To have laid in to this old man?

[knobheadex]

Something happened to me yesterday and I've been stewing on it ever since.

It's 3pm and I'm on the way to pick up the kids from school. I nip in the the local garage because I'm slightly early and need to pick up a few things anyway.

It's pretty busy so I wait my turn in the queue. When I get to the front I ask the friendly young guy for some low nicotine e-liquid. As part of the chat I mention how I usually buy Elf Bars but I'm trying to quit vaping now. Suddenly I'm aware of someone behind me shouting something, so I spun round to see what's going on. There's a tall, rotund white haired man standing at the back of the queue booming 'They'll all kill your anyway, love!'

I reply that I'm aware it's not healthy and that's why I'm trying to quit before turning back to pay for my stuff and get the hell out of there. But he's still shouting 'I don't drink and I've never smoked! You know why??! Because I'm the boss of this!' And he proceeds to tap the side of his head. 'I can do anything I put my mind to!'

I say 'thank you very much for the unsolicited advice random man' and carry on with the transaction. But he won't shut up. He's really belittling me now and suggesting that I am weak willed and pathetic for being addicted to something. I'm done paying now and turn to leave and he's yelling at me that his wife has emphysema because she smoked 40 a day. I say loudly 'Now I feel doubly sorry for your wife' and march towards the door.

He's still going, although I'm not sure exactly what he's shouting about now but I'm raging by this point. Who does he think he is? Would he be saying all of this to a man buying cigarettes? So I get to the door and then shout back at him 'Can do anything apparently, but can't mind your own fucking business or put down the pies long enough to drop a few inches off that waistband of yours'.

A few people in the queue gasped and I left feeling like I'd gone too far. Did I? Or did he deserve it, just a little bit?

Why are there so many people trying to insist he had dementia? He was just an opinionated middle class twat. Ranting at me while I was trying to bag up and pay for my stuff with my back to him.

Some people here telling me I behaved appallingly (accepted) and then others with the standard 'aye, sure you did'. Why the fuck would I make this up? 😆

And to those who say I was quick with my replies, thank you. I don't think I delivered them in a very cool way though. He had me ruffled, stumbling the odd word and red in the face. But that's the desired outcome for men like him.

Because you’re troll Hunting. You think you might be being subtle with your silly little strike through text and comments like your middle
paragraph but it’s against the rules and you full well know it. If you think it’s a troll post report it, otherwise don’t fucking comment.

Well you are charming, aren't you?

I wasn't troll-hunting. I in no way doubt the OP or the situation she described. I questioned the likelihood of coming up with such a crafted riposte, on the spot, that's all - and of course, I could be wrong, and OP might have very well been able to speedily come up with that.

I have no idea why you think you need to be so gratuitously insulting and rude.

as for 'troll hunting', there are many posts on here overtly questioning this account so I'm sure you are reporting each of those too?

Perhaps read my posts a bit more clearly next time. 🙄

And I disagree with you.

No one wins in the situation you’re describing either. Do you honestly think if op had have been “assertive” rather than “rude” he would have reflected on his behaviour? You’re absolutely deluded if you do.

He was rude, aggressive and intimidating and he got the same back. Pity for his fucking hump. If people don’t want to be abused, maybe they shouldn’t abuse others.

I’d have gasped because I’m not used to women standing up to strange men in public. We usually just shuffle away in an
embarrassed silence.
I would have felt very in awe of you though and would have smiled for the rest of the day.
Good for you!

Yep this. We all know he wouldn’t have been ranting and raving and a man. Good for you OP - I would have had to say something but maybe not as good as your response!

Why do so many PP advise just saying ‘thanks’? Why should women thank men for belittling them in public? I hope the day comes when other bystanders will respond with a bit more support when people are subject to harrassing sexist nonsense. Maybe then there would have been no need for OP to have been pushed so hard.

Yes, I like the idea of getting 'random man' into the response. Now anyone normal would have picked up on this a a cue to stfu, but no he keeps going.
As he kept it up I'd have been inclined to leave with a remark like "There's one thing that puzzles me. Why are you fat?"

Do you honestly think if op had have been “assertive” rather than “rude” he would have reflected on his behaviour? You’re absolutely deluded if you do.

Is there some reason for the level of aggressive, rude posts on this thread?!

No, if you read my post you'll see, I would not have engaged, at all. I don't think any reply would have altered matters, but I really disagree that being rude and insulting on top of the man's poor behaviour makes any difference whatsover.

No idea why you have decided I'm deluded - you are entitled to your view as I am to mine.

Regarding abuse - what was the point in abusing him? He won't change. All that happened was that OP lowered herself to his level.

Your response made me laugh out loud. Sounds like a belligerent old sod to me who is used to having his every word taken as gospel.

Why does every bit of bad behaviour these days get put down to SEN, MH or some other disorder? Some people are just gits.

The comment about feeling doubly sorry for the wife who had emphysema was a step too far for me. I think at the point he mentioned his wife I wouldn’t have commented further.

Yes, you were. You should have ignored him.

Should you find yourself in this position again, stay quiet and wish them well as you pass them on your way out, as demonstrated by Gwyneth Paltrow at her trial. Far classier than ranting at someone who clearly had issues.

I wouldn’t have bothered acknowledging him. You gave him what he wanted- attention.

He was a prick and 100% most men who say things like these needing taking down a peg or two to realise they are not the centre of the universe or are perfect themselves.

I feel incredibly sad for his wife who has to put up with him most likely saying these things to her as well. I really don't get the 'maybe he's upset about his wife' excuse, it absolutely doesn't excuse it.

I would have totally ignored him. When you have to hurl personal insults and drop the f bomb, you’ve lost the argument. He has a point, I can’t believe people buy this crap of random chemicals over the counter in a garage forecourt and smoke it, or suck it or whatever they do with it. Not that I would ever tell someone that in the way he did.

Middle class?
nice

He doesn't sound the full shilling at all. I would have said something, but not taken it as far as you did.

Sounds fine what you said Hopefully he'll think twice before doing that again.

I would of ignored but he was probably pissed off there was obvious a Que
and you seem in no rush holding everyone up

I've lost both parents to smoking related diseases but that gives me no right to judge them or anyone else. Double well done from me OP, firstly for trying to give up and secondly for standing up for yourself with this rentagob.

You can be assertive and stand up for yourself without descending to the behaviour the OP describes.

Caping and smoking are both disgusting, so I'm with the old bloke.

Give up and then you can take the moral high ground.

*Vaping

I don't think you made it up. I bet some people in the queue did 'gasp' or certainly raise an eyebrow or signify covert solidarity.
Originally I pictured a 'working class' bloke in his 60s maybe in sweatpants and an anorak....now I've visions of Micheal Winner...more Toad of Toad Hall than Les Battersby, both equally off putting.
Don't gilt trip yourself. You know what you did and actually you didn't 'let him get the better of you'. You didn't 'lose it'. You carefully considered and chose to go back and make your last response....because he needed telling. Just like scoffing a big piece of cake it was naughty but nice. Own it and savour the moment!

Is there some reason for the level of aggressive, rude posts on this thread?!

They appear to be all from people who think this was an admirable way to behave.

It's depressing in my opinion that so many are finding the OP's response admirable.