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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to book a gender blood test at 6 weeks?

202 replies

Dorothyspeaks30 · 30/03/2023 22:55

I have 2 daughters who are 3 years apart and I am desperately wishing my third is a boy. I have no pressure around me but I never grew up with brothers so wish my daughters could have a brother. I would be grateful either way and would still be happy to have a girl of course. Now that I’m pregnant, I don’t feel like I can wait until a private scan at 16 weeks and found out about the gender blood test and booked it! I know I probably sound insane but this third baby is most likely my last chance at having another child and I’m truly grateful no matter what.

p.s nobody knows I’m pregnant yet. I have been cramping so part of me wonders if I’ll even make it to 12 weeks! Please be kind, I’m very emotional and just need reassurance or to hear other peoples opinions on doing this.

OP posts:
33goingon64 · 30/03/2023 23:05

Yes it's insane. In my opinion. Please just forget about what sex your child will be. It's really not as significant as you might think.

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/03/2023 23:10

Do you mean the Harmony test or one like it? If so that’s a medical test to check the likelihood of genetic abnormalities in a baby. You can additionally find out the sex of the baby. It’s not a gender blood test, you make it sound so trivial.

It’s your body and your money so do what you like but I think it’s odd. I had the harmony and chose not to find out the sex, I honestly wasn’t bothered what genitals the baby would have. I was lucky the baby was healthy and didn’t think anything more of it.

ExtraOnions · 30/03/2023 23:20

What’s the point ? Sex is already decided … knowing early will make zero difference to the outcome

Namechangingagain111 · 30/03/2023 23:24

What's the point?
Will you do anything different dependent on which gender it is?

Olivia199 · 30/03/2023 23:25

If it's one of those kits that you do a finger prick blood test in and send off.. just be aware it's not overly accurate. Done too early (easy enough prior to 12 week scan) it could show girl even if it was a boy as there wouldn't be enough in your blood for the sample. If there are boys in the house then it's incredibly easy for this to be contaminated and give a false boy reading.

Honestly as hard as it is, I'd try and wait a while longer yet. Last thing you want is to get a result either way, process that and then find out it's wrong.

Wishing you all the best for your pregnancy!

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 30/03/2023 23:26

Yes YABU

SkunkFiles · 30/03/2023 23:29

Olivia199 · 30/03/2023 23:25

If it's one of those kits that you do a finger prick blood test in and send off.. just be aware it's not overly accurate. Done too early (easy enough prior to 12 week scan) it could show girl even if it was a boy as there wouldn't be enough in your blood for the sample. If there are boys in the house then it's incredibly easy for this to be contaminated and give a false boy reading.

Honestly as hard as it is, I'd try and wait a while longer yet. Last thing you want is to get a result either way, process that and then find out it's wrong.

Wishing you all the best for your pregnancy!

how would boys in the house contaminate a blood sample Confused

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 30/03/2023 23:32

How are you truly grateful no matter what if you're planning on doing a blood test at 6 weeks pregnant to see if it's a boy? What if it's a girl?

Just wait and see on the scan.

TimeForTeaAndG · 30/03/2023 23:34

Yabu. There is never a guarantee that siblings will get on with each other regardless of sex. You presumably had a romanticised idea in your head of what it would be like to have a brother based on TV and potentially snippets of friends lives with their brothers? Again, you might have had a shitty brother and then you'd wish you'd had a sister.

But you do you. I admit I raised my eyebrows a little bit at first as I was expecting it to go along the lines of so you could abort and try again if this one is a girl.

Precipice · 30/03/2023 23:36

Why do you want your daughters to have a brother???

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 30/03/2023 23:42

TimeForTeaAndG · 30/03/2023 23:34

Yabu. There is never a guarantee that siblings will get on with each other regardless of sex. You presumably had a romanticised idea in your head of what it would be like to have a brother based on TV and potentially snippets of friends lives with their brothers? Again, you might have had a shitty brother and then you'd wish you'd had a sister.

But you do you. I admit I raised my eyebrows a little bit at first as I was expecting it to go along the lines of so you could abort and try again if this one is a girl.

I thought the same when I read the 'nobody knows yet' part 🤦🏼‍♀️

Good luck with everything OP.

NewNovember · 30/03/2023 23:42

Those tests don't work and yes they can be very easily contaminated.

Cattenberg · 30/03/2023 23:44

I thought you had to be at least 10 weeks pregnant for an NIPT to (possibly) reveal the baby’s sex and ideally a few weeks further along than that.

L1ttledrummergirl · 30/03/2023 23:48

They may tell you the babies sex, but I'd be amazed if they tell you the gender.

Original poster
Dorothyspeaks30 · 30/03/2023 23:53

Just to make it clear - I would never abort my unborn child because of gender or disability. Ever! I also wouldn’t be doing this blood test at home. It would be done at a private clinic. My late sister had a rare genetic syndrome but even then, I wouldn’t do anything differently, but it’s nice to prepare. Also with the gender, it’ll stop me from obsessing. I am neurodiverse and have a tendency to hyper focus and would rather just know.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 31/03/2023 00:01

YABU but if it will calm you down and or help with sex disappointment then carry on I suppose.

nothingcomestonothing · 31/03/2023 00:05

They may tell you the babies sex, but I'd be amazed if they tell you the gender.

This😂

Pylor · 31/03/2023 00:07

SkunkFiles · 30/03/2023 23:29

how would boys in the house contaminate a blood sample Confused

Show quote history

If there are enough male DNA fragments it will give a ‘boy’ result. If it had been one of the fingerprick ones it’s incredibly hard at home to try to maintain an aseptic environment- if anything has been handled by your DP or if you rest bottles on surfaces he has touched then there is going to be a false result.

HowcanIhelp123 · 31/03/2023 00:08

NIPT tests don't work that early, at least 10 weeks before there is enough fetal DNA in your blood, best results after 11 weeks.

Rinkydinkydoodle · 31/03/2023 00:08

but it’s nice to prepare. Also with the gender, it’ll stop me from obsessing. I am neurodiverse and have a tendency to hyper focus and would rather just know.

I empathise. I very much wanted to know with DC2, absolutely NOT because I had plans to abort or anything, but I feel better psychologically for less uncertainty. Some people like surprises, some really don’t. I felt like I knew the baby better when I knew the sex (not claiming this is rational but it felt very real to me).

That’s not to say though that getting the answer you want will create the family dynamic you want, but you probably know that already, right?

Yellownotblue · 31/03/2023 00:10

There is no such thing as a “gender” test, because gender is a social construct and your foetus doesn’t know about it. You can have a sex test, I don’t know how accurate those are at the stage you’re at. Or you can just welcome your new baby, knowing that labour will be shorter if you don’t know if they are a boy or girl 😁

I grew up with three older sisters, I didn’t miss on having a brother. Your framework sounds rather sexist. Girls don’t need brothers ! Sorry if I’m being blunt.

CC4712 · 31/03/2023 00:14

What test is this OP and what country is it being done in? The NIPT can't be done until at least 10 weeks until enough foetal blood is circulating. I'm interested in what exactly they are claiming to test in your own blood at 6 weeks, when the placenta hasn't even taken over and no foetal DNA would be circulating? Is it a new test?

MMoon23 · 31/03/2023 00:24

You can pay £10 for experts to analyse your 12 week scan pictures, if you can wait that long!! The people I know that have done this have had an accurate result

https://earlyglimpse.com/

Earlyglimpse

Providing an in depth analysis and gender report using ramzi and Nub Theory, scientifically proven. Early gender prediction specialists. Scan Images dating scan

https://earlyglimpse.com/

Original poster
Dorothyspeaks30 · 31/03/2023 00:25

CC4712 · 31/03/2023 00:14

What test is this OP and what country is it being done in? The NIPT can't be done until at least 10 weeks until enough foetal blood is circulating. I'm interested in what exactly they are claiming to test in your own blood at 6 weeks, when the placenta hasn't even taken over and no foetal DNA would be circulating? Is it a new test?

This is a clinic in the UK, I’d say the name of it but then it’ll be telling whereabouts I am in the uk. It’s definitely possible from 6 weeks, according to a doctor I consulted and the clinic have a full refund policy if there are mistakes (assuming they know the accuracy is 99.9%).

OP posts:
pinksheetss · 31/03/2023 00:26

Yellownotblue · 31/03/2023 00:10

There is no such thing as a “gender” test, because gender is a social construct and your foetus doesn’t know about it. You can have a sex test, I don’t know how accurate those are at the stage you’re at. Or you can just welcome your new baby, knowing that labour will be shorter if you don’t know if they are a boy or girl 😁

I grew up with three older sisters, I didn’t miss on having a brother. Your framework sounds rather sexist. Girls don’t need brothers ! Sorry if I’m being blunt.

Knew it wouldn't be long before someone took it there