To think the school shouldn’t be ignoring this?

[MachboosRubyanAnne]

At my DD’s primary school, where there are a lot of children of teachers who attend - There was a mum’s night out last weekend. There, one of the teachers was making unkind comments about some of the children. Including that a couple were spoiled brats, she also speculated that ‘something is wrong’ with a particular child and also slagged off various parents. The people who attended the night out have complained to the headteacher as they felt this teacher, though very drunk, clearly crossed a line.

The school have done nothing but apologised on her behalf.

AIBU to think that more should be done and that they should be utterly outraged at this having happened?

The fact she said it is not by the fucking by!! She didn’t say it to me in a professional setting she said it to another parents in a pub at 11pm on a Saturday night.

I said in my first post she has been indiscreet. I sincerely doubt she just started to reem off a list of children from the school and giving her opinions on them in front of other mothers. I would imagine it much more likely the whole group were discussing the kids at school, this teacher is just the one who is being put on the hook for it. She should have known better than to say it in front of people who she couldn’t trust. You cannot change what people think though, that’s the real issue.

My child is not awful either. No behaviour issues but they need a lot of help academically. Though not enough for learning support provision (which I have requested but have been told it’s not needed)

Other parents aren’t teachers who have an obligation to be professional. She WAS very much slagging off other kids as she was saying it about a few when I was still there (and didn’t like me saying I am not comfortable with this conversation). I left soon after in which she said that awful thing about my DC to another parent.

And you think this is OK and nothing more than ‘indiscreet’?

What did she say OP?

I agree this is awful. I have a child with SEN and have judgment from 1 or 2 teachers over the years. It's horrible. I would be very upset if they were bad mouthing that child in the pub.

It’s by the by because the real issue is that she does think there is something wrong and you are upset about that. I see in another update you have said that your child is behind and has had a few issues this year but that no one else has said there is anything wrong. She was foolish to say it in the company she was in. However do you think she may be right? Does he need extra help? And again think very carefully about the context of this conversation- sounds v much like someone else was talking about your child and she has responded saying there is something wrong there.

Is this a teacher, or is she a TA or other support staff?
Still not OK, but there’s a difference.

She will have had a bollocking and a warning. They aren't going to tell you what happens toher that's a confidential matter

So all the other mothers were sat there saying nothing whilst this teacher slagged off a load of kids, or were they all joining in? I think she has been foolish, I’ve said that several times. You are annoyed she has said it and I get that but I think you are making too big a deal about it. The school have apologised. She will be disciplined.

At my place of work (HEI) staff are forbidden to socialise with students or their families unless it is an appropriate official event such as an awards evening or there is a pre existing connection (which must be declared when the student starts with us). Same goes for social media, you can't add students or their families. As they are adults, once they leave you can pursue friendships/relationships even but most of us would consider it a bit odd to do so really. I have one ex student on facebook but that happened quite a while after they left and in a semi professional "let's keep in touch and share ideas" capacity.

There will be more going on behind closed doors! Teacher standards have been broken.

You can't base it on someone said!!

You won't get one. The school is dealing with it and how they deal with it, is not for you to know. They have apologised.

She needs retraining in confidentiality and data protection. This is a breech and it highlights a very unkind and concerning attitude to children in her care.

the fact she said it is by the by

It's not really. Teachers are, and should act as, professionals and what she says about the children she teachers to the parents of other children she teaches will be taken more seriously and seen as a professional opinion.

She can think whatever she wants about a child, but to say something that strong to other parents in the class is not indiscreet, it is a clear discipline matter.

Formal complaint to the chair of governors?

The school will probably be dealing with it , they aren't going to be able to tell you what is happening though

To the post who said another one gone, well it doesn't sound like that would be a bad thing!

What a fucking idiot going out and getting pissed with parents and slagging off the children

And just ignore the goady bastards, I don't know one person irl who would be ok about a pissed up teacher telling other parents that there was something wrong with their child

Fucking. Hell 😬 do people really think like this? She absolutely shouldn't have insulted a child she teaches to other mothers. Fuck me I despair.

Yup, always the same

I would escalate this further OP but I wouldn't expect much. There's a certain kind of culture at a school where several teachers have their own children. It isn’t encouraged at most of the schools I've been involved with.

No, I just know a lot of teachers, I worked in a school for a short time and they have an increasingly impossible job. I said the woman was foolish and indiscreet. What’s the point in whipping the OP up to a righteous frenzy over it? The school have already set apologised and the teacher will be disciplined. That’s still not enough. It’s not going to erase the OP’s embarrassment and it’s not going to help her son. But you all go ahead and back her to the hilt

As a teacher of teens I know it is very common to slag students and their parents off.
It is usually after a difficult students have pushed them to the absolute limit, often names like little shits or brats.

I personally won’t call the students nasty names but I have said how much a student has annoyed me or joke if anyone wants to swap with me as I have X in my class next and I cannot cope with him (eg a teen who will constantly make sexist, derogatory comments towards me and other females, think rape is funny and a man’s right yet claim to be transgender and then play the hate card if I tell him to stop).

There are also parents I will slag off as they’re not fit to be parents and their kids suffer.

However, it is completely unacceptable to say it in front of other parents and the teacher should and will be in trouble for it.

For you she can only apologise but she probably would have been formally warned by the head.

Like I said I tried to get my DC LS help but was told it was not needed.

If this yea her had come up to me as a professional and said “Let’s talk about your DC we’ve noticed some issues” I would be happy. But to hear it the first time that she’s said it when pissed to other parents is what’s pissed me off. So you are entirely wrong saying I’m only upset she pointed it out - it’s the way she went about it, it’s outrageous IMO.

Teacher