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AIBU?

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Original poster

Who is being unreasonable over flat tyre on car DD or DH

185 replies

Safarigiraffe · 01/04/2023 21:15

Hi DD19 came home with flat tyre after work today & husband wasn’t too happy about it & started shouting about it not at her but about the car having a flat tyre. Bit of background here - DD has paid 1700 this month from her wages/savings towards the car to pay it off & is also paying off her student finance. So DD didn’t think it was right for her to pay 100 pounds for the flat tyre but DH didn’t want to pay it as it isn’t his car even though DD is paying a lot of money towards the car to pay it off & student finance to pay that off as well. DH reluctantly paid the 100 pounds for the flat tyre but isn’t happy about it and both are not talking to the other as they both argued about it. So who is being more unreasonable & AIBU to keep out of it or just let them get on with it

OP posts:
ZeroWorshipHere · 03/04/2023 11:13

Megapint · 02/04/2023 14:45

It's on her to pay for repairs to her car. As for the 'It's insurance fraud brigade. In the real world this is how most families sort insurance for young/ new drivers.

Most people would have the child insure the car in the child’s name, with the child as the owner and main driver, then add the parent as a named driver. There’s nothing wrong with that, and adding an experienced named driver reduces the premium. Perfectly legal. Child then earns a no claim bonus as well.

That’s not what these people are doing.

FloydPepper · 03/04/2023 11:17

Safarigiraffe · 01/04/2023 21:17

DDs car she drives it but DH is main driver on it

Main driver for the insurance but it’s her car

so you’re insurance fronting then?

PetitPorpoise · 03/04/2023 11:17

She should pay. DH might have kindly offered, but I think her expectation that she shouldn't have to pay would have eroded my good will too.

The flat tyre is nobody's fault; it is expected upkeep of the car. The fact that it's been an expensive month is just bad luck.

Neededanewuserhandle · 03/04/2023 11:19

Safarigiraffe · 01/04/2023 21:29

DH does drive the car but DD drives car to work & back home only

Who drives it most?

Everyone is BU

FloydPepper · 03/04/2023 11:24

PlantagenetEmbassy · 02/04/2023 15:41

Ok I think you left a lot of pertinent facts out of your OP and this has led to people giving you bad advice.
Am I right in thinking that the car is registered in DH's name as he has outstanding finance on the car? And so he is fronting the car for DD on the insurance as well?

And she, wanting to get out of this situation (shituation) as quickly as possible is making MASSIVE overpayments every month to get shot of the finance, hence paying £1700 this month? And your DH, not content with taking most of your 19 year old daughter's salary for a car HE is responsible for paying for, now wants another £100 for a top-end tyre for HIS car that she might someday own if she ever stops getting robbed repaying to him?

Yeah I think your DH is being unfair. I bet you both insisted she had a nice shiny finance car instead of a cheap old banger as well didn't you? This sounds so controlling. Your poor DD.

Great example of a typical post that twists things and undergoes loads of mental gymnastics in order for it all to be the fault of the man.

Broadbeachshallow · 03/04/2023 11:46

Who's responsible? Impossible to say. What is dd's logic for dh owing the money? You haven't explained her argument.

I could see her point if this is a car dh has been driving for 7 years, tyres were old and then this one went, for example.

She's 19. Depends in your financial situation, but I'd be minded to pay £100 for a new tyre for a car she's using to get to work. She paid off the car. She's paying down the student debt. She's working. She sounds like a pretty sensible teenager.

Cars cost money and sometimes expenses come out of the blue. Good lesson for her to learn. But also nice to help out young adult dc if you can.

Neededanewuserhandle · 03/04/2023 11:56

Megapint · 02/04/2023 14:45

It's on her to pay for repairs to her car. As for the 'It's insurance fraud brigade. In the real world this is how most families sort insurance for young/ new drivers.

Utter bollocks

DontMakeMeShushYou · 03/04/2023 12:08

Broadbeachshallow · 03/04/2023 11:46

Who's responsible? Impossible to say. What is dd's logic for dh owing the money? You haven't explained her argument.

I could see her point if this is a car dh has been driving for 7 years, tyres were old and then this one went, for example.

She's 19. Depends in your financial situation, but I'd be minded to pay £100 for a new tyre for a car she's using to get to work. She paid off the car. She's paying down the student debt. She's working. She sounds like a pretty sensible teenager.

Cars cost money and sometimes expenses come out of the blue. Good lesson for her to learn. But also nice to help out young adult dc if you can.

I'd missed the stuff about student finance. I wonder why she needs to be paying back student finance at 19?

Broadbeachshallow · 03/04/2023 12:38

Dunno, @DontMakeMeShushYou

But it's in the OP: DD has paid 1700 this month from her wages/savings towards the car to pay it off & is also paying off her student finance.

ArcticSkewer · 03/04/2023 12:57

Maybe dropped out after a few months? I don't know if you start repayments straight after?

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