To have laid in to this old man?

[knobheadex]

Something happened to me yesterday and I've been stewing on it ever since.

It's 3pm and I'm on the way to pick up the kids from school. I nip in the the local garage because I'm slightly early and need to pick up a few things anyway.

It's pretty busy so I wait my turn in the queue. When I get to the front I ask the friendly young guy for some low nicotine e-liquid. As part of the chat I mention how I usually buy Elf Bars but I'm trying to quit vaping now. Suddenly I'm aware of someone behind me shouting something, so I spun round to see what's going on. There's a tall, rotund white haired man standing at the back of the queue booming 'They'll all kill your anyway, love!'

I reply that I'm aware it's not healthy and that's why I'm trying to quit before turning back to pay for my stuff and get the hell out of there. But he's still shouting 'I don't drink and I've never smoked! You know why??! Because I'm the boss of this!' And he proceeds to tap the side of his head. 'I can do anything I put my mind to!'

I say 'thank you very much for the unsolicited advice random man' and carry on with the transaction. But he won't shut up. He's really belittling me now and suggesting that I am weak willed and pathetic for being addicted to something. I'm done paying now and turn to leave and he's yelling at me that his wife has emphysema because she smoked 40 a day. I say loudly 'Now I feel doubly sorry for your wife' and march towards the door.

He's still going, although I'm not sure exactly what he's shouting about now but I'm raging by this point. Who does he think he is? Would he be saying all of this to a man buying cigarettes? So I get to the door and then shout back at him 'Can do anything apparently, but can't mind your own fucking business or put down the pies long enough to drop a few inches off that waistband of yours'.

A few people in the queue gasped and I left feeling like I'd gone too far. Did I? Or did he deserve it, just a little bit?

Best to ignore. He's probably mentally ill or just eccentric like a lot of older people seem to become. I have to deal with a lot of older people in my job and some of them are just frankly bizarre and very challenging.

Because I'm the boss of this!' And he proceeds to tap the side of his head
I like to think that had I been the op I would have responded by tapping the side of my head and then making a circular motion and pointing at him then walked off smirking.
Or maybe I would have gone full on 'geezer'
COME ON THEN GRANDAD DO YOU WANT SOME DO YOU WANT SOME??
How about looking at his wife and asking her if he's taken his medication today 🤣

That is exactly my point. She said enough with the original remark. She should have stopped there.

it was the final remark ( which you have omitted to quote because it doesn’t suit you ) that tipped this into just being rude and insulting.

The OP wants praise for sounding like a primary kid.

she didn’t get it from the onlookers, so is coming on here for support.

All the bystanders saw was a woman and man having an argument and trading personal insults. Sylvia Pankhurst would be so proud 🙄

I doubt very much the OP was ‘quick witted’ enough to think of that on the spot…🙄

I think you went too far. He also got a reaction out of you, which is probably what he wanted. And the fact that you're still stewing about it now shows that he really got under your skin.

Best to accept that there are some nosey twats in the world, who make themselves feel better by putting other people down. A simple and calm "I didn't ask for your advice, but thank you" would have shut him down quicker.

And that's not being nice to someone who's being a dick, it's not giving them the reaction that they want, or the headspace.

I’d have guessed the bystanders would have seen the whole interaction which was the man harassing and having a go at her. And if I was in that queue I’d have been ashamed of myself if I hadn’t come to her defence - now maybe I’d just have said ‘give it a rest’ but hopefully that would have been enough for him to see that people defend others who are being abused for no reason.

Just like if someone was racially abusing someone in public I’d call them out on that.

Yes the OP lost her temper and I don’t blame her. But it was obvious the man was laying in to her for no reason. That’s not an argument- that’s harassment and bullying.

it was the final remark ( which you have omitted to quote because it doesn’t suit you ) that tipped this into just being rude and insulting.

I was only pointing out what you yourself posted when you said would’ve been fine.

I have already said I didn’t agree with her ending comment on his weight upthread.

Agree.

She admitted that she had a problem and was trying to quit. If anything, that should have been the end of it. It would have been easy for him to simply say “good luck” and leave it that even though it was unnecessary for him to say anything in the first place.

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

Old scrubber? Now that's an insult I haven't heard for a very long time 😂

@Thesharkradar Or maybe I would have gone full on 'geezer'
COME ON THEN GRANDAD DO YOU WANT SOME DO YOU WANT SOME??

I don't know why but this has nearly brought me to tears laughing. I think it's partly OP's Pat Sharpe reference upthread as well (sorry, OP, I know you're going through it)

I’d have tapped the side of my head and said “my mind does control lots! Including what comes out if my mouth”.

I love your turn of phrase on your response to the man and your replies on here. I think we could be friends.

Yes you probably went too far but if it makes him think twice about laying into another woman in future then thank you for your service.

Very well done - great comeback. And no, he wouldn't have said that to another man.

I suspect the gasps were more of the "oh, I can't wait to tell Joan about the slanging match at the garage!" Than "what a nasty woman."

I don't know why but this has nearly brought me to tears laughing
@LadyWindermeresOnlyFans 😅

Your despicable fat shaming comment was far, far worse than anything he said. YABVVVVVVVVU

Honestly, I don't think you went too far. As I get older I'm getting less tolerant to people sticking their beak in.

Snap. Feels good, doesn't it?

I'd would have ignored him from the off. Far more powerful and effective

I'm not sure that's true. He'd probably think OP was being meek and put in her place

I totally get how this man was annoying, but I don't understand why it feels good to (presumably shout) comments to him about his weight? I would not stop cringing at my behaviour if I'd lowered myself down to that level, whether the recipient was male or female.

Silence is a very powerful response. It's worth trying. It frustrates people far more than entering into a slanging match with them.

Whereas now he’s going to tell everyone he meets about the gobby cow in the petrol station and they’ll all sympathise with him. Is that better?

I hope he goes home and tells his poor wife. She might get some pleasure in hearing about our encounter because I can imagine he's the type to have made her life a living hell for the last 40 years.

There is a picture of fish somewhere. A famous one. Sure we have all seen it.

Against a blue marine background a line of fish are hunting each other, smallest in the front to largest at the back. Mouths open, just about to consume each other.

I have an image of the OP and the Man in that line of fish. I am just not sure where OP or the Man are in the positioning. According to this thread, OP is eating the Man, but unaware OP is just about to be eaten by another bigger fish.

Ad infinitum.

It wasn't a Dali. Though he was my first thought.