Aren't hospital supposed to feed me??

[Elephantinthemoon]

Came to A&E this morning with my 1 year old, got here for 10am. He's very poorly and we were quickly told we'd be in overnight. I expected this so I'd brought an overnight bag but only a few snacks for baby, and his water bottle nothing for myself and no meals. I'm on my own so couldn't carry a lot and based on previous experience thought I'd be fed in the hospital because I'm breastfeeding?

I am on my own, and have no one who can bring me food or anything.

We spent 7 hrs in a&e waiting to be taken to the ward. Absolute nightmare and he got through his snacks very fast (crisps, cheese, Ella bar) but I was hopeful we'd be taken to the ward "soon".

At 4pm I finally got a bit fed up and asked the nurse if he could be given something to eat. Other than his snacks he'd not eaten anything since breakfast at 8am. He'd skipped lunch because we were stuck in a & e.

Tbh the nurse seemed really shocked I was asking like I'd not brought him anything? But thing is i just hadn't expected to.be waiting so long! I thought we'd be put on a ward and he'd be fed there. Anyway she did manage to "find" him a sandwich but I wasn't offered anything.

At 6pm we were finally transferred to a room on a ward but it didn't even have water in it. I have now asked for water.

I'm breastfeeding and when we were last in hospital overnight (at christmas) I'd been fed once on the ward because of this. So this was my expectation again. However no one has mentioned this this time (they have seen me breastfeeding him) and I've felt too awkward to ask because he's really unwell and I feel like either sounds selfish for me to just want to know if I can have food for myself!! Plus he's 20 months so not exactly a newborn so I'm not sure I still should be fed 🤔

So basically...I've not eaten since 9am this morning. I can't go to the cafe or shop in the hospital because I can't leave my 1 year old on his own. He's not in a fit state to come with me.

I'd of thought there'd atleast be a vending machine?! But I've checked and nothing.

How do single mums do this? Not everyone has relatives who are willing to bring food in!! And for the record I can't believe they don't feed ALL mums who have a poorly baby in hospital. Breastfeeding or not. It's honestly hard enough having a sick baby without also going without food until god knows when.

Thankfully my partner will be able to visit tomorrow but not until lunch time so I'm in for a very long time running on water only.

I agree, that is not acceptable.

Because by sheer luck there was a student nurse who took pity on her and went against hospital policy to find her said sandwich.

Completely agree. This is the same justification that is used for allowing partners to stay overnight on maternity wards. The subject comes up again and again on MN and despite many women disliking the policy, those who defend it inevitably refer to their own experience that they could not have coped without their partner there to provide basic care that should be provided by staff.

Your missing the point, this was not the case with the op, from her op she made her way to a&e knowing she was going there, in which case she KNEW she was going there. I don’t know anyone in this country who isn’t aware of A&E wait times.

Yes there are situations you don’t know it’s going to happen, like you DD2 was sent straight from what I thought was a “just in case” Drs visit, an ambulance was called. I hadn’t even locked my house because I thought I’d be back in half an hour, didn’t have the nappy bag with me either plus my phone was on low battery. I called my DH who left work, grabbed everything we needed, picked my other dd up from school and came straight to the hospital. Her first actual A&E trip was at 10 months old, Drs sent us straight from their surgery where she was put in isolation, luckily this was not in the uk and we didn’t need to worry about supplies and the hospital provided basics like toast and biscuits throughout the day for parents. I was even offered meals.

DD1 has had 6 A&E trips, 3 by ambulance once while in a public place, 2 from home, 3 A&E trips taken by us, 2 from home, 1 from a public place, I didn’t want to wait for an ambulance and was angry with the lack of a first aider in the supermarket where she had an accident. Last one was because Drs wouldn’t see her and told me to go to A&E. When going from home my first thought is to grab a carry bag and chuck loads of food and water in it. In the last case I signed her and DD2 out of school but not before stopping to fill up on supplies, I also had a toddler with me.

In one case I’d spent all morning at A&E with my TI DF only to get home to get a call saying my 6yo DD was being rushed to hospital in another city so I made my way straight there.

DD3 5 trips, one at 10 weeks old in the middle of the night, took from home and made sure I had plenty of formula and snacks, that turned into a 4 night stay. Second visit happened to be the day after I’d spent 8 hours in A&E with DD1 so I was fully prepared for another long stay and third trip again taken from home after a fall and nasty head/eye injury, I grabbed lots of food and drink. Other 2 trips were during lockdown and DH took her, both occasions the nappy bag was grabbed and filled with food.

2 of the A&E trips were done while DH was overseas so just me with 3 young children in A &E for a total of 16 hours over 2 days, no one to contact for help which is why I make sure I was fully prepared.

So don’t tell me I’m lacking in comprehension as I do know exactly what I’m talking about.

Erm that's not actually what the OP reported at 22.00 - you're confusing OP asking about something to eat last night with an ex-childrens oncology nurses story about how she was disciplined for giving food to parents

I can't work out how to link the OPs post to this but as I say it was at 22.00 so easy to find

To everyone saying that she isn't the patient so they don't need to feed her ... they aren't letting her leave

If a partner was behaving like this towards her it would be coercive control. Which is illegal. But the NHS gets a free pass??????!!!!!

Nobody is stopping her leaving. She can leave at any time she chooses. No parent stays next to their child every second they are in hospital.

You can get food delivered to the ward via just eat or Uber eats.

I was left on a hospital trolley for nine hours with no food or water. I was paralysed so unable to fetch anything. Sadly it is the state of the NHS at the moment. Once I was admitted I received food, drinks, medication very quickly. Sorry OP, but you need to bring supplies yourself. The health service is in crisis, they are short staffed enough catering to admitted patients. I always advise people to take chargers, food and water when going to hospital

@Dolphinnoises Totally agree with your post They cant have it both ways.

No, I've understood just fine - I have just re-read the post (I assume you meant the 22.20 as there isn't a 22.00) to check. She was told she couldn't leave the child as there was no-one to supervise him; the nurse was clueless about any policy for feeding breastfeeding mothers; a sympathetic student nurse offered to try and find a sandwich and managed to get one. That this went against policy is my inference but one I'm quite happy with, ta.

I find this strange when ever I was in hospital with my son even on adult wards I always stayed with him (he was deafblind and had cerebral palsy) I was fed and watered!

I think they might if the child was having regular, unpredictable epileptic seizures and hospital staff had explicitly told them that they would not and could not supervise the child if they briefly stepped away.

Yeah going ''against policy'' is the creative writing bit

I don't think you know what an inference is.

I'm well aware what inference is thank you and when made should be indicated as such rather than stated as a fact

Oh this is awful. When I had my son he was in hospital numerous times as a newborn and we always got fed. A few months later he was in again and they saw me feeding him from a bottle and told me I wouldn't get fed cause I don't breastfeed. It was madness. My husband wasn't even allowed in as it was the start of covid. I was so upset about it all.

Sorry your going through similar OP

Let's address this the mendacious way, by appealing to their pockets.

LISTEN UP, HOSPITAL SHOPS!

There are parents and visitors IN YOUR HOSPITAL who aren't being fed. May I suggest a money-making scheme? Get a MOS or even a volunteer to take a trolley round - maybe just round the children's wards - with food and drink to sell to parents who have been stuck in the hospital. Do other wards as well, if possible, but if not possible, make sure other nearby wards know that food will be in the children's ward area (or just outside) at specified hours. And then be punctual. And watch the money roll in. [An advanced strategy for any shopkeepers with a heart, out there - keep an eye open for any non-inpatients eyeing up the trolley who look as if the cost is beyond them, and slip them a sandwich which will go out of date that night.]

(weirdoboelady sighs and resigns herself to the fact that money is the only language some people speak)

It also hasnt passed me by that they expect people (including their own staff) to live on snack foods and takeaways while also moaning about obesity

Hope you have lots of snacks now OP and hospital stay isn't too long.

In your situation I can't see a problem with a sandwich and tea, they didn't want you to leave your child and some sandwiches end up as food waste anyway.

It's been interesting reading about how hospitals vary, I thought the one near me was massive but it doesn't have a shop, it has a boots normal opening hours, coffee shops, and an excellent canteen which I sometimes go into on the way home for a lovely meal. It's honestly very good and better than going to a café. Hot puddings with custard as well 😋

Some hospitals do have a trolley come around the wards with news papers, magazines, crisps and chocolate, maybe something more substantial would be good for children’s wards where there are parents going hungry? Or a vending machine on each floor? I understand the NHS can’t afford to give free food to family members but they don’t have too. They could provide a toaster and a loaf of bread and ask for donations? A loaf of bread and some butter doesn’t cost a fortune.

Is the child being breast fed or on solids? Seems confused to me.

Totally not acceptable for the patient to be fed.

Totally not acceptable for the parent to expect to be fed.

Many hospitals have volunteers, maybe a nurse could ask a volunteer to assist and go to the shop/vending machine for you.

Nor me. There was a machine that made instant tea on the ward for patients, staff using it were told they would be sacked.

Jeez! Lack of empathy is astounding!
i was recently an out patient for four hours for some allergy tests.
Part of that time was spent sitting in a side ward waiting to see whether I would show any adverse reaction to an antibiotic.
I took a book and some water and biscuits. While I waited three members of staff saw me and came in at different times to ask if I needed anything. One offered drinks and brought me a hot chocolate and a choice of sandwiches and biscuits. It can be done. None of the three was in any way involved in my treatment, one was a registrar, others nurses. Just kind, empathetic people.
Well done, City Hospital Birmingham.