Aren't hospital supposed to feed me??

[Elephantinthemoon]

Came to A&E this morning with my 1 year old, got here for 10am. He's very poorly and we were quickly told we'd be in overnight. I expected this so I'd brought an overnight bag but only a few snacks for baby, and his water bottle nothing for myself and no meals. I'm on my own so couldn't carry a lot and based on previous experience thought I'd be fed in the hospital because I'm breastfeeding?

I am on my own, and have no one who can bring me food or anything.

We spent 7 hrs in a&e waiting to be taken to the ward. Absolute nightmare and he got through his snacks very fast (crisps, cheese, Ella bar) but I was hopeful we'd be taken to the ward "soon".

At 4pm I finally got a bit fed up and asked the nurse if he could be given something to eat. Other than his snacks he'd not eaten anything since breakfast at 8am. He'd skipped lunch because we were stuck in a & e.

Tbh the nurse seemed really shocked I was asking like I'd not brought him anything? But thing is i just hadn't expected to.be waiting so long! I thought we'd be put on a ward and he'd be fed there. Anyway she did manage to "find" him a sandwich but I wasn't offered anything.

At 6pm we were finally transferred to a room on a ward but it didn't even have water in it. I have now asked for water.

I'm breastfeeding and when we were last in hospital overnight (at christmas) I'd been fed once on the ward because of this. So this was my expectation again. However no one has mentioned this this time (they have seen me breastfeeding him) and I've felt too awkward to ask because he's really unwell and I feel like either sounds selfish for me to just want to know if I can have food for myself!! Plus he's 20 months so not exactly a newborn so I'm not sure I still should be fed 🤔

So basically...I've not eaten since 9am this morning. I can't go to the cafe or shop in the hospital because I can't leave my 1 year old on his own. He's not in a fit state to come with me.

I'd of thought there'd atleast be a vending machine?! But I've checked and nothing.

How do single mums do this? Not everyone has relatives who are willing to bring food in!! And for the record I can't believe they don't feed ALL mums who have a poorly baby in hospital. Breastfeeding or not. It's honestly hard enough having a sick baby without also going without food until god knows when.

Thankfully my partner will be able to visit tomorrow but not until lunch time so I'm in for a very long time running on water only.

I would guess that this is because they feed their patients - which isn't really surprising. If you are BFing you are being fed to feed the baby.

I think the main take away from this thread is (1) there needs to be better communication to parents about this and (2) there needs to be accessible paid for food provision in the hospital for parent carers.

Yeah, your reply hasn’t made the original one look any better. But fair enough, let’s keep expectations super low and all on the patients and carers. Sounds great. Maybe you could reply again and for a third time all about how a mum of a baby having seizures could have behaved in a way conducive to getting basic needs met in an unfamiliar institution. I’m sure all she needs is a few practical pointers and barbed insults from you to figure out how to win at (mother of very sick baby in a hospital) life. Maybe you could get involved with PALS and really remind people at their most vulnerable where they’re going wrong, let’s not miss an opportunity!

Our big hospital there was talk of a Tesco express going in. There's a few housing estates dotted around built on fields, no shops so it was welcomed with open arms. Don't know what happened but the idea died.

I know children's wards are miles away from the league of friends café and gift shop, they're only open during the day. I think there's vending machines in the staff canteen. Our health board is in special measures so can't see anything happening now

The thing is, it’s an unusual situation for the patient but it’s not for the hospital. Even if we want to be completely callous towards patients and carers (as it seems a few people on this thread would like to) It must waste more time having to deal with people asking for food, having to get them a slice of toast etc etc than just thinking ‘this seems to happen often and is avoidable, how about we provide upfront information or (steady on, now) assistance.

What’s really scary is the patients who have no advocates. I wonder how often lack of hydration : nutrition is a root cause of adverse outcomes. I bet that rarely makes the notes.

‘The patient never asked for food or water so how would we know they needed it?’

When my dd was in hospital at 18 months, I was not fed. I had access to free tea and coffee in a parents room and cam heat up food. My mum packed me breakfast bars and my husband came as soon as he could with lunch and dinner for us to eat. When my son at 3 months was admitted I was given dinner and breakfast the next morning before he was discharged. I think it's very much hospital dependent and they have different rules regarding age of the child.

In the mean time you need to ask another parent on the ward to keep an eye on him whilst you grab some feed Alternatively ask a nurse if you will be fed or can nip to grab some food. Many will be accommodating and grab you a sandwich etc.

When my daughter was admitted for 3 nights around 5 years ago she was fed, but I got nothing the whole time I was there. There was a room where I could make tea or coffee. Luckily my partner came up during the day and I went and grabbed food and one morning I told them I was going to Costa in the main hospital and took her with me. Maybe ask them what you are supposed to do? X

YADNBU

when you're kid is ill/ having a fit or whatever.
We dont have time to run around for half an hour packing lunch.

You get to A and E as fast as possible.

And even when you go to A and E.

You can prepare for a 4-6 wait but if that turns into a 12 hour wait or even longer then what?

And during covid they would only let one parent in.

It was really difficult. They should have some easy way for parents to get food if needed.

I was left without food after having my second baby, from toast at 8am until the evening as they ‘didn’t have enough left and had forgotten about saving me some’ - I was later brought an apple and a very stale sandwich about 9pm when I mentioned about 7pm I hadn’t had lunch to tea. They were short staffed and I’d have a difficult birth so walking wasn’t easy and couple leave my baby.

That really wasn't what I was saying, I was giving praise to the local hospital canteen (when it's open).

I haven't had to be in a situation where I couldn't leave the bedside but am hopeful OP has been able to go to the canteen and it's good and DH has been able to drop off snacks. I spend a lot of time in hospital with relatives dying and my medical MSc so appreciate good services.

Fair enough, thanks for the reply

‘Seizures’ sounds the same whether someone spells them as seizures or siezures, so I’m pretty sure the hospital staff would understand. Correcting spelling on MN is always a dick move.

😂😂😂

Well my daughter has again been brought up by ambulance due to uncontrolled seizures brought on by her period. She has had one rescue med already today so can't have another. They have taken bloods still waiting to see if it's clear. They aren't keeping her in because they are overwhelmed with Scarlett fever sepsis and flu throughout the hospital and feel she will be safer at home. But just tell us to ring another ambulance if she gets worse and go through the whole process again 🤦🤦🤦

I think if your baby is being solely breastfed, then the hospital provide the food to the mum, and the mum provides the food to the baby via breast milk. If the baby, or toddler is old enough to be fed food from the hospital then they don’t need to feed the mum. They don’t supply 2 people with food for one patient if that makes sense. It is ridiculous how difficult they make it for you to get your own food though.

Nonsense I have worked on children's wards for 20 years there are always sandwiches available (granted not v. nice ones). There is usually toast available too.

Not on the two occasions that my children have been hospitalised in the last year, and not for the dozens of parents who have posted sharing their experiences on this thread. Have you read it?

Firstly I hope your DC are ok now. If you were at a hospital close to me, I would have brought food for you and your DC.

@Toddlerteaplease how is providing food for the people who have been fasting unfair on those who have not been fasting? Those who have been fasting can't even have a sip of water.

I bought water for people at the end of their fast. In order to be fair, does this mean that the people who can drink freely all day should also be given water?

@Dyslexicwonder I think it must vary so much. I was in a paeds ward today and I can assure you they did offer tea/coffee, milkshakes for the kids, sandwiches, and I know the A and E does marmite and toast as I had it about two months ago! In our local hospital hydration is taken very seriously, there's water dispensers everywhere, the tea/coffee and drinks trolley comes several times a day and HCAs are expected to keep the water fresh and topped up at all times and get reprimanded if they don't do this, it's part of the patient checklist. I love our local hospital.

Well I hope you are a little less dismissive of your patients if they tell you things that are outside your personal experience than you have been of the numerous posters here who have had difficulties accessing suitable food for themselves and their children in hospital. So it's not a problem where you've worked? Great. But believe it or not, things are different in different hospitals* and it definitely is* a problem for lots of parents. I have been in and out of various children's wards with my son for not many years less than your career and I can assure you that not once have I been offered a sandwich, though I have been given the odd cup of tea, almost exclusively by night staff, and on multiple occasions there has not been anything bar dry toast, a plain baked potato or dry cereal that meets my son's dietary needs either. It's great that your Trust does better, but take it from those of us who have experienced it, this kind of thing occurs fairly frequently.

Is there not a sandwich trolly or anything going around? They usually have one you can purchase from. I was in a&e a few weeks ago with my son and it came round 3 times in the time we were there (about 9 hours). I couldn’t eat anything though as I have coeliac disease and hospitals apparently can’t cater for allergies/food intolerances but that’s a whole other story! Maybe ask - they probably haven’t clocked you have no food or no one coming!

How rude. Are you suggesting that the many people who have said that this was not their experience are lying?