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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset DH won't let me read his diary?

302 replies

wonderingoff · 01/04/2023 23:24

DH has been keeping a diary that I wasn't even aware of for the last 3 weeks, so quite a new thing. Never once mentioned he was going to start doing that and definitely has avoided writing in it when I've been around as I've never seen it! Only realised when trying to find something on his bedside table early this morning. He woke up to me basically about to have a look what it was and he was really defensive and told me to put it back. Felt a bit like I was dealing with a teenager to be honest, did put it back and asked him what it is and he just said it's a diary and he's just been jotting some things that go around in his head too much and I asked him what they were and that he can talk to me if something is wrong and he just said he doesn't really want to and so I asked if I could read it and he said no.

I don't know, it all seems quite strange to me and like it's surely something else and if it isn't and it is just that, I'm a bit concerned he can't just talk to me about some of these apparent insignificant worries? So I guess there's 2 AIBUs... AIBU to think he's probably hiding something else? And AIBU to be upset he won't let me know what these worries are?

OP posts:
Theredtoyphone · 01/04/2023 23:26

YABVU.

BlueBunting · 01/04/2023 23:27

Sorry YABU to insist you read his diary, he’s trying something healthy and writing things down. He won’t write those things down if he feels someone will read them. Not telling you things is another issue and more information is needed.

FannyFifer · 01/04/2023 23:27

Wtf. No no you can't read it.

saraclara · 01/04/2023 23:28

Wow. I'd be incandescent with fury if anyone read my diary. How even DARE you?

MMMarmite · 01/04/2023 23:28

YABVU. Diaries are private, this is a massive invasion of privacy.

DannyZukosSmile · 01/04/2023 23:28

Really? Hmm Do you want to go through his phone too? Confused Of COURSE YABU!

Original poster
wonderingoff · 01/04/2023 23:28

I guess I wasn't implying I should be allowed to freely go through his things and I obviously wouldn't but I suppose I'm upset I can't know what those worries he writes down are... and was so secretive about it

OP posts:
PincesssPeachh · 01/04/2023 23:28

There’s surely no way you’re being serious?! Is this a reverse?

Domino20 · 01/04/2023 23:28

If it was really something awful then I'm sure he wouldn't be foolish enough to commit pen to paper and just leave it in his bedside drawer. Perhaps he's trying out writing down his worries so not to dwell during the night? Please don't read it.
Just incase you do, report back.

Original poster
wonderingoff · 01/04/2023 23:29

Ok I think I've come across wrong. I really didn't mean it in that way

OP posts:
coffy11 · 01/04/2023 23:29

It's none of your business what he wrote, he's allowed his privacy.

WhyCantYourPartnerDoIt · 01/04/2023 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JamSandle · 01/04/2023 23:29

I have a diary and would never let my partner read it and he wouldn't dare ask.

It's fine to have some privacy x

Xrays · 01/04/2023 23:29

You shouldn’t read it. Everyone is entitled to privacy even within a relationship. I don’t have anything to hide but I’d be upset if dh started going through my phone. Same thing.

BeeCucumber · 01/04/2023 23:29

No - you cannot read it. Or open his post. Or read his bank statements.

saraclara · 01/04/2023 23:29

Is it troll night? I can't believe that anyone thinks its okay to read someone's diary.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 01/04/2023 23:29

You are being massively unreasonable

It’s not all about you. The man is allowed to have private thoughts and he shouldn’t have to keep them all in his head just to keep them private!

DannyZukosSmile · 01/04/2023 23:29

One of the things he is probably writing is how he feels he has no privacy or 'me time' away from his wife!

704703hey · 01/04/2023 23:29

😯 Good grief woman, let him have some privacy to process his thoughts and emotions

Smoky1107 · 01/04/2023 23:29

Yabvu it's his diary

Sparklesocks · 01/04/2023 23:30

Oh come off it. Surely nobody is this obtuse.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 01/04/2023 23:30

wonderingoff · 01/04/2023 23:29

Ok I think I've come across wrong. I really didn't mean it in that way

What other way is there to come across across when you were literally going to read it without asling and are in a huff he won’t let you?

Original poster
wonderingoff · 01/04/2023 23:30

I didn't mean it like that!!!

I just meant if he has said it's his worries, I'm his wife and I am concerned and would like him to feel like he can tell me what they are. I felt like if he maybe didn't want to but obviously preferred to write them, maybe I could read it. I should probably have asked the question differently

OP posts:
Skyliner1 · 01/04/2023 23:30

Yabvu. I can't believe you were just going to read it. You might not have known he was writing a diary, but why would you be looking in it at all? And then to actually ask to read it once you know it's a diary?! And you're upset because he won't let you? So unreasonable.

L3ThirtySeven · 01/04/2023 23:30

YABVU
You don’t read someone’s diary! Have some respect. Privacy is a human right.

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