Boyfriend’s kid wants to go to private school

[Limegreencurtains]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year and things are going well. We have been discussing the eventuality of us moving in together although neither of us are quite ready yet. I have young children from a previous relationship as does he. Yesterday, he told me that his child wants to go to private school and he will be funding it all. I am shocked at the cost and the fact his ex would expect him to cover all expenses. I can’t help but imagine that this is now going to affect our future. Do I have the right to bring this up or is it none of my business? I could never afford to send my own nor would I want to. Last year, just before I met his kid, he asked if they were ok with Dad having a girlfriend to which they replied, they thought it was fine as long as he didn’t stop buying them stuff. The kid and ex are high maintenance and I personally feel my boyfriend is seen as the bank of Dad. We both come from humble backgrounds. He earns £50000 a year and I work part time. Am I being unreasonable in wanting to ask where this leaves our future financially or is it none of my business how he spends his money?

None of your business I’m afraid. What money is spent child is between him and the mother.

I would be very very wary of moving in with him. Your income as a single mum with two kids working part time will absolutely plummet through the floor - no TC or UC or whatever else. Be very careful OP. You could lose a lot and if his income is tied up with previous family he may not be able to support you and you’d have to work full time or potentially do that and earn massively more/retrain to do so too.

Take home on £50,000 is just over £37,000 assuming he’s paying nothing into a personal pension.
He can’t afford private school fees.
The average cheapest is £12000 per annum, if you’re a chorister you get money off ( through the prep years ) as you are paid a salary by the church, or money off for scholarships but these only come when you’re older. There’s the odd religious school that has low fees but they are very rare.

Id ask OP, how much the fees are.
Then I’d ask him how he’s going to pay that.
Its also up to his ex partner to pay half.

Wow.
Thats actually really cheap for senior school fees.

Absolutely
Uniforms costs a lot. They don’t have stripped long socks and pin stripped trousers for nothing…you have to use the school shop. Then there’s several ties for different occasions. It’s quite exhausting just keeping tabs on it all
Mine as day pupils in prep were £20,000 and senior £25.000. Boarding in senior £40,000. But I started squinting at the bill at that point.

A salary of 50k with a very very inexpensive day place then possibly ok. But
if the Govn changes the tax situation those schools and places will be gone and the fees in others higher. It’s a risk.

He can’t afford private school, but his spending on his child is none of your business.

Hi choice and none of your business.

However, it will be a huge chunk of his salary and affect your relationship and what you can afford as a couple moving forward. You need to consider if this is acceptable to you (I am going to be honest, it would probably be a deal-breaker for me).

Me and my DH earn 50k each and got 50% discount on fees plus small mortgage. Still didn’t leave much wriggle room. Fees are set to rise and it’s a huge investment which, realistically he can’t afford. It is your business if you are planning a life together so important to get clarity now. He sounds naive about the reality.