Page 5 | AIBU to book a gender blood test at 6 weeks?

Dorothyspeaks30 · 2023-03-30T21:55:19+00:00

I have 2 daughters who are 3 years apart and I am desperately wishing my third is a boy. I have no pressure around me but I never grew up with brothers so wish my daughters could have a brother. I would be grateful either way and would still be happy to have a girl of course. Now that I’m pregnant, I don’t feel like I can wait until a private scan at 16 weeks and found out about the gender blood test and booked it! I know I probably sound insane but this third baby is most likely my last chance at having another child and I’m truly grateful no matter what. p.s nobody knows I’m pregnant yet. I have been cramping so part of me wonders if I’ll even make it to 12 weeks! Please be kind, I’m very emotional and just need reassurance or to hear other peoples opinions on doing this.

Pipsquiggle · 31/03/2023 07:53

Monkeymonkeymoo · 31/03/2023 05:52

Just to clarify there are 2 different tests (there seems to be a bit of confusion)

-NIPT is primarily a medical screening test done at 10+ weeks. Its main job is to screen for chromosomal abnormalities, but there is an option to also find out the sex.
It tends to be fairly expensive (around £300) but is very accurate.
They are not offered before 10 weeks because there isn’t enough fetal DNA in the mother’s blood to give an accurate result and you risk getting a false negative for the chromosomal abnormalities (because it’s done for medical reasons it’s important that it’s as accurate as possible).

-The ‘sneak peak’’/‘meet your miracle’ etc tests can be done from 6 weeks. They’re only used to find out the sex of the baby. At 6 weeks they may be able to detect some fetal DNA but they are much more likely to give a false result than doing a test at 10 weeks (especially if you get a ‘girl’ result- it just means that they haven’t been able to detect male DNA, but this might just be because the levels aren’t high enough yet).
The ones done in a clinic are more accurate because the ones done at home carry a high risk of contamination or user error.
They tend to be a lot cheaper than NIPT (around £100-150). They won’t give you any information about your baby’s health, they are simply done for ‘fun’ for people who want to find out the sex as early as possible.
If you go on any of the pregnancy forums then you’ll come across lots of women who got a false result from using these sneak peak type tests.

For what it’s worth I don’t think there’s any harm in wanting to find out the sex of your baby as early as possible. I was really excited and really wanted to know (I’m not very patient!)
Personally, if you’ve booked a ‘sneak peak’ or ‘meet your miracle’ type test then I’d save your money and get the NIPT at 10 weeks instead. It’s much more accurate and will also screen for some health problems.

Also, you mentioned in passing that you weren’t sure you’d get to 12 weeks because you’ve been having cramping. I had loads of cramps (some were worse than early labour) and went on to have a totally normal pregnancy and healthy baby. Cramps are really normal in early pregnancy.

@Monkeymonkeymoo thanks for this info.

@Dorothyspeaks30 - this is the best post, please read it

BigFatLiar · 31/03/2023 07:54

nobody knows I’m pregnant yet

Surely you've told your husband/partner.

underneaththeash · 31/03/2023 07:54

it's actually quite accurate, there's a few studies on here. Looks like around 91% at 6 weeks and 95% at 7 weeks. I preferred knowing the sex of my babies, DH preferred the surprise element. So I found out with DC1 and DC3 and didn't with DC2. I just prefer knowing things in general.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17089442/

Accuracy of fetal gender determination in maternal plasma at 5 and 6 weeks of pregnancy - PubMed

Quantitative real-time PCR and TaqMan MGB probes specific for the detection of fetal gender in maternal plasma starting at 5 weeks of gestation have good sensitivity and excellent specificity.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17089442

nahnahnahnahnahnah · 31/03/2023 07:54

Gilm0reGirl · 31/03/2023 07:45

That person wouldn’t be my friend anymore! I’d have put them in their place with some firm boundary reminders and cut contact to a minimum, telling you she was going to watch out for her, actually questioning your parenting!? How utterly rude! The brass on some people. We are expecting our very much wanted second girl and I had a couple of people suggest a boy would have been nice, they got quite the dressing down for it.

OP just a heads up it’s rare but a lady on my due in April group was told it was a girl from her NIPT test when it was actually a boy. She posted a few threads about it if you have a search. I believe she said the earlier you have it done the harder it is to pick up the boy dna so it can come back girl.

Show quote history

Oh, she was cut out from that day on. I don’t take that sort of bullshit from anyone.

Gincan · 31/03/2023 07:57

CallintheClownies · 31/03/2023 07:52

Oh and for good measure, when I had my DCs, there was no 'sex' scan available- they weren't accurate. I didnt know the sex of mine till they popped out.

Aren't we lucky the technology has improved 😀

Led921900 · 31/03/2023 07:57

I’d do it because if it’s a girl you have longer to get your head around it no point in hoping it’s a boy for 9 months when it isn’t. Earliest I could have the NIPT test was 10 weeks pregnant though and had results in time for 12 week scan. Before that it had a high chance of failure as not enough fetal DNA.
btw I have three girls!

LaDamaDeElche · 31/03/2023 07:58

I don't know why posters are jumping on the sex/gender thing. They are often used interchangeably, albeit incorrectly, but we all know what the OP means.

GoodChat · 31/03/2023 07:59

CallintheClownies · 31/03/2023 07:50

This is bonkers.

You're coming at this on the basis your daughters 'need' a brother.

What nonsense is this?

I have a brother and can hardly stand him! We are chalk and cheese.

You're living in a fantasy world.

And a test won't change anything.

I know you have said otherwise, but at the same time it could appear you are thinking of a termination if your baby isn't the sex you want.

She hasn't said they need a brother. She said she'd like for them to have a brother and she would like a son. It's perfectly fine to want to know either way so she can prepare.

BellePeppa · 31/03/2023 08:02

You’re over romanticising the idea of your daughters having a brother. We sisters have a younger brother and he’s honestly a bloody pain in the arse even as an adult. I can only spend short amounts of time with him. How will you feel if it’s not a boy and you’ve got months of knowing?

gemloving · 31/03/2023 08:02

I don't think you can rest before 9 / 10 weeks as far as I am aware.

It really doesn't matter in the end and I hope you didn't make the decision to have another child based on having a boy.

Auliza · 31/03/2023 08:02

I’ve not long had my third (and final 😞), I already had 2 boys. My boys were desperate to know if they were going to have a brother or sister. We found out at 14 weeks with an ultrasound, we chose to do that as we wanted to take the boys to see a scan and they’re not able to attend the NHS ones. We found out that we were having a girl, the boys wanted a sister. We didn’t go hoping for a specific sex, my gut was telling me a boy.

Life is precious so having a healthy baby meant the world to us but a girl just felt like another little bonus.

You do what you want and find out when you want, it’s your baby and your life. Don’t think about anyone else’s opinions.

One thing that irritates me about MN is how passive aggressive some of the posters are 🥱. I started using MN for advice, not to judge.

Good luck through the pregnancy ❤️

Owlatnight · 31/03/2023 08:06

I would save the money for something for the baby or you girls

Rosula · 31/03/2023 08:07

If I were you I'd wait till 10 weeks. Otherwise you'll only spend the next four weeks obsessing about whether the test was too early and was wrong.

TeaForMeandThee · 31/03/2023 08:12

I don't get the point in all this nonsense, if you genuinely aren't fussed about the SEX you wait until the birth. Much nicer to find out the sex once you've got them in your arms than get a letter through the post 🤷‍♀️, I had 3 "surprises" it was wonderful and added to the excitement of the birth.

Butterwicky · 31/03/2023 08:12

Not the point I know but it's quite refreshing to see a baby's sex thread on here by someone who wants a boy! Usually they're all about how terrible it would be not to have a girl and how boys are destructive and grow up to never speak to you.

Oldermum84 · 31/03/2023 08:14

Do it if it makes you feel better. I'm older so am going to book to have a Nipt at 10 weeks and that will tell me the gender too. I get that it's nice to know early on.

dryingontheradiatior · 31/03/2023 08:14

I think this is a bit crazy at 6 weeks to be honest, as somebody that has struggled to have children I'd really focus on welcoming a healthy child in to the world and not so much gender. You're blessed to have so many healthy children.

I had the NIPT test due to concerns about genetic abnormalities at the 12 week scan, with our first. The focus of these tests is to test for just that. They can tell you gender but it's a bit of a bonus.

Personally I would not spend hundreds on this at 6 weeks and I'd wait until you're much further on. I'd prioritise an early private scan, myself.

dryingontheradiatior · 31/03/2023 08:15

Oh and also if you want to find out what you're having, don't take any judgment about not waiting for a "surprise" at birth. It's not a surprise. It's 50/50. Hardly surprising and waiting until birth doesn't earn you a medal.

BertieBotts · 31/03/2023 08:19

It's completely your choice OP. If you think it's worth the money, spend it on whatever you like! Nobody else's business.

I don't see why people are making it into a moral thing at all. It doesn't hurt anybody. Do it if you want to.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 31/03/2023 08:20

It’s a bit worrying to see from this thread how many people evidently still don’t understand the difference between biological sex and gender (as the word is now used) and seem to think they’re interchangeable.

Emilia35 · 31/03/2023 08:23

These shouldn't be allowed at 6 weeks in my opinion. I almost got one at 8 weeks in my last pregnancy, then booked a scan instead and found out I'd had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks.

Lwrenagain · 31/03/2023 08:24

Auliza · 31/03/2023 08:02

I’ve not long had my third (and final 😞), I already had 2 boys. My boys were desperate to know if they were going to have a brother or sister. We found out at 14 weeks with an ultrasound, we chose to do that as we wanted to take the boys to see a scan and they’re not able to attend the NHS ones. We found out that we were having a girl, the boys wanted a sister. We didn’t go hoping for a specific sex, my gut was telling me a boy.

Life is precious so having a healthy baby meant the world to us but a girl just felt like another little bonus.

You do what you want and find out when you want, it’s your baby and your life. Don’t think about anyone else’s opinions.

One thing that irritates me about MN is how passive aggressive some of the posters are 🥱. I started using MN for advice, not to judge.

Good luck through the pregnancy ❤️

I came to make friends.
Left with a nemesis and plethora of character assassinations!
Nothing like women building other women up! 😂

JustDanceAddict · 31/03/2023 08:26

No idea why you’d do this at 6 weeks but if there’s no harm to the baby then go for it. I have never heard of it before& I didn’t find out the sex if either of my DCs until they were born! I actually was convinced dd was a boy as she had a minor medical issue in utero that was much more prevalent in boys due to the anatomical make up!! Those days they didn’t give you the sex at 20 weeks on the nhs.

dryingontheradiatior · 31/03/2023 08:26

It’s a bit worrying to see from this thread how many people evidently still don’t understand the difference between biological sex and gender (as the word is now used) and seem to think they’re interchangeable.

I know the difference, but you will find that medical professionals also use the word gender. If you look up private scans, most call them gender scans, not sex scans or sexing scans.

PylaSheight · 31/03/2023 08:29

@Dorothyspeaks30 what would you have to "prepare" depending on the sex of the baby? I mean, unless you plan to go in for the whole gender stereotype blue is for boys and pink is for girls thing, so want to know what colour clothes to buy and what colour to paint their room, what does it matter?

How would you feel if you'd been led to believe you were expecting a boy then gave birth to a girl?