To have laid in to this old man?

[knobheadex]

Something happened to me yesterday and I've been stewing on it ever since.

It's 3pm and I'm on the way to pick up the kids from school. I nip in the the local garage because I'm slightly early and need to pick up a few things anyway.

It's pretty busy so I wait my turn in the queue. When I get to the front I ask the friendly young guy for some low nicotine e-liquid. As part of the chat I mention how I usually buy Elf Bars but I'm trying to quit vaping now. Suddenly I'm aware of someone behind me shouting something, so I spun round to see what's going on. There's a tall, rotund white haired man standing at the back of the queue booming 'They'll all kill your anyway, love!'

I reply that I'm aware it's not healthy and that's why I'm trying to quit before turning back to pay for my stuff and get the hell out of there. But he's still shouting 'I don't drink and I've never smoked! You know why??! Because I'm the boss of this!' And he proceeds to tap the side of his head. 'I can do anything I put my mind to!'

I say 'thank you very much for the unsolicited advice random man' and carry on with the transaction. But he won't shut up. He's really belittling me now and suggesting that I am weak willed and pathetic for being addicted to something. I'm done paying now and turn to leave and he's yelling at me that his wife has emphysema because she smoked 40 a day. I say loudly 'Now I feel doubly sorry for your wife' and march towards the door.

He's still going, although I'm not sure exactly what he's shouting about now but I'm raging by this point. Who does he think he is? Would he be saying all of this to a man buying cigarettes? So I get to the door and then shout back at him 'Can do anything apparently, but can't mind your own fucking business or put down the pies long enough to drop a few inches off that waistband of yours'.

A few people in the queue gasped and I left feeling like I'd gone too far. Did I? Or did he deserve it, just a little bit?

I think your answer was perfectly acceptable, I would have added fuck off as well.

Fully justified Op, I'd have clapped you If I was there.
And yer, he almost certainly wouldn't have done it to a man.

I would have just ignored him tbh.

well, he clearly isnt well, and you didn't really need to respond at all

He deserved it

I suspect that was a "bloody well done" kind of gasp! That's what I'd be thinking anyway. Well done for giving him a small taste of his own medicine.

He totally deserved it.

I'd would have ignored him from the off. Far more powerful and effective. By answering rudely you were both encouraging him to keep going and lowering yourself to his standards.

👌👏👏👏

I’d have probably just told him to mind his own fucking business but I think your response was so much better.

And I would have assumed he had mental health issues or was actually intoxicated.

Did everyone cheer?

You not only descended to his level you went below it.
There are ways of responding to men like this and making it very clear they are twats without making yourself look as bad as them

I think you went too far by insulting his appearance
Telling him if he could do anything but mind his own business was rather good though

I generally ignore people who annoy me. They hate to be ignored and get no reaction.

Maybe he is angry because he is scared of losing his wife but that's no reason to take it out on you. You weren't even talking to him!

I probably would have ignored him, but on the other hand, I know I am on a shorter fuse now since the pandemic and cost of living crisis etc, and I think many other people are too.

He’s probably fucked of with having his wife kill herself in front of him and now looking after her whilst she’s is slowly dying

dont take it personally he’s probably ranting out loud about smoking kills and you happened to be the one purchasing cigarettes. Sounds like his rant continued after you’d left

Why do people automatically try and diagnose people with mental health/medical issues - some people are just assholes, no diagnosis needed

I did wonder afterwards if he was pissed, or mentally unwell or something. But I'm so sick and tired of busy body men telling me what to do, his behaviour really got my back up. Why did he need to boom across the busy shop about how clean living he is and with such a brilliant mind? Why does he think I give a shit?
He generally had the air of someone who thinks he knows best and certainly a lot more than a silly little woman like me.

Best to just respond with

thanks for your input, I’ll take it on board

if they do have dementia you’re not being rude and if not it usually stumps them - if they do carry on repeat phrase

Like pp I know a few people who have dementia, MH issues, Neurological issues who would have carried on like that, so I would have ignored it. They can all still drive. I'd wonder what was going on for you that you had to engage.

This. Six of one and half dozen of the other. I’d have been appalled at the pair of you.

No. She wasn’t bullying him.

It would have probably been better to ignore him but I do appreciate her getting the ‘random man’ moment in.

People really should mind their own business in a public space, and not invade the space of others.