Aren't hospital supposed to feed me??

[Elephantinthemoon]

Came to A&E this morning with my 1 year old, got here for 10am. He's very poorly and we were quickly told we'd be in overnight. I expected this so I'd brought an overnight bag but only a few snacks for baby, and his water bottle nothing for myself and no meals. I'm on my own so couldn't carry a lot and based on previous experience thought I'd be fed in the hospital because I'm breastfeeding?

I am on my own, and have no one who can bring me food or anything.

We spent 7 hrs in a&e waiting to be taken to the ward. Absolute nightmare and he got through his snacks very fast (crisps, cheese, Ella bar) but I was hopeful we'd be taken to the ward "soon".

At 4pm I finally got a bit fed up and asked the nurse if he could be given something to eat. Other than his snacks he'd not eaten anything since breakfast at 8am. He'd skipped lunch because we were stuck in a & e.

Tbh the nurse seemed really shocked I was asking like I'd not brought him anything? But thing is i just hadn't expected to.be waiting so long! I thought we'd be put on a ward and he'd be fed there. Anyway she did manage to "find" him a sandwich but I wasn't offered anything.

At 6pm we were finally transferred to a room on a ward but it didn't even have water in it. I have now asked for water.

I'm breastfeeding and when we were last in hospital overnight (at christmas) I'd been fed once on the ward because of this. So this was my expectation again. However no one has mentioned this this time (they have seen me breastfeeding him) and I've felt too awkward to ask because he's really unwell and I feel like either sounds selfish for me to just want to know if I can have food for myself!! Plus he's 20 months so not exactly a newborn so I'm not sure I still should be fed 🤔

So basically...I've not eaten since 9am this morning. I can't go to the cafe or shop in the hospital because I can't leave my 1 year old on his own. He's not in a fit state to come with me.

I'd of thought there'd atleast be a vending machine?! But I've checked and nothing.

How do single mums do this? Not everyone has relatives who are willing to bring food in!! And for the record I can't believe they don't feed ALL mums who have a poorly baby in hospital. Breastfeeding or not. It's honestly hard enough having a sick baby without also going without food until god knows when.

Thankfully my partner will be able to visit tomorrow but not until lunch time so I'm in for a very long time running on water only.

@Quas Is not so much that they've been fasting. It's that we don't provide food for parents. Other than a voucher for the canteen. So to have some parents given food, and others not, it's not fair.

Toast and hot drinks available though.

REALLY??? AGAIN??

Is it so hard tro understand that it may not be possible for the dh to 'pop' in???

As I had said several times when we wer in hospital, I was either 50 minutes drive or 1.5 hours drive away (regional hospital in one case and the only overnight children's provision in the county in the other case)
And I had the car. We only had one car!

My daughter lives in a ward. In 2 years we have never been fed ( parent) she does not eat so that’s why she doesn’t but not once have I eaten hospital food.
Our policy is however that breast feeding mums are fed. Used to wind me up a bit that a breast feeding mum who was in 2 days would get 6 meals and those in 2 years would never get anything.

Thread’s not about you though. OP said he didn’t come because he had the other kids. Most people would just bundle up the kids and bring them along.

Yes and then another time posters on here are moaning and whining about whole families being in hospital and treating it like a day out FFS make up your bloody minds.

she said very clearly that he was not able to come in until lunchtime.

There may be 100 reasons, but it is not always possible for the dh to just 'pop' in.
And we know nothing about the other kids or their needs.
Or how far away the hospital is from home etc etc.

It just really is unbelievable that people have so little imagination that they cannot imagine why her dh doesn't just drop everything and bring her food.

@Toddlerteaplease but you specifically mentioned how it was unfair that those who had been fasting were given food while others were not.

Fasting has nothing to do with this issue of people not having access to food in hospitals so don't begrudge those who are given food because they fasted claiming it is 'unfair' on those who can eat and drink all day.

Dyslexicwonder

We could list the names of the hospitals where there AREN'T sandwiches available, but obviously we are all wrong, becuase you work in a children's ward and know better

@Elephantinthemoon if you are still struggling for food, please PM me and if I am nearby I will bring food/drinks for you.

I wonder in how many other developed nations a discussion on this topic would run for 25 pages.

And I don’t find it difficult to understand why the mother of a one year old having a seizure didn’t find the time to prepare a picnic before heading to A&E.

If parents are necessary on children's wards to care for children 24/7, they need to be fed. Ultimately it's much cheaper than employing more staff so children can be adequately cared for without their parents there. Hospitals can't demand that parents stay (some won't be able to, although clearly most will if they can, especially in the OP's position) so they are somewhat dependent on parents' goodwill.

I'm sorry OP and I hope your Child gets better very quickly. I work for the NHS and do get fed up of NHS bashing because we're all working double time for half time wages - or so it seems - because everywhere is so short staffed, but I think that this is unacceptable.

Firstly, no patients are fed in A and E because it's not considered "An inpatient ward" and technically, no-one is meant to be there for more than four hours - now, obviously, in the current climate, this is no longer the case and that policy should be revised. Where I work, the ED keeps loads of sandwiches and has facilities for making tea/coffee/toast and sometimes breakfast cereals too, which is better than nothing, but not ideal.

The policy where I work is that Breastfeeding Mums of children of up to a year old get fed, but if your child is over 12 months, or you're not breastfeeding, you don't get fed. HOWEVER, there should still be arrangements for you to get food! Whether that be a well stocked parents room, vending machines, staff looking after child while parent goes to get something - doesn't really matter, but there should be some mechanism for parents getting fed without needing a student nurse to take pity on them and find them a sandwich!

All patients should get three meals a day - the missing breakfast was unacceptable, although patients sometimes miss their first meal if they're not transferred to the ward in time for it (hence your child not being given dinner last night - but again, there should be arrangements for late arrivals to be fed). I think you should ask the nurses what the arrangements are for parents getting food and ask them to make sure that your child doesn't miss any meals from now on. If you wanted to escalate this to PALS, or even a formal complaint, I don't think that this would be unreasonable.

I work in adult medicine, but it drives me mad that wards are not sufficiently staffed to allow nurses and HCAs to actually feed patients who are unable to feed themselves

We have other children, including his twin. He's had to be at home to a) work from home, b) pick up older children from school and put them to bed. By the time we realised the situation that we weren't being put on the ward until this evening and I wasn't going to be fed, he was at home with the other kids and it was bedtime. We are an hour from the hospital as well. He's coming tomorrow once school run is done and he's taken twin to an unrelated appointment.

This posted by OP yesterday morning is pretty comprehensive. Dad was at home with the 1 yr old twin and at least one other child and this morning had to take that twin, after the other child's school run, for a different appointment. They live an hour away.

Perhaps we can just accept the dad was doing his best and couldn't nip over with a sandwich for mum.

@Quas, my point is that it's unfair to give food to one group of people and not others. Nothing to do with fasting or not. Either we provide for all parents or for none.

Nobody had had anything to eat- some were fasting for religious reasons, others because they had no access to food! That’s why unfair only to give food to the ones who chose not to eat during the day.

@Jadebanditchillipepper also historically patients waiting in A&E were discouraged from eating and drinking so that patients heading for emergency surgery wouldn't have full stomachs putting them at risk of aspiration pneumonia.

The whole waiting room was effectively kept nil by mouth - in fact I remember as a child seeing signs saying 'No Eating No drinking' in the local 'Casualty'

The difference is that the people fasting hadn’t eaten or drunk anything since 3.30/4am. Of course it’s good for all too eat but perhaps their need was greater?

well if they were eating all night up to 4 am they’d eaten more recently than someone who slept all night and came to hospital before breakfast!

What an ignorant comment. Muslims don’t eat all night up to 4am. People have jobs, kids. They have to get to bed at a reasonable time and then get up at 3am to have a quick breakfast and pray. What is the matter with you?

So they still ate at 3am, unlike non Muslims, who were asleep! I don’t get what your issue is?

@Elephantinthemoon - apologies, but I have only read your posts, so maybe someone else has suggested this, but could you order food using Just Eat or Uber Eats?

I hope your dc feels better soon.

@NeverApologiseNeverExplain so you’re saying the non-Muslims hadn’t had breakfast? Or was everyone there was there at 3am?

Yes. When I compared the fasting Muslims who ate at 3 am to non Muslims who had come to the hospital before breakfast, I meant that the non-Muslims had not had breakfast at the hospital. Because this entire thread is about people who have not been able to get food in hospitals 🤷‍♀️.

@NeverApologiseNeverExplain and do you understand that the people fasting won’t be able to drink a drop of water or a bite of food from sunrise until sunset, so around 16 hours?

Yet you begrudge them some food that the chaplain got?