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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to book a gender blood test at 6 weeks?

202 replies

Dorothyspeaks30 · 30/03/2023 22:55

I have 2 daughters who are 3 years apart and I am desperately wishing my third is a boy. I have no pressure around me but I never grew up with brothers so wish my daughters could have a brother. I would be grateful either way and would still be happy to have a girl of course. Now that I’m pregnant, I don’t feel like I can wait until a private scan at 16 weeks and found out about the gender blood test and booked it! I know I probably sound insane but this third baby is most likely my last chance at having another child and I’m truly grateful no matter what.

p.s nobody knows I’m pregnant yet. I have been cramping so part of me wonders if I’ll even make it to 12 weeks! Please be kind, I’m very emotional and just need reassurance or to hear other peoples opinions on doing this.

OP posts:
Densol57 · 31/03/2023 04:43

This reply has been deleted

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marcopront · 31/03/2023 04:53

I wouldn't read anything in to the guarantee.

50% of the time they will be accurate. Some of the people they get it it wrong for will not claim the money back. Their pricing model will include returning the money maybe 30% of the time.

Did you ask how many times they have done the test?

Dyslexicwonder · 31/03/2023 05:29

PickledPurplePickle · 31/03/2023 00:38

Yes you sound insane

what a pointless waste of money. It is what it is.

if you were testing for any genetic disorders fair enough, but for gender, no

And 6 weeks is way too early

I don't understand this. I didn't find out with either of mine (born 2004 and 2006) only about 50% of people did then, some NHS trusts would say, so people went privately. Why is this different ?. I think I am too old now but don't think I'd want to know now either.

Dyslexicwonder · 31/03/2023 05:29

Sorry some NHS trusts wouldn't say .

GoodChat · 31/03/2023 05:44

If it's going to help you manage the pregnancy more easily, go for it.

It's not going to cause any harm to the foetus and it's going to help your mental health.

The only thing I would consider before you do it is it's very early days at 6 weeks. How would you cope if you found out it was a boy then you miscarried? I know it's a horrible thing to consider, but I think it would add to the trauma for you, so just think about whether it's worth knowing in that sense.

Good luck OP, and congratulations.

jays · 31/03/2023 05:51

Precipice · 30/03/2023 23:36

Why do you want your daughters to have a brother???

OP has already gave her reasons. Why have you put three question marks? There’s just no need, why be so unhelpful and antagonistic, it’s just unhelpful,

Monkeymonkeymoo · 31/03/2023 05:52

Just to clarify there are 2 different tests (there seems to be a bit of confusion)

-NIPT is primarily a medical screening test done at 10+ weeks. Its main job is to screen for chromosomal abnormalities, but there is an option to also find out the sex.
It tends to be fairly expensive (around £300) but is very accurate.
They are not offered before 10 weeks because there isn’t enough fetal DNA in the mother’s blood to give an accurate result and you risk getting a false negative for the chromosomal abnormalities (because it’s done for medical reasons it’s important that it’s as accurate as possible).

-The ‘sneak peak’’/‘meet your miracle’ etc tests can be done from 6 weeks. They’re only used to find out the sex of the baby. At 6 weeks they may be able to detect some fetal DNA but they are much more likely to give a false result than doing a test at 10 weeks (especially if you get a ‘girl’ result- it just means that they haven’t been able to detect male DNA, but this might just be because the levels aren’t high enough yet).
The ones done in a clinic are more accurate because the ones done at home carry a high risk of contamination or user error.
They tend to be a lot cheaper than NIPT (around £100-150). They won’t give you any information about your baby’s health, they are simply done for ‘fun’ for people who want to find out the sex as early as possible.
If you go on any of the pregnancy forums then you’ll come across lots of women who got a false result from using these sneak peak type tests.

For what it’s worth I don’t think there’s any harm in wanting to find out the sex of your baby as early as possible. I was really excited and really wanted to know (I’m not very patient!)
Personally, if you’ve booked a ‘sneak peak’ or ‘meet your miracle’ type test then I’d save your money and get the NIPT at 10 weeks instead. It’s much more accurate and will also screen for some health problems.

Also, you mentioned in passing that you weren’t sure you’d get to 12 weeks because you’ve been having cramping. I had loads of cramps (some were worse than early labour) and went on to have a totally normal pregnancy and healthy baby. Cramps are really normal in early pregnancy.

Silverbook · 31/03/2023 06:03

Brokendaughter · 31/03/2023 01:23

You can find out what biological sex your child is perhaps, but they haven't been groomed yet into believing in the toxic ideology that surrounds gender so they are still innocent enough not to consider that safeguarding issue.

There is no test for something that is based on feelings rather than biology.

🙄

loislovesstewie · 31/03/2023 06:06

I'm a bit lost as to what you 'prepare ' for? I mean it's a baby , what difference does the sex make? Unless decorating a nursery stereotypically is what matters?

Letsgotitans · 31/03/2023 06:09

I don't know why you are asking if you're being unreasonable, it's your body, you do it if you want to.

Personally, if I hadn't have miscarried on my last pregnancy I would have done it but maybe not as early as 6 weeks. But that's only because I would have felt more connected to the baby, knowing their sex, when there is still a high risk of miscarriage (I'd already had two miscarriages). But it's a completely personal choice and you don't have to justify it to anyone.

To people who keep saying it's not accurate, it's NOT the finger prick test you have done at home, you have done at a clinic. You can have it done at 6 weeks, she isn't making things up.

And to all the people getting their knickers in a twist about using the word gender, your minds must be blown the amount of times you hear the phrase 'gender reveal party' 😂

littlelovely · 31/03/2023 06:13

My harmony test done at 11 weeks came back inconclusive for sex. That wasn’t the reason I was having the test (that was due to age - 40 - and history of miscarriage). It caused me a lot of worry even though it was very likely due to the test and not a problem with the baby. Personally I’d wait until 11-12 weeks.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 31/03/2023 06:14

Maybe your spare cash would be better spent on some therapy sessions to help with the overthinking/ obsessive thinking? I waited til mine were born to find out what sex they were, which seems like a really outdated concept going by this thread.

Dyslexicwonder · 31/03/2023 06:18

KickHimInTheCrotch · 31/03/2023 06:14

Maybe your spare cash would be better spent on some therapy sessions to help with the overthinking/ obsessive thinking? I waited til mine were born to find out what sex they were, which seems like a really outdated concept going by this thread.

I think it is increasingly outdated. Women born in the late '80/90's aren't used to waiting or not having information instantly available. I see this as an extension of that really.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 31/03/2023 06:23

I had my kids in 2011 and 2015 so I'm not ancient. But I think it was nice not to know, to keep something back.

amiold · 31/03/2023 06:25

This reply has been deleted

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VWHoliday · 31/03/2023 06:29

jays · 31/03/2023 05:51

OP has already gave her reasons. Why have you put three question marks? There’s just no need, why be so unhelpful and antagonistic, it’s just unhelpful,

Show quote history

I agree with you @jays . I found that comment really odd.

FlounderingFruitcake · 31/03/2023 06:30

I had the NIPT (Panorama) at 11 weeks with both of mine and found out the sex, it’s extremely accurate and it’s fine to want to know early. I wouldn’t waste my money on that Sneak Peak bullshit though. Wouldn’t you then just be waiting until the scan thinking about it, because you can’t trust the results in the way you can with NIPT?

VWHoliday · 31/03/2023 06:31

Also the gender/sex argument 🙄

EarringsandLipstick · 31/03/2023 06:39

swarm of bitches

That's ironic amiold

EarringsandLipstick · 31/03/2023 06:41

Monkeymonkeymoo · 31/03/2023 05:52

Just to clarify there are 2 different tests (there seems to be a bit of confusion)

-NIPT is primarily a medical screening test done at 10+ weeks. Its main job is to screen for chromosomal abnormalities, but there is an option to also find out the sex.
It tends to be fairly expensive (around £300) but is very accurate.
They are not offered before 10 weeks because there isn’t enough fetal DNA in the mother’s blood to give an accurate result and you risk getting a false negative for the chromosomal abnormalities (because it’s done for medical reasons it’s important that it’s as accurate as possible).

-The ‘sneak peak’’/‘meet your miracle’ etc tests can be done from 6 weeks. They’re only used to find out the sex of the baby. At 6 weeks they may be able to detect some fetal DNA but they are much more likely to give a false result than doing a test at 10 weeks (especially if you get a ‘girl’ result- it just means that they haven’t been able to detect male DNA, but this might just be because the levels aren’t high enough yet).
The ones done in a clinic are more accurate because the ones done at home carry a high risk of contamination or user error.
They tend to be a lot cheaper than NIPT (around £100-150). They won’t give you any information about your baby’s health, they are simply done for ‘fun’ for people who want to find out the sex as early as possible.
If you go on any of the pregnancy forums then you’ll come across lots of women who got a false result from using these sneak peak type tests.

For what it’s worth I don’t think there’s any harm in wanting to find out the sex of your baby as early as possible. I was really excited and really wanted to know (I’m not very patient!)
Personally, if you’ve booked a ‘sneak peak’ or ‘meet your miracle’ type test then I’d save your money and get the NIPT at 10 weeks instead. It’s much more accurate and will also screen for some health problems.

Also, you mentioned in passing that you weren’t sure you’d get to 12 weeks because you’ve been having cramping. I had loads of cramps (some were worse than early labour) and went on to have a totally normal pregnancy and healthy baby. Cramps are really normal in early pregnancy.

Great post.

I wasn't aware of the 6 week test. I think the key point is its accuracy. It sounds given you are anxious already, the chances of this test being inaccurate are likely to enhance, rather than reduce, that anxiety.

Good luck with your pregnancy OP

Pipsquiggle · 31/03/2023 06:45

Obviously you can find out the sex of your
baby but do you have to do it at 6 weeks? Waiting a bit longer - wouldn't that be more accurate?

BTW I totally get if you were pregnant with a 3rd and you already had 2 DC of the same sex, why you would want to find out. I would find out

amiold · 31/03/2023 06:52

EarringsandLipstick · 31/03/2023 06:39

swarm of bitches

That's ironic amiold

Ironic how?

GrinAndVomit · 31/03/2023 06:52

If it’s going to reduce your anxiety, then get the test. There are companies who offer a refund if the test results are wrong.

Good luck!

ComeOnNumber100 · 31/03/2023 06:55

Why are you even asking? You want the test, have the test. Personally I prefer finding out when they’re born but if you can’t wait, do it.

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