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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the school shouldn’t be ignoring this?

279 replies

MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 15:13

At my DD’s primary school, where there are a lot of children of teachers who attend - There was a mum’s night out last weekend. There, one of the teachers was making unkind comments about some of the children. Including that a couple were spoiled brats, she also speculated that ‘something is wrong’ with a particular child and also slagged off various parents. The people who attended the night out have complained to the headteacher as they felt this teacher, though very drunk, clearly crossed a line.

The school have done nothing but apologised on her behalf.

AIBU to think that more should be done and that they should be utterly outraged at this having happened?

OP posts:
DilemmaDelilah · 30/03/2023 15:15

I do think something should be done about it - and it probably is. The school don't have to tell you what they are doing but I would be very surprised if they weren't doing anything.

Waydown · 30/03/2023 15:18

Surely all they can do that you can see is apologise? At my school the head would be fuming and a proper disciplinary process would be followed, but that takes time and you'll never know the outcome.

DogFleece · 30/03/2023 15:18

Surely it would be similar if a dr was drunk and slagged off patients?
This is dreadful.

ReadersD1gest · 30/03/2023 15:21

Why do you invite teachers on the Mum's night out? It kind of crosses boundaries. She really shouldn't have gone especially if she was going to make a tit of herself

dizzydizzydizzy · 30/03/2023 15:24

ReadersD1gest · 30/03/2023 15:21

Why do you invite teachers on the Mum's night out? It kind of crosses boundaries. She really shouldn't have gone especially if she was going to make a tit of herself

I was thinking that too. I'm imagining the head will tell her not to go on any more nights out with the parents.

Waydown · 30/03/2023 15:26

ReadersD1gest · 30/03/2023 15:21

Why do you invite teachers on the Mum's night out? It kind of crosses boundaries. She really shouldn't have gone especially if she was going to make a tit of herself

OP says there of lots of teachers who are also parents at the school.

I'd expect teachers in that situation to be particularly aware of boundaries.

Bluevelvetsofa · 30/03/2023 15:38

I expect they’re invited because they are parents of children at the school too.

Nevertheless, I think it was unwise for them to go and even more unwise to drink too much and fall foul of professional boundaries. It was stupid and I’d be surprised if there wasn’t some kind of sanction you don’t know about.

Original poster
MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 15:40

ReadersD1gest · 30/03/2023 15:21

Why do you invite teachers on the Mum's night out? It kind of crosses boundaries. She really shouldn't have gone especially if she was going to make a tit of herself

I didn’t organise it

OP posts:
NurseCranesRolodex · 30/03/2023 15:43

Shocking, could be struck off the professional register on GTC for this, contravenes the professional standards that teachers are accredited to. Teacher was very stupid to go.

NameChange60000 · 30/03/2023 15:44

Yeah it's bad. Shouldn't go out amongst people you can't keep your mouth shut around! She might not be wrong for thinking it, but she's wrong for saying it.

Daisybee6 · 30/03/2023 15:44

I mean she's basically bringing the school into disrepute by crossing those personal and professional boundaries. They are hopefully doing something about it behind the scenes, the apology is the first step.

x2boys · 30/03/2023 15:45

Well you don't know that nothing is being done the schoo!.will.hardly be discussing and disciplinary action with you
very foo!ish of the teacher though to.not only attend but make those comments

MissyB1 · 30/03/2023 15:45

Oh I’m certain there will be a disciplinary process being followed, they obviously aren’t going to tell parents though.

Tiswa · 30/03/2023 15:50

Just like she should not have said those things neither should the school be saying what they are doing either. Publicly an apology for now and a lot more behind the scenes

Samsungwasher · 30/03/2023 15:51

That's all they can do really. They can't tell you if they take disciplinary action, it's confidential. I'd put money on it that they've done something though.

toomuchlaundry · 30/03/2023 15:54

This is likely an HR matter now, which they cannot give details of to you.

Original poster
MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 15:59

I would like a face to face apology TBH (my child was included in her insults, I wasn’t there at this point but I believe the person who told me what she said)

OP posts:
Treaclehair · 30/03/2023 16:13

GTC hasn’t existed for over ten years in England!

Nimbostratus100 · 30/03/2023 16:17

NurseCranesRolodex · 30/03/2023 15:43

Shocking, could be struck off the professional register on GTC for this, contravenes the professional standards that teachers are accredited to. Teacher was very stupid to go.

definitely wont happen!

Nimbostratus100 · 30/03/2023 16:18

toomuchlaundry · 30/03/2023 15:54

This is likely an HR matter now, which they cannot give details of to you.

exactly, there is likely to be a reprimand or a sanction, but it is unlikely that you will be told, especially you, who are only going on hearsay

Autienotnautie · 30/03/2023 16:40

School will show United front but more may be happening in background

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 30/03/2023 16:43

Well, that’s another one lost. Next week on Mumsnet ‘ why are there no full time teachers for my precious child’.

Lostinalibrary · 30/03/2023 16:44

They won’t tell you what’s happening - it’s confidential.

Original poster
MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 16:46

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 30/03/2023 16:43

Well, that’s another one lost. Next week on Mumsnet ‘ why are there no full time teachers for my precious child’.

Maybe they shouldn’t be cruel about children they teach then

OP posts:
Ridingfree · 30/03/2023 17:09

Op I understand you want a face to face apology and you probably deserve one. We have all been drunk and said things we didn't mean - I imagine she's feeling horrific about it and very regretful , sometimes drink does terrible things she may not have even meant what she said. Not excusing it but I imagine the regret, embarrassment and the telling off she's no doubt getting from the head are enough

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