Getting married on my first anniversary

[Savingforahome]

I got married to my husband last year after many years together and a year after a major health scare which made us realise how special life is.
A close family member who was involved in my wedding announced her engagement before my wedding and I couldn't have been happier for her, she's wanted this for so long I am honestly thrilled and he is perfect for her. They went to view her perfect venue and I heard all about it, and then found out that they booked it the same date I had my wedding but the following year. So this will be on our one year anniversary. Now if it was the second year, third whatever it wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest. But to say I was hurt is an understatement. I want to spend my first anniversary with my husband. Now to make it even more awkward she asked me to be bridesmaid, and we are close family where I have to go. So I will spend half of the day no where near my husband as I will be with her.

Husband kicked off and hasn't spoken about it in months. Everyone else is acting like it isn't a big deal. It just feels like no one has thought about my feelings at all.

AIBU?

Just to clarify we will be going to the wedding, I will be bridesmaid but we will be leaving after the dinner (I have been open and honest with the bride although I think she was upset, but she understood)

Newsflash, no one cares about your anniversary but you and your husband and they never will unless you throw a party to celebrate the big milestones. If you want to go something just the 2 of you then do so, but your family won't get it

You are being massively unreasonable, you don't own a date and nor does the entire world revolve around you .
Grow up!!

You could have double anniversary dates in the future.

"Everyone else is acting like it isn't a big deal".

There will be a reason for that and that's because it isn't a big deal for anyone else. It's annoying for you, of course it is but why not have a really special day with your husband another time and try and think how you would have felt if it were the other way round and people had dismissed your wedding because it was on someone else's anniversary?

Were you a Bridezilla by any chance?

You can't own a day... totally ridiculous.

You are being so fucking ridiculous.

Absolutely ridiculous.

This must be a reverse as OP has not responded.
I like PP suggestions of having your anniversary celebrations on a different day as they have correctly said, you don’t own the date. Wedding season here is Apr-Sep although we have an upcoming one in February, due to venue being v.limited on dates, they had to accept that date otherwise wait years for a summer wedding.

This takes being precious to a whole new level.

Totally ridiculous

YABVVVVVVVVU

Ridiculous in fact.

I do hope the bride sees this and chooses someone to be a bridesmaid who is actually pleased for her and wants to be there.

I'm on MN far too much q a lot and this has to be one of the most ludicrous things in a long while.

I went to a wedding on my first wedding anniversary too. It was summer time so peak wedding season. It didn’t bother me AT ALL. Think we went out the day after for a special meal and spa etc. In the nicest way possible, you need to get over yourself. Don’t get stressed about it, enjoy the day. What nicer way to celebrate your marriage than going to another wedding.

Please tell me this is a 'reverse'...talk about precious. If I was the new bride-to-be you would be struck off the wedding guest list yet alone be a bridesmaid.

Does anyone ever suspect that some of these unhinged threads are just a Daily Mail intern churning them out to generate content?

If you have a wedding with a large number of guests the chances of it being held on someone's birthday/wedding anniversary/the anniversary of someone dying etc is always going to be a possibility.

I'm sorry to say it (and I'm not mean, just realistic), but no one gives a toss about your first anniversary, especially family. For many this wedding is another occasion to spend money on and get drunk- as cruel as it might sound 😬Once it's gone, no one will give a toss about their first anniversary either. It's more like private celebration, I never send cards or texts on someone's anniversary, unless it's big one and I get invited to party.

Unfortunately as adults we need to realise life doesn't revolve around us. I'm pregnant with my first, and my SIL is due 3 months after me. It's life, you can't just ask people to stop living, so you can have your moment. Once you learn this, life will get much easier. Otherwise you will be living feeling like everyone is "stealing your thunder".

So I will spend half of the day no where near my husband

Anyone else picturing a concussed ducking searching for its mum?

You (& your DH!) are being hugely unreasonable and extremely precious! And to leave after the meal is very ignorant when it's for such a ridiculous reason. My BM had to leave our wedding after the meal because she had the lead role in a show - but she came back later for the dancing. Seriously, give yourself a shake! 🙄

I can't wait for your post in 3 years time saying DH forgot your anniversary OP

Yes you are. Celebrate the day before or after. As you must know, planning a wedding is tricky without accommodating everyone’s date preferences

YABVU

It isn't a big deal

Catch yourself on

What does reverse mean?

Ps - yabu, just make a special day for you and DH the day before or after, no big deal

Is she getting married on a Saturday, OP?

Which means you didn't? It would have been a Friday? So celebrate your anniversary the day before.

Hope the freelance journalism's going well, btw.

I actually think I've heard it all now. It's very strange you feel this way, it's not normal in any shape or form. What are you going to do to 'celebrate ' after you leave?

Turn it round. How would you have felt if your bridesmaid had left straight after the dinner?