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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is a complete waste of bloody money now?!

479 replies

TheScreams · 29/03/2023 16:09

For Christmas, DH booked us a weekend away. In reality, what that means is that at 10pm on Christmas Eve, DH realised he hadn’t bought me a bloody Christmas present and so booked an airbnb hut on a campsite for next weekend. He spoke to a relative we were staying with for Christmas and they agreed to have DS and DD for the weekend (booked from Saturday to Monday). I tried to be grateful at the time and not express that it was bloody obvious that he’d thrown it together at the last second and not given it a single second of actual thought.

He spoke to the relative a few weeks ago and they told him they can only look after DS and DD from 8pm Saturday until 8am Monday. So, we’ll get to the campsite from midnight on Saturday and will have to leave by 4am on Monday. He’s also not planned anything for the dogs so they’re coming too - so, on Sunday, our only day there, we can’t do anything that’s not dog friendly. But DH didn’t think to mention this until today.

I live in a bloody national park so I’m not sure why my Christmas present is travelling across the country, for “two nights” where I don’t get a decent night’s sleep on either and then get to have a dog walk and to sit in a pub for the day. I could bloody well do that two minutes from my house!

It’s bloody non-refundable. It feels like a complete and total waste of time and money to go on this trip. AIB a complete bitch to be completely ungrateful for this “gift” that actually just sounds like shit?

OP posts:
Cheeping · 29/03/2023 19:34

SophieJo · 29/03/2023 19:28

Seems odd since Christmas is 8 months away.

🤗

Greentree1 · 29/03/2023 19:41

Just enjoy it. Relax, it wasn't what you wanted but just have fun or do you just want to be miserable? Tell him what you want next year.

Nothing2lose · 29/03/2023 19:43

Do your dogs settle well in a strange place?

could you go alone and relax in the bath or by a fire or doesn’t it even have that?

please link the Airbnb 😂

Moaning5 · 29/03/2023 19:43

Take a friend and enjoy - that’ll teach the idiot.

Fewmin on your behalf

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 29/03/2023 19:45

When is his birthday? Perfect regift opportunity.. An early one if need be.
My exh once bought me a bike for Xmas..
I was pregnant with my 6th dc. Not sure when I would have had opportunity for a bike ride if I had even reached the pedals...

thelionthewitchtheaudacityofTHISbitch · 29/03/2023 19:45

I agree with other PPs - he didnt think at all about what you might like, regarded it as a child-free sex weekend, but couldn't be bothered to organise it properly. Hence the relatives offer of a weekend's childcare being minimised to become close to useless. (I am also assuming that is his parents and they almost felt obliged to help).

My ex organised a "big" weekend for one of my birthdays - up at the crack of dawn to be flown (just me) in a old airplane. I was travel-sick afterwards - no aerobatics because I had to say No very firmly - but even so I dont do well with that type of activity. There might have been a boat trip next - I cant really remember - before finally getting to the very luxury hotel for a massive meal. I was asleep at the table nearly. At the time we both worked long hours in busy environments. It really was all the things he wanted to do but didnt quite have the courage. There is no way it was ever what he thought I might like. No sex that night was quite a big deal but I was knackered.

So I would be firm - lovely idea DH for you, the DC, and the dog. See you Monday morning!

Ohlalahair · 29/03/2023 19:49

Take the kids with you would be the logical thing?

Ohlalahair · 29/03/2023 19:51

Life seems too short and expensive not to make the most of it. Just book him something you’d like to do for his Christmas this year! Then you’ll be evens 🤣

Passthechocolatesplease · 29/03/2023 19:51

Is there a family member who could take your children for the whole time?
I’d put the dogs in kennels if you have no one to look after them.
if you really don’t want to go could you advertise it on Facebook at a reduced price and use the money to do something together at a more acceptable location.
I know you’re annoyed with you husband but the people who said they would look after your children when he booked it have let you down too, I think they’re being rather mean, if they had stuck with the original offer it would have saved a lot of hassle.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 29/03/2023 19:53

Tell him to go there with the kids and the dogs, and you book some spa treatments and enjoy a peaceful weekend.

Chickenwing2 · 29/03/2023 19:53

I think it sounds good fun, if you try and look at it positively- a night somewhere different with a husband that did buy you a gift.

It would be hurtful and ungrateful not to go.

Namechangingagain111 · 29/03/2023 19:55

Send the kids to the rellies anyway, send your DH and dogs away for the weekend and you enjoy a lovely quiet house for the weekend.
I'm with you - I'd rather have no present than one that just isn't enjoyable (and with literally no thought put into it.....)

Ames85 · 29/03/2023 19:55

Unfortunately the money is spent now whatever you do. I would just stay at home. If you will have a nicer weekend not
going, I’d just write it off and have a chat about no surprise bookings in future

Moveoverdarlin · 29/03/2023 20:00

What’s the point? I would say you’re not going but you’ll take the equivalent cost in John Lewis (or whatever floats your boat) vouchers. What a waste of time.

GatoradeMeBitch · 29/03/2023 20:00

Firstly check that you will actually be allowed to arrive at midnight and leave at 3am. Some campsites close the gates between certain times. Will there be someone there to check you in, and to speak to if the place is hopping with silverfish or the loo is blocked?

If you're head over heels with your wonderful DH and will grab at any chance to be alone with him, go. If you're tired of his shit, send him and the dog off by themselves. And use the joint account to buy yourself a belated Christmas present.

Tiddlywinkly · 29/03/2023 20:06

Another one who is pointing out the fact I doubt that you can check in and out at the proposed times.😞

Original poster
TheScreams · 29/03/2023 20:13

Sorry, I’ve been doing nursery pick up and bedtimes etc.

We can check in and out at those times (I’ve checked, he didn’t). The place doesn’t even have bloody electricity!

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 29/03/2023 20:14

WhoDatWhoDere · 29/03/2023 16:15

The moneys already gone whether you go or not, so I'd just refuse to go.

Or I'd tell him to take the dogs and go by hilself and enjoy the house to myself for a few night.

Get a takeaway and a film.

Just say no!

Snugglemonkey · 29/03/2023 20:15

SpookyBlackCat · 29/03/2023 16:40

Yes, it’s a shit present. Is there anything nice to do there? I guess you won’t even be able to go out to a nice restaurant because of the dogs.

I guess you have to suck it up and go and pretend to have a wonderful time just to save his ego though.

Fuck that!

Brefugee · 29/03/2023 20:17

I'd not bother going.

starfishmummy · 29/03/2023 20:19

Personally I'd tell DH he was staying at home to look after kids, dog and house and I'd habe a peaceful break by myself with nice (but easy to make) meals and a pile of books to read.

nomoremerlot · 29/03/2023 20:20

starfishmummy · 29/03/2023 20:19

Personally I'd tell DH he was staying at home to look after kids, dog and house and I'd habe a peaceful break by myself with nice (but easy to make) meals and a pile of books to read.

This

Original poster
TheScreams · 29/03/2023 20:21

The main reasons I’m so pissed off is that our money is completely shared (I’m actually the high earner) so the thought that goes into gifts really is the only part of the gift that means anything because I’m contributing to the cost just as much as he is and also because this “gift” requires so much effort on my part (for example, having to express enough milk to last DD while we’re away) so the pay off of 28 hours of childfree time (resulting in no decent sleep) just seems ridiculous.

What I would like is a weekend away that lasts a bloody weekend, with electricity and inside toilets. I don’t think that’s too much to bloody ask.

OP posts:
GatoradeMeBitch · 29/03/2023 20:31

Don't bloody go. Every update you give it sounds worse and worse, and you won't enjoy it. Even if this place is heaven on earth for dogwalkers you're going to be too knackered to appreciate it.

Elsanore · 29/03/2023 20:33

I totally agree it's a shite thoughtless present.

I would also add, I think the relative who told him they would have the kids has shafted him/ you a bit as well. If, during the panic on Xmas eve they said they would have the dc Saturday till Monday it's a bit shit to then say actually it's 8pm Sat till 8am Monday. At that point your DH should have changed the plan because that totally spoils it.

You said they told him that info a few weeks ago so again his fault for not dealing with the implications of that straight away.