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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to book a gender blood test at 6 weeks?

202 replies

Dorothyspeaks30 · 30/03/2023 22:55

I have 2 daughters who are 3 years apart and I am desperately wishing my third is a boy. I have no pressure around me but I never grew up with brothers so wish my daughters could have a brother. I would be grateful either way and would still be happy to have a girl of course. Now that I’m pregnant, I don’t feel like I can wait until a private scan at 16 weeks and found out about the gender blood test and booked it! I know I probably sound insane but this third baby is most likely my last chance at having another child and I’m truly grateful no matter what.

p.s nobody knows I’m pregnant yet. I have been cramping so part of me wonders if I’ll even make it to 12 weeks! Please be kind, I’m very emotional and just need reassurance or to hear other peoples opinions on doing this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dorothyspeaks30 · 31/03/2023 00:27

Yellownotblue · 31/03/2023 00:10

There is no such thing as a “gender” test, because gender is a social construct and your foetus doesn’t know about it. You can have a sex test, I don’t know how accurate those are at the stage you’re at. Or you can just welcome your new baby, knowing that labour will be shorter if you don’t know if they are a boy or girl 😁

I grew up with three older sisters, I didn’t miss on having a brother. Your framework sounds rather sexist. Girls don’t need brothers ! Sorry if I’m being blunt.

Of course girls don’t “need” boys. You’re right about that and I never had a brothers and have the best bond with my sisters and we are all independent women. I personally would love to have of each. But I’m ok too, if it doesn’t happen.

OP posts:
CC4712 · 31/03/2023 00:29

Dorothyspeaks30 · 31/03/2023 00:25

This is a clinic in the UK, I’d say the name of it but then it’ll be telling whereabouts I am in the uk. It’s definitely possible from 6 weeks, according to a doctor I consulted and the clinic have a full refund policy if there are mistakes (assuming they know the accuracy is 99.9%).

Show quote history

No need to mention the actual clinic at all- but what is the name of the test they are performing on you?

Original poster
Dorothyspeaks30 · 31/03/2023 00:30

Rinkydinkydoodle · 31/03/2023 00:08

but it’s nice to prepare. Also with the gender, it’ll stop me from obsessing. I am neurodiverse and have a tendency to hyper focus and would rather just know.

I empathise. I very much wanted to know with DC2, absolutely NOT because I had plans to abort or anything, but I feel better psychologically for less uncertainty. Some people like surprises, some really don’t. I felt like I knew the baby better when I knew the sex (not claiming this is rational but it felt very real to me).

That’s not to say though that getting the answer you want will create the family dynamic you want, but you probably know that already, right?

Thank you so much for understanding and empathising. I have a girls and a boys name in mind, although I know that seems too soon. I do like to be prepared and I know that the dynamics wouldn’t be any different. I guess once I know, I’ll stop obsessing. Unfortunately it’s a tough trait to have l.

OP posts:
pinksheetss · 31/03/2023 00:30

I don't think YABU
If you want to find out and risk this method then go for it! No one else can have any say in what you choose to do on that

I think it's okay to feel this way and the earlier you find out the less time you'll have pondering over the sex. If it's another girl it gives you time to let it sink it

I never understand why posters on here cause such a stink about people finding out the sex. Just let people enjoy what they want to!

Original poster
Dorothyspeaks30 · 31/03/2023 00:32

CC4712 · 31/03/2023 00:29

No need to mention the actual clinic at all- but what is the name of the test they are performing on you?

Show quote history

It’s a NIPT blood test, determines genetic disorders and gender.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dorothyspeaks30 · 31/03/2023 00:34

pinksheetss · 31/03/2023 00:30

I don't think YABU
If you want to find out and risk this method then go for it! No one else can have any say in what you choose to do on that

I think it's okay to feel this way and the earlier you find out the less time you'll have pondering over the sex. If it's another girl it gives you time to let it sink it

I never understand why posters on here cause such a stink about people finding out the sex. Just let people enjoy what they want to!

You are an absolute diamond! Thank you so much for your reassurance and kind words. It really does mean a lot. I was very nervous posting this thread.

OP posts:
sugarspices · 31/03/2023 00:34

A 'meet your miracle' clinic near me does the sneak peak blood test for you to prevent the risk of contamination - it's offered from as early as 6 weeks and according to the website isn't the same as the one you can do at home. I'll be doing it with my next one for sure, it killed me having to wait 17 weeks this time!

I don't see why you shouldn't do it if you're bursting to find out! At least then you'll know what to prepare for early on. Good luck x

Original poster
Dorothyspeaks30 · 31/03/2023 00:36

sugarspices · 31/03/2023 00:34

A 'meet your miracle' clinic near me does the sneak peak blood test for you to prevent the risk of contamination - it's offered from as early as 6 weeks and according to the website isn't the same as the one you can do at home. I'll be doing it with my next one for sure, it killed me having to wait 17 weeks this time!

I don't see why you shouldn't do it if you're bursting to find out! At least then you'll know what to prepare for early on. Good luck x

Yes! That’s the exact same test and they manage the blood to stop cross contamination and offer a refund policy if they get it wrong, which I’m assured has not yet happened, as they can only test from 6 weeks onwards. Thank you so much for your kind words. It means so much to me :)

OP posts:
Tandora · 31/03/2023 00:37

Dorothyspeaks30 · 31/03/2023 00:32

It’s a NIPT blood test, determines genetic disorders and gender.

Show quote history

You can’t have these until 10 weeks. Are you counting your weeks properly?

PickledPurplePickle · 31/03/2023 00:38

Yes you sound insane

what a pointless waste of money. It is what it is.

if you were testing for any genetic disorders fair enough, but for gender, no

And 6 weeks is way too early

Original poster
Dorothyspeaks30 · 31/03/2023 00:38

Tandora · 31/03/2023 00:37

You can’t have these until 10 weeks. Are you counting your weeks properly?

Show quote history

I called the clinic today and they calculated it to be sure that I’m 6 weeks next Tuesday, which is when I’ll be having the test. This clinic does say from 6 weeks. The test is sensitive enough and it possible to detect the DNA in my bloodstream by then, apparently.

OP posts:
cityle · 31/03/2023 00:45

I have been reading on these tests as I'm part of the group on fb and I'm also 6 weeks! Majority have had inaccurate results and get told boy but really it's a girl!

And everyone who gets them done early then has still been worrying that it was wrong! And not to trust them till their "scan" proved it

So what's the point..

The harmony and NIPT at 10 weeks are reliable however! I had one done at 11 weeks and was told the correct sex!

Carlycat · 31/03/2023 01:03

It's sex not gender. You're welcome Grin

Bigcat25 · 31/03/2023 01:08

YWNBU. It doesn't hurt anyone and is already booked - no harm done.

sugarspices · 31/03/2023 01:12

cityle · 31/03/2023 00:45

I have been reading on these tests as I'm part of the group on fb and I'm also 6 weeks! Majority have had inaccurate results and get told boy but really it's a girl!

And everyone who gets them done early then has still been worrying that it was wrong! And not to trust them till their "scan" proved it

So what's the point..

The harmony and NIPT at 10 weeks are reliable however! I had one done at 11 weeks and was told the correct sex!

Many people are told boy when it's actually a girl because the test can pick up contamination from males in the house (even male pets apparently!) and it's very sensitive. If you have the test done in a clinic it's a venus blood test straight from the arm, rather than a finger prick.

Brokendaughter · 31/03/2023 01:23

You can find out what biological sex your child is perhaps, but they haven't been groomed yet into believing in the toxic ideology that surrounds gender so they are still innocent enough not to consider that safeguarding issue.

There is no test for something that is based on feelings rather than biology.

fairgame84 · 31/03/2023 01:39

Wait until 10 weeks for a NIPT.
Also do your research into them as they are all slightly different and have differing accuracy.
I did the iona through thisismynipt. I looked into the one at meet your miracle but it's not as good and is less accurate.

PippaF2 · 31/03/2023 01:54

I had a private blood test - it was part and parcel of having a scan, genetic testing and you can opt to find out the gender. Think it was at 10-12weeks though. Look into it obviously but I'm not sure they can do it at 6 weeks.

PippaF2 · 31/03/2023 01:58

Sorry should have read your updates. Got distracted with all the policing of vocab on gender/sex. 🙄

If it's 6 weeks fair enough! Good luck OP.

hazelish · 31/03/2023 02:09

I was desperate for a girl. I was desperate for stupid reasons really, but I’d just lost my daughter and was pregnant.
I did one of these tests and it said I’m having a girl.
DS was born a healthy if slightly oversized boy. I am very glad I had him.
I cannot remember how many weeks I was when I did the test but it was within the guidance and it definitely was not an accurate result.

Frozensun · 31/03/2023 02:38

It’s up to you if you want to find out. You can never pre-determine what sibling relationships will be like, so please don’t think your daughters will be ‘missing out’. However, all the NIPT tests I know of are from 10 weeks (unless there’s some brand new one I’m not aware of). There’s not enough feral blood circulating before that time - and even at 10 weeks, sometimes the sample doesn’t have enough.

sanityisamyth · 31/03/2023 02:53

L1ttledrummergirl · 30/03/2023 23:48

They may tell you the babies sex, but I'd be amazed if they tell you the gender.

Excellent!!

Kittens98 · 31/03/2023 03:12

They're not accurate.

An absolutely bonkers ex friend had it done, was told boy (5th child, all boys) and booked an abortion (yes really, she wanted a girl that badly 😱)

Couldn't go through with it and found out at 16 weeks it was a girl anyways.

They shouldn't be allowed.

Caiti19 · 31/03/2023 04:20

I don't see what the problem is with finding out the gender at 10 weeks versus 20 weeks. I know plenty of people who ticked the gender box as part of the Harmony test. As you say, it can put an end to obsessive wondering, and can be very practical in terms of arranging second hand clothes from relations and friends. Different strokes for different folks but YANBU in my opinion.

mumofboys8787 · 31/03/2023 04:41

As long as you go into it knowing that it's never 100% accurate then yes, go ahead and get it. But don't ever ask on AIBU again, this place breeds savages.

I had it done at 8w in my local clinic and it was accurate. If it comes back as girl it's almost 100% accurate, the accuracy is slightly less with a boy but still pretty good.

Do NOT attempt the home kit, the accuracy is diabolical from all the reviews I've seen.

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