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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think this is a complete waste of bloody money now?!

479 replies

TheScreams · 29/03/2023 16:09

For Christmas, DH booked us a weekend away. In reality, what that means is that at 10pm on Christmas Eve, DH realised he hadn’t bought me a bloody Christmas present and so booked an airbnb hut on a campsite for next weekend. He spoke to a relative we were staying with for Christmas and they agreed to have DS and DD for the weekend (booked from Saturday to Monday). I tried to be grateful at the time and not express that it was bloody obvious that he’d thrown it together at the last second and not given it a single second of actual thought.

He spoke to the relative a few weeks ago and they told him they can only look after DS and DD from 8pm Saturday until 8am Monday. So, we’ll get to the campsite from midnight on Saturday and will have to leave by 4am on Monday. He’s also not planned anything for the dogs so they’re coming too - so, on Sunday, our only day there, we can’t do anything that’s not dog friendly. But DH didn’t think to mention this until today.

I live in a bloody national park so I’m not sure why my Christmas present is travelling across the country, for “two nights” where I don’t get a decent night’s sleep on either and then get to have a dog walk and to sit in a pub for the day. I could bloody well do that two minutes from my house!

It’s bloody non-refundable. It feels like a complete and total waste of time and money to go on this trip. AIB a complete bitch to be completely ungrateful for this “gift” that actually just sounds like shit?

OP posts:
Ihaventgottimeforthis · 29/03/2023 17:06

Oh I'd go on my own, leave him home to look after dc and dogs.

Actually maybe I would take the dog, have a nice long walk and solo lunch.

Minikievs · 29/03/2023 17:06

Willowtre1 · 29/03/2023 17:03

If I went I would only go for one night, tell him you hope he's booked something amazing there on the Saturday night- a meal or something that you wouldn't get at home, to make it worth the drive. Then come home Sunday after brunch and have a relaxing evening before kids collected Monday. Make him work to make it nice! Or just say no!

But she won't get there til midnight Saturday, as the kids aren't being looked after til 8pm and it's a 4 hour drive

Blueroses99 · 29/03/2023 17:06

Bramshott · 29/03/2023 17:03

Do you have 2 cars? If so, I'd be tempted to go down early on Sat, and he can drop the kids and join you later. Then on Monday, he can leave early and collect the kids and you can drive back much later in your own time.

This!

Funkyslippers · 29/03/2023 17:08

Yanbu. It's my big birthday this year and I think my OH is planning a surprise night away but I'd need to know it's actually worth it, ie not too far and not something I could easily do at home!

Original poster
TheScreams · 29/03/2023 17:08

Bramshott · 29/03/2023 17:03

Do you have 2 cars? If so, I'd be tempted to go down early on Sat, and he can drop the kids and join you later. Then on Monday, he can leave early and collect the kids and you can drive back much later in your own time.

Just the one car unfortunately.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 29/03/2023 17:10

Tell him to go and take the dogs and you can have lovely weekend to yourself at home?

WonderingWanda · 29/03/2023 17:10

WhoDatWhoDere · 29/03/2023 16:15

The moneys already gone whether you go or not, so I'd just refuse to go.

Or I'd tell him to take the dogs and go by hilself and enjoy the house to myself for a few night.

Get a takeaway and a film.

I think this is the best plan! It is quite thoughtless and half arsed of him.

SwimmingAgainstTheTides · 29/03/2023 17:14

Just tell him, well in advance what you would
like, next xmas, and make sure he has sorted it. So much easier.

pictoosh · 29/03/2023 17:19

No you’re right, it’s a lazy-arsed shit ‘gift’. He’s put absolutely no effort into it whatsoever, no thought, doesn’t care what you actually get out of it…just thinks he should be told it’s wonderful.
Well it’s fucking not.

Avarua2 · 29/03/2023 17:20

Can't you both renegotiate terms with the relative (assume grandparents) who are minding the DC. Thats the only factor that ruins the weekend. Dog in kennel is easy to solve.

givemushypeasachance · 29/03/2023 17:25

Is this over the Easter weekend? So presumably no school/childcare on the Monday. Can anyone else have the kids from 8am Monday for a bit to give you more time to get back? A 4am start is ridiculous!

Also only being able to take the kids from 8pm Saturday isn't a huge amount of help. I presume the family member is working or something? It's still a kind offer by them but not really enough time to make it a two night thing.

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 29/03/2023 17:27

If you're really dreading it then just tell him you don't want to go. And it does sound like the relatives are only grudgingly watching the kids, which adds another layer of misery.

My husband is the best, but he's always been absolute crap when it comes to Christmas gifts. And you know what? In the scheme of things I don't really care all that much about Christmas gifts so I told him years ago to stop buying me presents. I buy something I really want and stick it under the tree and we're both happy:)

SeatonCarew · 29/03/2023 17:35

There is no way I'd be going on this nightmare trip, it is utterly ridiculous and unworkable in so many ways. Treats and trips are supposed to be fun, not an endurance test. Pointless to throw good money and time after bad.

For the record Mr SeatonCarew thinks it's crazy too.

Decide what you want and tell him once, firmly. While you're at it tell him you want money for Christmas in the future and a small gift you've chosen in advance to open on Christmas Day. Might as well sort it all out for once and for all now. 💐

BeExcellent2EachOther · 29/03/2023 17:35

Send him with a mate and the dogs, you stay home and get a child free, dog free weekend and then you go away another time when he's organised it properly.

BenFoglesScarf · 29/03/2023 17:36

The timings do make it a bit rubbish…has your DH actually checked that the campsite will allow you to arrive at that time? Some don’t….

pinkyredrose · 29/03/2023 17:39

Tell him to go with the kids and you stay home and have a chilled weekend.

WilsonMilson · 29/03/2023 17:39

A hut on a campsite is not my idea of a nice weekend away, let alone a romantic weekend away. Sounds like hell on earth. I wouldn’t want to go even before the babysitting and dog issues.

Blossomtoes · 29/03/2023 17:39

There’s no way I’d go on those terms. Can you take the kids and have a weekend in a decent hotel later in the year?

CandlelightGlow · 29/03/2023 17:40

TheScreams · 29/03/2023 16:09

For Christmas, DH booked us a weekend away. In reality, what that means is that at 10pm on Christmas Eve, DH realised he hadn’t bought me a bloody Christmas present and so booked an airbnb hut on a campsite for next weekend. He spoke to a relative we were staying with for Christmas and they agreed to have DS and DD for the weekend (booked from Saturday to Monday). I tried to be grateful at the time and not express that it was bloody obvious that he’d thrown it together at the last second and not given it a single second of actual thought.

He spoke to the relative a few weeks ago and they told him they can only look after DS and DD from 8pm Saturday until 8am Monday. So, we’ll get to the campsite from midnight on Saturday and will have to leave by 4am on Monday. He’s also not planned anything for the dogs so they’re coming too - so, on Sunday, our only day there, we can’t do anything that’s not dog friendly. But DH didn’t think to mention this until today.

I live in a bloody national park so I’m not sure why my Christmas present is travelling across the country, for “two nights” where I don’t get a decent night’s sleep on either and then get to have a dog walk and to sit in a pub for the day. I could bloody well do that two minutes from my house!

It’s bloody non-refundable. It feels like a complete and total waste of time and money to go on this trip. AIB a complete bitch to be completely ungrateful for this “gift” that actually just sounds like shit?

Is the booking per person or is it for a property? Can your H speak to the person he made the booking with and swap your place for your 2 DC?

He can leave early Saturday and you can have the weekend to yourself doing something you actually want to do!

My DP would do this for me. We have 3 small ones so alone time is gold dust in this house.

CandlelightGlow · 29/03/2023 17:42

Alternatively, go to the booking yourself and have him look after the DC and dogs, at least you get some R&R. Take a good book or whatever you like to do and enjoy the change of scenery and free time!

Although admittedly I actively like travelling so this may not be your cup of tea.

raincamepouringdown · 29/03/2023 17:42

Send him with the children and have the weekend to yourself.

Dyslexicwonder · 29/03/2023 17:42

MissyB1 · 29/03/2023 16:21

Well it’s weird just from the point of view that you live in a national park already. Why didn’t he book a city break? And I’m afraid it’s typical for men not to sort out the child and dog care properly, my Dh always assumes that’s for me to sort 😡

DH did this 18 months ago and I am still fuming. Booked a hotel about 90 minutes away without a thought as to the arrangements for the DCs (aged just 17 and nearly 15). Dd was going though a particularly nightmare challenging stage and I was frankly embarrassed and unwilling to beg favours from her friends' parents. Reader we didn't go.

BarbaraofSeville · 29/03/2023 17:43

Unless the hut on a campsite is somewhere spectacular with a USP to make it worth the trip, how is it not just a worse version of staying at home?

You say you can walk in a national park from your own doorstep. You'd get to sleep in your own bed and not have to trek for hours at all times of day and night.

I suppose if you're being charitable, you could try and have a nice, relaxing treaty child free weekend at home, but it absolutely is not a nice Christmas gift to you, just because he chose it late on Christmas Eve. Flowers and chocolates from the petrol station would have been better.

When it's his birthday, book him the cheapest most distant Travelodge room you can find, preferably one on a motorway service station hours from home.

PlainJanePerfect · 29/03/2023 17:47

It's a present for him. He's expecting some leisurely childfree sex. My DP came with me on a work trip because I was still breastfeeding and thought that was my motivation for bringing him. So long days, lots of dealing with mgt, social event, with breaks to BF and he thinks I'm in the mood.

Dogscanteatonions · 29/03/2023 17:48

That's fucking ridiculous. A 4hr drive to arrive at midnight Saturday then up at 4am Sunday? No fucking chance would I go. You only get Sunday and no decent night's sleep at all!

To be honest I don't think I'd do this for a 2hr drive.

Thoughtless bloody gift. What's even more annoying is if he'd bookrd something on booking.com you could have got tons of options with free cancellation!

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