To have told DD6 the truth about Santa?

[Santaslittlehelper83]

A bit of an unseasonable thread, but it started as her questioning the existence of the Easter bunny, as a few things didn't add up to her about the school's easter egg hunt. We've never made a thing of the easter bunny, but have had egg hunts at home so I eventaully said 'yes it's the parents that hide the eggs'. I wish I hadn't as her train of thought went to the tooth fairy, then Santa. I wanted her to believe for a couple more years, as she still seems so little. I tried being vague saying along the lines of 'well we have to believe to keep the magic alive etc.....'. She wasn't to be fobbed off though and outright asked me if Santa was real and got the presents. In the end I felt I couldn't outright lie, so told her I didn't know whether Santa was real, but it is the parents that buy the gifts, and explained the tradition around that.

Well.....last night and this morning it is like the bottom has dropped out of her world. She is really upset and says she wishes she didn't know, that she feels there is no more magic in the world. I just don't know what to say to her, how to comfort her. She was so dejected going into school today, but she knows she can't say anything to her friends (I did have a quick word with the teacher). Has anyone else been through this, when a young child has been so upset? Was I unreasonable, should I just have lied?? Although I do believe she is upset, she is a bit of a dramatic child, and I think may be playing up to this abit. I feel awful and she is probably picking up on this. Arrrgh....any advice??? TIA.

This is how I would interpret it too.

I did this OP, when DS was six

He said before bed: mum, I have a really important question, can you promise you will be honest?

So I promised I would be honest.

He said: I think the tooth fairy does not really exist, is that true?

I said... ehm yes, you're right

Then:

"And Santa is not real either? Right? I figured out he can't be real..."

So I admitted Santa's not real either

Then he says: @and Jesus and God don't exist either. And Magic does not exist!"

Then he cried and cried and cried

It's 15 years ago now and I have always regretted that I got that one wrong

But it happens...

Parenting is hard

Never thought of that! I never doubted you for a moment @Liorae

I didn't believe in Santa from a very early age. I don't think I ever did, to be honest - it was akin to fairies and things that were nice to believe in, but deep down, I knew they didn't exist (took me a bit longer to get it with God, but I got there in the end).

My Christmases were always magical - it was the decorations, the tree, the stocking in the morning, the tree presents, the fun - Santa just wasn't an issue.

Don't worry about - she'll be fine.

Pitchforks at dawn about the Easter bunny 🤣🤣 grow up you absolute wet wipe - they find out some time!

Same thing happened with my DDs. Told them the truth when they asked directly and wouldnt be fobbed off. My older DD was delighted as she could nag me for more presents. Younger DD was sad but I told her all the love shown by the effort I went to to make Xmas magical was surely more magical than santa. She sort of agreed. And got over it. Explain where magic is really found in the world, in loving, generous, brave or selfless actions, and in the awesomeness of the natural world.

DS wouldn't have told unless, maybe, if it was brought up, if he was asked if the Easter Bunny came he would have been honest. I taught him that different families believe different things and have different traditions, no one being right or wrong.

I had to sign up, just to bring the magic back!

Please do tell your little girl about the #EasterFox / #Osterfuchs and why we have bunnies, chick sand eggs at Easter!

Bunnies Don't Even Lay Eggs" - Isla Nelson

Spring Equinox is on Mon, Mar 20, 2023 this year, with Easter around the corner on 9th April 2023. So I wanted to explain why celebrating with bunnies, chicks, painted eggs and egg hunts this time of year might not be as strange as first appears... and it is all thanks to the fox!

In Germany until the mid-20th Century, it was the #Osterfuchs or 'Easter Fox' that dominated Easter tradition and not the Easter bunny that we all know today.

"The children prepared a nest of moss and hay for the fox the day before Easter and made sure that the fox would not be disturbed at night." - Wiki, Osterfuchs

Knowing fox parents have hungry mouths to feed over early spring, it is wise to keep small prey animals such as poultry and rabbits locked up safe around Easter time (where they cannot disturb the fox). It was also recorded in the stories of the time, that the eggs were placed by the Easter fox and not by the Easter bunny.

The ancient tradition of the 'Easter Egg Tree' also existed at the time (symbolising life, spring and rebirth) and foxes love nothing more than a challenge and a good egg. It would make sense that hungry fox parents would steal and cache the painted eggs off these bountiful trees, ready for the children to then find again in the morning, in what may have been the very first 'Easter Egg Hunts'.

Natural cycles have always been woven into our traditions and some of the meaning can be lost over time. Finally knowing about the Easter fox, it seems these odd Easter traditions suddenly make sense, don't you agree?

Black Foxes UK - The Easter Fox

Easter never made more sense than when discovering all about the #EasterFox! 🦊

The Red Nosed Reindeer is real too! 😁

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/the-scientific-reason-why-reindeer-have-red-noses-166263479

You love Easter more than I think anyone on the planet!

Your fault for starting her on stupid lies in the first place, she probably can't trust anything you say right now.
My kid always knew I was the tooth fairy and I always describe father Christmas as the spirit of Christmas but he knows its me buys the gifts.
Still better you told her it's a lie than finding out from her friends how she's played for a fool for all these years.
Show her the real magic that is all around her, hatch an egg, grow a plant, teach her the tree names and their histories, teach her the bird names and their calls

Good post, Doone21.

She'll get over it, op, she asked you outright and you told her the truth. Christmas can still be magical.

Your responsbibility as a parent is not to prevent your children from ever crying.

My children never believed in Father Christmas as a real person. I decided right from the start that they would always know that he was a fantasy character.

Children love fairy tales and fantasy. We adults don't have to attempt to convince them that these fantasy characters exist in real life in order for children to enjoy their magic. The magic is in the story.

Quite right, 80s mum.

Somebody told DS Santa wasn’t real in Reception! He was only 4, I was really annoyed.

He does seem to have forgotten it now, though whether that is because he thinks presents stop when if he says he knows it’s us, I don’t know. Honestly he was never all that interested in meeting Santa, just in getting the presents. He has pointed out that Santa looks different every time he sees him as well.

Your post illustrates that the Santa myth is more important to parents than children. He is not real, nothingab about which to be annoyed.