AIBU to think this is a complete waste of bloody money now?!

[TheScreams]

For Christmas, DH booked us a weekend away. In reality, what that means is that at 10pm on Christmas Eve, DH realised he hadn’t bought me a bloody Christmas present and so booked an airbnb hut on a campsite for next weekend. He spoke to a relative we were staying with for Christmas and they agreed to have DS and DD for the weekend (booked from Saturday to Monday). I tried to be grateful at the time and not express that it was bloody obvious that he’d thrown it together at the last second and not given it a single second of actual thought.

He spoke to the relative a few weeks ago and they told him they can only look after DS and DD from 8pm Saturday until 8am Monday. So, we’ll get to the campsite from midnight on Saturday and will have to leave by 4am on Monday. He’s also not planned anything for the dogs so they’re coming too - so, on Sunday, our only day there, we can’t do anything that’s not dog friendly. But DH didn’t think to mention this until today.

I live in a bloody national park so I’m not sure why my Christmas present is travelling across the country, for “two nights” where I don’t get a decent night’s sleep on either and then get to have a dog walk and to sit in a pub for the day. I could bloody well do that two minutes from my house!

It’s bloody non-refundable. It feels like a complete and total waste of time and money to go on this trip. AIB a complete bitch to be completely ungrateful for this “gift” that actually just sounds like shit?

That sounds so far from relaxing I'd just not go.

Actually... I'd go by myself. He can look after the kids and dogs. Now THAT sounds like heaven!!!

I feel sorry for the relative. Assume if you were staying with them that they were hosting your family for Christmas? And then they got landed with a weekend of babysitting to facilitate your DH's ill thought out present. It seems they are doing more for your Christmas present than your DH

You are not going to enjoy yourself regardless as you’re obviously annoyed at the fact it was a last minute gift and I feel like you would find fault no matter what happens.

Its really short notice but you could try and sell the tickets.

Or try and upgrade to a family size and bring the kids and have a nice surprise holiday for them and the dogs.

(Then tell DH to book you into a spa for another weekend and he can have the kids).

Not many campsites will let you arrive that late.....

You sound bloody selfish to me.

I'd love someone to book me a mini break.

Can you see if any of your friends will buy it from you and go instead? Preferably child and dog free friends who can actually enjoy the entire weekend. Then you can use the money to book somewhere else that would actually be nice for you.

"A" mini break, sure.
This mini sleep-free "break", no.

Why don't you have OP's ticket?

I wouldn't go. Just tell him it doesn't seem worth it. Instead drop the kids off on Saturday night, have a nice dinner out, go home and collect the kids on Sunday. No driving, no stressing about dogs, no camp that isn't as nice as home.

And buy your own present in future or have a no-present rule.

God, it's depressing at just how long some women's standards are... pathetically grateful for any small crumbs a man throws their way.

Low not long

A mini break that consists of two nights camping in early April, when it's bound to be freezing cold, and it's not even two full nights as they don't get there until midnight on night one, and need to be up and away by 4 am at the end. Plus they have an 8 hour round trip to get there.

And he didn't exactly book it to even the most basic standard because he fucked up the arrangements for having DC looked after and didn't even consider what they were going to do with the dog...

I'm sure the OP would be happy to stay at home and let you take her place....

YANBU, it sounds a bit shit but I'd have just called him out at the time. I'd have just said thanks but I'd prefer not to do that, would he mind cancelling and next time not doing that (forgetting a gift on the day, booking things without asking if I want to go to them to compensate and in general as it isn't something I like). I can't see why that would need to be an argument if it is a conversation between adults.

You can either go and make every effort to make the best of it (because it could easily be made into a nice trip albeit short) or tell him you don't want to, and stay at home. Not much else to do at this stage.

I think I'd keep an open mind and just go, it might be really nice. Sometimes a change of scene however short can be quite good. Don't get stuck with all the driving though.

Yes, I doubt the OP's DH has given that a moment's thought... Imagine arriving at midnight only to find you couldn't access the cabin!

Honestly, this all sounds far shitter than spending the weekend at home doing chores.

Even if it was completely not one you wanted or would enjoy?

Are you a people pleaser?

Most campsites cut off arrivals after 11pm and before 6am don't they?

So OP would be sleeping in the car for both nights.

I guess you have to suck it up and go and pretend to have a wonderful time just to save his ego though.

I don't understand this way of thinking. Why is her husband's ego the most important thing here?

I'd go on my own for the full time, leave him with kids and dog.

So not only did he buy you a shitty 'present' it's a shitty present that he get to use as well, if you actually end up going.

It's going to be a hell of a lot of stress combined with a couple of sleepless nights. And he thinks that you're the one ruining the weekend.

And as pp have pointed out if you arrive at midnight it's highly unlikely that you'll get access to the hut and you'll actually spend the night sleeping, or not sleeping in the car.

Sound like a nightmare tbh.

Ffs. He bought it in a panic at 10pm on Christmas Eve clearly with no thought whatsoever about the practicalities. This wasn't a thoughtful romantic gesture. Raise your expectations from the gutter!

I wouldn't go, if you need to be back by 8am Monday you need to leave around 3.30am to allow for any hold ups (toilet stops for example) so you have to be getting up around 3am to allow yourselves time to get up, dressed)

That means not only getting there at midnight on Saturday morning, you need at least an hour to wind down so that's 1am bed at the earliest meaning you won't be getting up until 9am or later but you have to go to bed stupidly early on Sunday because you have to get up so early.

Nope nope nope. Wouldn't be happening. For a week/2 long break, sure, this...no. It's not selfish at all, it's a ludicrous idea in the first place.

I’d not go. Sounds bloody awful.

@SpookyBlackCat

I guess you have to suck it up and go and pretend to have a wonderful time just to save his ego though.

There's people pleasing, but this is another level. What is it with the complete lack of self respect and worth with posters on this thread?

No wonder so many women are unhappy in their partnerships/marriages when they pander to their man's precious ego at every moment even when he's been thoughtless and all-round crap - it's embarrassing and pathetic.

I voted YABU, because I read 'Dog walk and pub' & that's my idea of perfect ....then I rtft and properly registered the logistics....so I recind my vote YADNBU.

It may be crumbs and low expectations to some, but for some of us it actually sounds like a nice weekend away. And some of us have had to leave at shit times because we don’t have child minders, it’s life unfortunately- I’ve had to drive back from weddings at 1 in the morning or forest first thing, plus if you go on a foreign holiday you generally end up getting up at three in the morning to go for a flight. What’s the difference here? Night away with the two of you. And for all the people moaning the lack of thought, it’s a night away, not a box of his favourite chocolates!!!