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Original poster

Aren't hospital supposed to feed me??

675 replies

Elephantinthemoon · 27/03/2023 21:10

Came to A&E this morning with my 1 year old, got here for 10am. He's very poorly and we were quickly told we'd be in overnight. I expected this so I'd brought an overnight bag but only a few snacks for baby, and his water bottle nothing for myself and no meals. I'm on my own so couldn't carry a lot and based on previous experience thought I'd be fed in the hospital because I'm breastfeeding?

I am on my own, and have no one who can bring me food or anything.

We spent 7 hrs in a&e waiting to be taken to the ward. Absolute nightmare and he got through his snacks very fast (crisps, cheese, Ella bar) but I was hopeful we'd be taken to the ward "soon".

At 4pm I finally got a bit fed up and asked the nurse if he could be given something to eat. Other than his snacks he'd not eaten anything since breakfast at 8am. He'd skipped lunch because we were stuck in a & e.

Tbh the nurse seemed really shocked I was asking like I'd not brought him anything? But thing is i just hadn't expected to.be waiting so long! I thought we'd be put on a ward and he'd be fed there. Anyway she did manage to "find" him a sandwich but I wasn't offered anything.

At 6pm we were finally transferred to a room on a ward but it didn't even have water in it. I have now asked for water.

I'm breastfeeding and when we were last in hospital overnight (at christmas) I'd been fed once on the ward because of this. So this was my expectation again. However no one has mentioned this this time (they have seen me breastfeeding him) and I've felt too awkward to ask because he's really unwell and I feel like either sounds selfish for me to just want to know if I can have food for myself!! Plus he's 20 months so not exactly a newborn so I'm not sure I still should be fed 🤔

So basically...I've not eaten since 9am this morning. I can't go to the cafe or shop in the hospital because I can't leave my 1 year old on his own. He's not in a fit state to come with me.

I'd of thought there'd atleast be a vending machine?! But I've checked and nothing.

How do single mums do this? Not everyone has relatives who are willing to bring food in!! And for the record I can't believe they don't feed ALL mums who have a poorly baby in hospital. Breastfeeding or not. It's honestly hard enough having a sick baby without also going without food until god knows when.

Thankfully my partner will be able to visit tomorrow but not until lunch time so I'm in for a very long time running on water only.

OP posts:
NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 28/03/2023 23:58

Ktime · 28/03/2023 23:55

@NeverApologiseNeverExplain and do you understand that the people fasting won’t be able to drink a drop of water or a bite of food from sunrise until sunset, so around 16 hours?

Yet you begrudge them some food that the chaplain got?

Yea and yes. It’s their choice.

percypal · 29/03/2023 00:01

I was in Wednesday to Sunday with my child and had three square meals a day Grin

I think they should be feeding you OP!

Ktime · 29/03/2023 00:08

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 28/03/2023 23:58

Yea and yes. It’s their choice.

Show quote history

Non-Muslims can go the cafe in the morning and get some breakfast. Or get tea in the kitchen. Muslims don’t have that option, there was a limited window of an hour to eat something. I can’t understand how you can begrudge them that.

And to say they must have been eating all night is such a horrible thing to say.

onirgellep · 29/03/2023 00:09

Ktime · 28/03/2023 23:55

@NeverApologiseNeverExplain and do you understand that the people fasting won’t be able to drink a drop of water or a bite of food from sunrise until sunset, so around 16 hours?

Yet you begrudge them some food that the chaplain got?

Minor point but sunrise to sunset is 12 hours atm not 16 hours

we've just passed the equinox - equal night and day

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 29/03/2023 00:18

Ktime · 29/03/2023 00:08

Non-Muslims can go the cafe in the morning and get some breakfast. Or get tea in the kitchen. Muslims don’t have that option, there was a limited window of an hour to eat something. I can’t understand how you can begrudge them that.

And to say they must have been eating all night is such a horrible thing to say.

Show quote history

Nobody can go to the blooming cafe that is what this thread is all about!

Ktime · 29/03/2023 00:18

@onirgellep the point is if they arrived at 3am and didn’t eat it until sunset at 7.30, it would be 16+ hours.

Ktime · 29/03/2023 00:19

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 29/03/2023 00:18

Nobody can go to the blooming cafe that is what this thread is all about!

Show quote history

Why couldn’t the people you’re talking about go to the cafe in the morning?

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 29/03/2023 00:22

Ktime · 29/03/2023 00:19

Why couldn’t the people you’re talking about go to the cafe in the morning?

Show quote history

Because the nurses will not let them leave their children. Did you actually read the thread or have you just wandered in to get all offended for no reason?

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 29/03/2023 00:23

And they probably didn’t fancy stopping for a fry up when rushing an ill child to A&E.

hungryhipo · 29/03/2023 00:25

I was in hospital recently with my baby (11 months). We were in because she's barely gaining weight. I was grilled over what she eats at home and then ironically she wasn't offered anything at tea time. It was a really unexpected trip so I didn't even have any snacks. Also breastfeeding and wasn't offered any water.

Quite disappointing actually as I've been on a few different wards where the nurses have always been really good at offering drinks and a sandwich if you've missed meal time.

Ktime · 29/03/2023 00:29

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 29/03/2023 00:22

Because the nurses will not let them leave their children. Did you actually read the thread or have you just wandered in to get all offended for no reason?

Show quote history

You’re conflating OP’s situation with the situation below posted by @Toddlerteaplease . They are two different hospitals. Why are you assuming the situations are exactly the same?

I always offer to make parents a drink if they've been admitted in the middle of the night. And will find some biscuits if we have any.
We had some lovely people from the chaplaincy round earlier with bags of food for parents who had been fasting for Ramadan. It's a really nice idea, but not fair on the rest of the parents who aren't fasting.

Ktime · 29/03/2023 00:31

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 29/03/2023 00:23

And they probably didn’t fancy stopping for a fry up when rushing an ill child to A&E.

And yet you confidently asserted the Muslims would have been ‘eating all night’.

Truly disgusting attitude.

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 29/03/2023 00:36

Ktime · 29/03/2023 00:31

And yet you confidently asserted the Muslims would have been ‘eating all night’.

Truly disgusting attitude.

Show quote history

You were the one who said they were eating at 3am! What’s disgusting about eating during the night anyway?

Ktime · 29/03/2023 00:40

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 29/03/2023 00:36

You were the one who said they were eating at 3am! What’s disgusting about eating during the night anyway?

Show quote history

😂

Think yo need to get to bed, you are the one who said ‘they were eating all night up to 4 am they’d eaten more recently than someone who slept all night and came to hospital before breakfast!’

You implied they were eating all night rather than sleeping.

And then you go on to say non-Muslims wouldn’t want to eat at that time.

You’re tying yourself up in knots.

Changingmynameyetagain · 29/03/2023 00:49

DD was in hospital in 2021 for 5 days.
She was having planned surgery and I was told before that I would be fed because she was going to be on the HDU and there was also a parent kitchen for tea/coffee.
I was only given 2 meals the whole stay because they kept forgetting about me and the kitchen was locked because of covid.
Luckily there was a costa and subway in the hospital and I managed to get something to eat but it was farcical.
DH was also not allowed to visit because of covid and they only allowed one parent to be on the ward, we live over an hour away so he couldn’t even bring me food from home.

Rebel2 · 29/03/2023 01:02

It seems really variable
I was in hospital 33 years ago and remember them bringing me breakfast (I was on the children's ward)
A cup of milk and a weetabix. You could drink the milk and have the weetabix dry or use it on the cereal but not have a drink. My dad was Confused and went home and brought food in daily for the rest of my stay as I was in there for 6 weeks and the food was both vile and tiny portions

More recently I've had
Toast and tea because I happened to be having an infusion early morning and they offered
Local hospital seemed amazed I liked the food and I thought I would roll out of there

A nurse that I won't ever forget. Came from a night shift to sit with my Nan who was dying (I was exhausted and upset) and she quietly came in and put a mug of tea and toast by me, put her hand on my shoulder and vanished again

Autienotnautie · 29/03/2023 02:10

Op it's really poor. I would say either they take responsibility for your child while you get food or they feed you. Hopefully your dh brought plenty to substain you.

Quas · 29/03/2023 05:07

Toddlerteaplease · 28/03/2023 23:16

@Quas, my point is that it's unfair to give food to one group of people and not others. Nothing to do with fasting or not. Either we provide for all parents or for none.

@Toddlerteaplease How is it unfair to give people food and water who have not eaten or even drank anything for an extended period over time? Because the people who can eat and drink freely might get upset?

Quas · 29/03/2023 05:08

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 28/03/2023 23:58

Yea and yes. It’s their choice.

Show quote history

@NeverApologiseNeverExplain Yes it is their choice to fast and it is the choice of the chaplaincy/charities to go and feed the people who are fasting in hospitals and make them a priority

Toddlerteaplease · 29/03/2023 05:09

Oh for goodness sake. We either feed everyone or no one!

TodayShow · 29/03/2023 06:08

Rebel2 · 29/03/2023 01:02

It seems really variable
I was in hospital 33 years ago and remember them bringing me breakfast (I was on the children's ward)
A cup of milk and a weetabix. You could drink the milk and have the weetabix dry or use it on the cereal but not have a drink. My dad was Confused and went home and brought food in daily for the rest of my stay as I was in there for 6 weeks and the food was both vile and tiny portions

More recently I've had
Toast and tea because I happened to be having an infusion early morning and they offered
Local hospital seemed amazed I liked the food and I thought I would roll out of there

A nurse that I won't ever forget. Came from a night shift to sit with my Nan who was dying (I was exhausted and upset) and she quietly came in and put a mug of tea and toast by me, put her hand on my shoulder and vanished again

A nurse that I won't ever forget. Came from a night shift to sit with my Nan who was dying (I was exhausted and upset) and she quietly came in and put a mug of tea and toast by me, put her hand on my shoulder and vanished again

This makes me want to cry. I have a similar memory and it’s the kindness of the nurse I remember of all of them, far more than the ones that ripped skin off by pulling a dressing off roughly or shouted at me for asking for a breast pump. You remember those small kindnesses forever. It’s so sad when you look at the bickering on this post. I really don’t give a shit if the NHS ‘is on its knees’, there’s really no excuse for lack of common decency. Water and food are the basics of health.

Ktime · 29/03/2023 09:04

Toddlerteaplease · 29/03/2023 05:09

Oh for goodness sake. We either feed everyone or no one!

What part of Muslim people fasting having a limited window to eat do you not understand? They won’t be able to go to the cafe when it opens at 7am or whatever, whereas all the non-fasters can.

Misspiper89 · 29/03/2023 09:51

I work on a children’s ward and we have always had a toaster and are always making toast for patients and their families, there’s also sandwiches always available, not always a huge variety. As well as crisps, biscuits etc

elliejjtiny · 29/03/2023 10:19

@Rebel2 it's the little things that really make a difference doesn't it? It's been years but I will always remember the consultant who hugged me when I was crying because I was missing my 2 year old who I'd had to leave with grandparents for only the second time in his life. Or the same consultant who came and sat by my bed when I had sepsis and explained how ds (who also had sepsis) was getting on and stayed there until I definitely understood (I was hallucinating and struggling to understand anything anyone said to me). She wasn't even meant to be there that day, she just happened to see dh in the corridor and he told her where I was so she came to see me on her break. Caused a bit of a stir in HDU!

Rebel2 · 29/03/2023 10:47

elliejjtiny · 29/03/2023 10:19

@Rebel2 it's the little things that really make a difference doesn't it? It's been years but I will always remember the consultant who hugged me when I was crying because I was missing my 2 year old who I'd had to leave with grandparents for only the second time in his life. Or the same consultant who came and sat by my bed when I had sepsis and explained how ds (who also had sepsis) was getting on and stayed there until I definitely understood (I was hallucinating and struggling to understand anything anyone said to me). She wasn't even meant to be there that day, she just happened to see dh in the corridor and he told her where I was so she came to see me on her break. Caused a bit of a stir in HDU!

Definitely
Also the nurse who made me a hot chocolate at 3am after spinal operation when I couldn't sleep. And showed me a shortcut to outside so I could vape BlushGrin