - he's a dick.

UniversalMamma · 03/04/2023 07:33

Foreskinsight 😂

Raindancer411 · 03/04/2023 07:34

@Sweeted I can definitely agree with you not all cars have spares. Neither mine or my husbands do, we have the cans of spray and that is all...

Hope his mood improved and glad the car was sorted in the end.

Devoutspoken · 03/04/2023 07:37

'Flounced off like a teenage girl having a tantrum ', is a diservice to teenage girls

nomoremerlot · 03/04/2023 07:37

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:15

If you look at the User Manual OP (which should be in your glove box) then you'll find where your spare wheel is kept, having a 7-seater doesn't mean you don't have a spare, it's probably underneath the body you dafty.

I think you're well and truly the dafty!

Not all cars have spare wheels, can you read and understand that?

Paulisexcluded · 03/04/2023 07:38

I enjoyed all the italics.

DeadbeatYoda · 03/04/2023 07:39

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:25

Why are there so many picky little wankers on here tonight? It's MY car. Yes, I have ovaries, but they've not scrambled my brain so much that I can't identify a spare wheel in or under my vehicle. Even if I was suffering from XX mania, XY mechanic didn't find a fucking spare either. Know why? Because there isn't one! Why did I call roadside assistance when my tyre was torn? Because I NEEDED IT. I'm sure some of you would have fused the tyre back together with the power of your almighty pith, but I only have GreenFlag,

😂 brilliant! Hats off to you OP for Keeping a sense of humour through some of this nonsense.

daisychain01 · 03/04/2023 07:42

Ariela · 03/04/2023 07:27

@Sweeted
The final thing you must do is report the pothole to the Council so it's repaired. Otherwise when your DH rips his car tyre on the same pothole 3 weeks later you know it'll be your fault.

No, no, no. The OPs DH's foreskin of foresight had already been working overtime and told him to always take the Alternative Route and avoid the pothole. He's the Perfect Man, dontcha know.