Aren't hospital supposed to feed me??

[Elephantinthemoon]

Came to A&E this morning with my 1 year old, got here for 10am. He's very poorly and we were quickly told we'd be in overnight. I expected this so I'd brought an overnight bag but only a few snacks for baby, and his water bottle nothing for myself and no meals. I'm on my own so couldn't carry a lot and based on previous experience thought I'd be fed in the hospital because I'm breastfeeding?

I am on my own, and have no one who can bring me food or anything.

We spent 7 hrs in a&e waiting to be taken to the ward. Absolute nightmare and he got through his snacks very fast (crisps, cheese, Ella bar) but I was hopeful we'd be taken to the ward "soon".

At 4pm I finally got a bit fed up and asked the nurse if he could be given something to eat. Other than his snacks he'd not eaten anything since breakfast at 8am. He'd skipped lunch because we were stuck in a & e.

Tbh the nurse seemed really shocked I was asking like I'd not brought him anything? But thing is i just hadn't expected to.be waiting so long! I thought we'd be put on a ward and he'd be fed there. Anyway she did manage to "find" him a sandwich but I wasn't offered anything.

At 6pm we were finally transferred to a room on a ward but it didn't even have water in it. I have now asked for water.

I'm breastfeeding and when we were last in hospital overnight (at christmas) I'd been fed once on the ward because of this. So this was my expectation again. However no one has mentioned this this time (they have seen me breastfeeding him) and I've felt too awkward to ask because he's really unwell and I feel like either sounds selfish for me to just want to know if I can have food for myself!! Plus he's 20 months so not exactly a newborn so I'm not sure I still should be fed 🤔

So basically...I've not eaten since 9am this morning. I can't go to the cafe or shop in the hospital because I can't leave my 1 year old on his own. He's not in a fit state to come with me.

I'd of thought there'd atleast be a vending machine?! But I've checked and nothing.

How do single mums do this? Not everyone has relatives who are willing to bring food in!! And for the record I can't believe they don't feed ALL mums who have a poorly baby in hospital. Breastfeeding or not. It's honestly hard enough having a sick baby without also going without food until god knows when.

Thankfully my partner will be able to visit tomorrow but not until lunch time so I'm in for a very long time running on water only.

@Toddlerteaplease So if I take food for someone in hospital, then I should take food for everyone in the hospital otherwise it is not fair? Oh for goodness sake how ridiculous.

My daughter was admitted with croup at 15 months and I was offered breakfast because I was breastfeeding her. However the staff did visibly eye roll when I turned down a bottle and told them I was breastfeeding!

That seems sensible. When I was admitted with DS last year there was tea and toast for parents at breakfast time but nothing else for the rest of the day or night. If you missed breakfast it was hard luck. The toaster lived on the trolley and was physically removed from the ward once breakfast was over.

Hope your little one is doing well OP and that you're either home or at least managed to sort some food. It is terrible if they're saying you can't leave the ward but also aren't providing any food, what are you supposed to do?! Sure a partner/friend/family can perhaps bring some in but it's not ideal especially if you're in for a few days to have convenience food that you can't store in a fridge or heat up; I know you'd survive on it but it's hard being in hospital with your child, the lack of sleep, the stress, the boredom let's be honest mixed in with also not being able to properly relax.

We have been lucky that they've always asked whichever of us has been in with DS whether we want toast, a sandwich or something hot- they also say its fine to pop to the shop too or whatever. I did find it odd though the children's wards have no child sized toilets or potty, but a thread for another day lol.

Just to say my dd needed a special diet, which the ward was 100% unable to provide. We did manage to get protein drinks on prescrition, but she need completely smooth purees, like early weaning food, and they couldn't seem to get that once, in a week. So when I was going to find food, I was desperately also trying to find smooth yoghurts and baby purees to feed her - the PATIENT.

But I do want to shout out to amazing nhs staff.

My teenger is needle phobic and the wonderful play therapist at the hospital has been working with her for a few weeks to get her to the poin she can have some blood tests that she needs. Teen dd is highly anxious and doesn't like missing school, and hospital is in different town to school. Play therapist can only do 9-4, so any appointment means a huge chunk of missed school.
She has been amazing working round teachers strike days and late afternoon appointments for dd.
Next week is school holidays, play therapist has changed her work day in order to come in on a day when we are there to do the blood test.
Honestly I could have kissed her, it was such a lovely thing to do for dd.

I want to nominate her for some kind of award because she has been SO amazing with dd.

You can talk to pals about the play therapist, it's not just for negative experiences x

Oh thank you!
I think I will.

I actually asked to be referred to her because I had heard about another teen that she had worked with and been amazing.
So it isn't just my dd!

I think her point was that parents on their ward regardless of religion are not supplied with food as a general rule including parents in a similar position to OP who have not been able to get food easily for whatever reason but that during this period of fasting they supplied food to parents coming out of the fast but made no similar gesture to other parents on the ward who had not had food albeit that their fast was neither intentional nor religious.

It was not a case of begrudging Muslim parents food after there fast and more a case of why couldn’t they have provided food to any parent on the ward who had been unable to eat for an extended period of time (such as situation OP and other posters have experienced).

That definitely is the expectation in our hospital with babies and toddlers

So much ignorance. Muslims don't 'come out of the fast' at 3am. Fasting ends at sunset, currently at 7.30am. So those Muslims who were at the hospital in the middle of the night wouldn't be eating for at least 14 hours. They won't be able to go to the cafe at 7am for toast.

Yes, ideally everyone should be fed but if you can't see why the chaplain may have taken pity on some people who had a limited window to eat and drink something before sunrise then I pity you.

*sunset currently at 7.30pm

I spent 6 hours in a and e with my 1 yr old 2 days before Xmas, definitely not snack trolley, same recently spent 4 hours for myself after an I jury but adult a and e at least has a vending machine.

@Shz So it is the chaplaincy's responsibility to offer food to everyone who has not been fed? Where does this end?

The chaplaincy are providing food for the fasters. Many people donate to the chaplaincy to ensure food is provided for the fasters in hospital in Ramadan. At least the others can drink even if they were not able to get access to food.

The chaplaincy are unlikely to have unlimited resources where they can go round feeding everyone in the hospital who have not been fed along with providing food and drink for the fasters. Completely understandable why they can't make a similar 'gesture' to the non fasters.

Well then by your logic then nobody needed any food provided at all as those observing ramadan knew when they fast ended and could have brought food and water with them in preparation just as well as other parents could have done - or like other parents stuck there without food for just as long the fasters could have had the same access to water after their fast ended.

Unless all the parents where in a simple position to the OP where it wasn’t possible to access food for 24 hours

The argument seems pointless - and as those observing Ramadan could easily bring food with them to break fast then the chaplaincy could have ultimately put the money to better use

You really seem determined to miss the point. Everybody is saying nobody should be left without food or access to food for extended periods of time. You seem to feel only religious observed fasters deserve food after extended periods without.

@Shz You seem really determined to misunderstand. Look back at my response to the OP. I offered to bring food for her because she had been without for an extended period of time. She was not fasting for religious reasons.

The chaplaincy can use their funds however they wish. A lot of fellow fasters donate huge amounts to the hospital chaplaincies in Ramadan to provide food for the fasters. It doesn't make any difference whether you think the money could be put to better use. People are not going to stop donating to feed the fasters and food will not stop being provided to the fasters in hospital in Ramadan.

And you seem really determined to miss the point that those observing Ramadan have a very limited window to eat and drink something. They can't head over to the cafe when it opens at 7am or whatever.

This appears to mean nothing to you?

Meh, those observing Ramadan also know they can break their fast for a variety of reasons, some of which mean they'd need to do it another time, others don't need a 'catch up'.

Very likely, caring for a child in hospital with very limited means to get food, where the lack of food/drink puts the carer at risk, would count (if the person involved wants to use that exemption of course, its their choice if they do not).

Hospitals should either: provide basic food for parents who cannot leave their children as there isn't sufficient care if they do - or they should provide sufficient care that parents can go and find food. I know which is cheaper.

@WiddlinDiddlin fortunately the chaplaincy are providing free food for the fasters to help them complete their fasts. Fellow fasters are more than happy to donate the money needed to provide this service.

@Ktime Muslims aren't eating constantly 😒 its just iftar and suhoor with your option of a snack in between. But most people are doing the break of the fast the fast with water and dates,pray magrib, make dua, eat iftar , pray isha. Not stuff yourself when fasting is complete haha from sunset to sunrise and pray fajr absolutely bloated and stuffed hahaha 😆

Anyway back to the topic in hand.

I hope things are better now that covid is over.

My kid is due some surgery this year and will be an inpatient. So will see what things are like then- this will be at a major childrens hospital 2 hours from home and not the local one, so will see if the food situation is any better. But luckily she is 8 years old so ok to leave her if needed.

Exactly! The comment saying Muslims eat all night is woefully ignorant.

Get in touch if you need help. I am near a major children's hospital and happy to bring food etc so you can stay with your daughter.

Actually, she said the hospital was an hour away from their home, and they have multiple children (including the 1 year old's twin), so 'bundling the kids up' isn't necessarily a quick and easy thing to do, especially for a 2 hour round trip.

That's what I said, he was with the other kids I didn't say it was a quick thing to do but if OP needs food, she needs food. Bundle up the kids in the car, drop off food at the ward and go back home with the kids.

Wow some of you are so fucking catty to a tired mum of a baby who is having a scary medical issue.

yes, you should be fed OP. I hope your other half sorts you out in the morning.