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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is a complete waste of bloody money now?!

479 replies

TheScreams · 29/03/2023 16:09

For Christmas, DH booked us a weekend away. In reality, what that means is that at 10pm on Christmas Eve, DH realised he hadn’t bought me a bloody Christmas present and so booked an airbnb hut on a campsite for next weekend. He spoke to a relative we were staying with for Christmas and they agreed to have DS and DD for the weekend (booked from Saturday to Monday). I tried to be grateful at the time and not express that it was bloody obvious that he’d thrown it together at the last second and not given it a single second of actual thought.

He spoke to the relative a few weeks ago and they told him they can only look after DS and DD from 8pm Saturday until 8am Monday. So, we’ll get to the campsite from midnight on Saturday and will have to leave by 4am on Monday. He’s also not planned anything for the dogs so they’re coming too - so, on Sunday, our only day there, we can’t do anything that’s not dog friendly. But DH didn’t think to mention this until today.

I live in a bloody national park so I’m not sure why my Christmas present is travelling across the country, for “two nights” where I don’t get a decent night’s sleep on either and then get to have a dog walk and to sit in a pub for the day. I could bloody well do that two minutes from my house!

It’s bloody non-refundable. It feels like a complete and total waste of time and money to go on this trip. AIB a complete bitch to be completely ungrateful for this “gift” that actually just sounds like shit?

OP posts:
stayathomer · 29/03/2023 18:39

That was first first- not forest! Sorry!

BigglyBee · 29/03/2023 18:40

I'm another one who just wouldn't go. What he does with it is up to him- he could go himself, take the dog or the kids, or just resolve to put some actual thought into his wife's gift next year.
He has got what he wanted- he had something to hand over and pretend he made an effort in choosing. It's a shame that he cares so little about what his wife wants.

pigsDOfly · 29/03/2023 18:41

BreadPittt · 29/03/2023 18:02

You sound bloody selfish to me.

I'd love someone to book me a mini break.

Have you actually read the thread and the OP's posts.

What exactly do you 'love' about this 'mini break': the 8 hour round trip, camping in the cold, the late arrivals and early departures or the 2 sleepless nights?

Delphigirl · 29/03/2023 18:42

Don’t go. BUT make him go, and take the kids and the dogs. You have a weekend of glorious peace and quiet and lie ins. If he loans that it will be crap and he won’t get any sleep and he doesn’t want to go say “I know. But if you don’t go then I don’t get any present at all, and that’s not fair is it”.

if you must compromise, keep the dogs. But out he and the kids go for the weekend.

GrumpyPanda · 29/03/2023 18:45

BreadPittt · 29/03/2023 18:02

You sound bloody selfish to me.

I'd love someone to book me a mini break.

Hardly a break, having to get up at 4 a.m.

Spellcheck · 29/03/2023 18:46

Sounds like an absolute ballache to go, so I wouldn't, not with those logistics.

Also - how dare he take the high ground and get huffy because you aren't happy with a gift he clearly didn't give much thought to!

You didn't ask for it, he didn't have anything else so booked it at the last second. I don't think you're in the wrong here. Sod the money, it's spent now anyway!

Mumsanetta · 29/03/2023 18:51

TheScreams · 29/03/2023 16:49

DH has decided that he’s very upset that I don’t link it and he can’t understand why I’ve suddenly decided it’s not worth going. He doesn’t accept the answer that it’s because he’s suddenly told me I won’t get a decent night sleep on either bloody night!

If that’s his attitude I would refuse to discuss the shitty weekend away further until he acknowledged just how poor an effort he had made.

littleburn · 29/03/2023 18:51

It sounds like it'd be much more relaxing to just go on your own. A little adventure for you, no kids, no dogs, no DH ... just wine, good food and a book.

Crumpleton · 29/03/2023 18:52

Backtoreality1 · 29/03/2023 16:30

Love this! Your present so you get to take who you want!!! He can stay home and look after kids/dogs, you can take a friend with a few bottles of wine and a hamper from a local deli!!!!

Show quote history

Very tempting..

OP...I do feel for you.
Sounds like a same shite, different location break.

gerbilcrocus · 29/03/2023 18:53

stayathomer · 29/03/2023 18:38

It may be crumbs and low expectations to some, but for some of us it actually sounds like a nice weekend away. And some of us have had to leave at shit times because we don’t have child minders, it’s life unfortunately- I’ve had to drive back from weddings at 1 in the morning or forest first thing, plus if you go on a foreign holiday you generally end up getting up at three in the morning to go for a flight. What’s the difference here? Night away with the two of you. And for all the people moaning the lack of thought, it’s a night away, not a box of his favourite chocolates!!!

The difference with a foreign holiday is that you're there for at least a week generally...

And it's not really a night away is it. It's 2 half nights including a 4am start (with presumably a 3:30am wake up).

unclebuck · 29/03/2023 18:54

If DH goes and takes the kids he can leave early Sat and you can have 2 nights home alone! WHAT A GIFT!!! No dogs, no kids, no men. Just you, a nice glass of wine, a deep bath, the remote and a loooooonnngggg sleep

Anniegetyourgun · 29/03/2023 18:57

You know what they say: it's the thought that counts.

Pity there wasn't any thought involved in this "gift".

diddl · 29/03/2023 19:10

If just one of you goes it can be used for the booked times.

Is that an option?

HelloBunny · 29/03/2023 19:10

So fucking annoying... DH got me €100 bunch of roses delivered for my birthday. They were dead within days. Unlike the gorgeous jumper I was eying in a boutique when we were out the previous day. It was also 100 quid... Which he knew I wouldn’t spend as I was worried about paying the bills!

Patchworksack · 29/03/2023 19:10

Make him go with the kids - he gets a long drive with small children to consider his shortcomings, hopefully the kids and dog have a lovely weekend camping and returning to nature, you get 2 nights of blissful peace and quiet in your own bed and go shopping with his credit card for something you actually want. Reluctant rellie gets out of childcare whilst still getting kudos for offering.

bussteward · 29/03/2023 19:11

BreadPittt · 29/03/2023 18:02

You sound bloody selfish to me.

I'd love someone to book me a mini break.

It’s extremely mini. It’s 28 hours.

Hankunamatata · 29/03/2023 19:12

Send him with the kids and dogs and you have nice quiet time at home

dawngreen · 29/03/2023 19:15

You have 3 choices

1/ A change is good as a rest

2/ Insist he takes a mate and stay home

3/ Insist he sells or gives it to some one else

SleepingStandingUp · 29/03/2023 19:22

TheScreams · 29/03/2023 16:09

For Christmas, DH booked us a weekend away. In reality, what that means is that at 10pm on Christmas Eve, DH realised he hadn’t bought me a bloody Christmas present and so booked an airbnb hut on a campsite for next weekend. He spoke to a relative we were staying with for Christmas and they agreed to have DS and DD for the weekend (booked from Saturday to Monday). I tried to be grateful at the time and not express that it was bloody obvious that he’d thrown it together at the last second and not given it a single second of actual thought.

He spoke to the relative a few weeks ago and they told him they can only look after DS and DD from 8pm Saturday until 8am Monday. So, we’ll get to the campsite from midnight on Saturday and will have to leave by 4am on Monday. He’s also not planned anything for the dogs so they’re coming too - so, on Sunday, our only day there, we can’t do anything that’s not dog friendly. But DH didn’t think to mention this until today.

I live in a bloody national park so I’m not sure why my Christmas present is travelling across the country, for “two nights” where I don’t get a decent night’s sleep on either and then get to have a dog walk and to sit in a pub for the day. I could bloody well do that two minutes from my house!

It’s bloody non-refundable. It feels like a complete and total waste of time and money to go on this trip. AIB a complete bitch to be completely ungrateful for this “gift” that actually just sounds like shit?

Can u take a mate? And go for the full amount of time whilst he has the kids and dogs?

SleepingStandingUp · 29/03/2023 19:25

Sorry, just seen no reasonable female friend to take.

God I'd love a long weekend alone. I'd go. He'd stay cos he didn't sort care for the dependents. It's your present after all

TomatoSandwiches · 29/03/2023 19:25

He needs to go and take the kids and dogs with him, that's the only way I would be mildly happy and he can drop the stupid bloody faux offended act.

SophieJo · 29/03/2023 19:28

Seems odd since Christmas is 8 months away.

Kate0902900908 · 29/03/2023 19:31

I would say it straight. It’s what I did at the beginning of my marriage and this type of absolute ridiculousness doesn’t happen.

If I’m not grateful and it’s not a gift I say it straight up. Camping for me is not a good time, it’s a fun activity used to teach children about life, at my age I like comfort, luxury even, and I’m ok with that. I don’t need to sleep outside with my dogs for 2 nights as a gift. It sounds like you don’t either!

Dustybarn · 29/03/2023 19:32

I’d make the most of it. Take the kids too and have a family weekend away (so 2 full nights away) and let him know where he will be booking your substitute Christmas present weekend away.

EyesOnThePies · 29/03/2023 19:33

Go with a friend, leave him at home with kids and dog.