Aren't hospital supposed to feed me??

[Elephantinthemoon]

Came to A&E this morning with my 1 year old, got here for 10am. He's very poorly and we were quickly told we'd be in overnight. I expected this so I'd brought an overnight bag but only a few snacks for baby, and his water bottle nothing for myself and no meals. I'm on my own so couldn't carry a lot and based on previous experience thought I'd be fed in the hospital because I'm breastfeeding?

I am on my own, and have no one who can bring me food or anything.

We spent 7 hrs in a&e waiting to be taken to the ward. Absolute nightmare and he got through his snacks very fast (crisps, cheese, Ella bar) but I was hopeful we'd be taken to the ward "soon".

At 4pm I finally got a bit fed up and asked the nurse if he could be given something to eat. Other than his snacks he'd not eaten anything since breakfast at 8am. He'd skipped lunch because we were stuck in a & e.

Tbh the nurse seemed really shocked I was asking like I'd not brought him anything? But thing is i just hadn't expected to.be waiting so long! I thought we'd be put on a ward and he'd be fed there. Anyway she did manage to "find" him a sandwich but I wasn't offered anything.

At 6pm we were finally transferred to a room on a ward but it didn't even have water in it. I have now asked for water.

I'm breastfeeding and when we were last in hospital overnight (at christmas) I'd been fed once on the ward because of this. So this was my expectation again. However no one has mentioned this this time (they have seen me breastfeeding him) and I've felt too awkward to ask because he's really unwell and I feel like either sounds selfish for me to just want to know if I can have food for myself!! Plus he's 20 months so not exactly a newborn so I'm not sure I still should be fed 🤔

So basically...I've not eaten since 9am this morning. I can't go to the cafe or shop in the hospital because I can't leave my 1 year old on his own. He's not in a fit state to come with me.

I'd of thought there'd atleast be a vending machine?! But I've checked and nothing.

How do single mums do this? Not everyone has relatives who are willing to bring food in!! And for the record I can't believe they don't feed ALL mums who have a poorly baby in hospital. Breastfeeding or not. It's honestly hard enough having a sick baby without also going without food until god knows when.

Thankfully my partner will be able to visit tomorrow but not until lunch time so I'm in for a very long time running on water only.

Well that's great for you, not great for parents who can't get away from the ward.

Friend took her husband in suspected stroke they spent 36 hours in emergency department. After 30 hours they were moved to another waiting room and offered tea and toast.

I remember when my teenager was admitted to hospital and (not ideal) was a day on a ward or bay for younger children and essentially sleeping off the affects of meds. I went to the food shop and asked other parents of the children around her (awake, needing attention) the question about food and I was treated as a visiting Saint. There's definitely a market in the larger hospitals but then I guess access to children's wards is heavily restricted and for good reason.

You need to keep your strength up op. I hope your child is doing better

I can't believe some of the responses on here, have people got no compassion? Of course people needing to take their child to A+E haven't got time to even think about packing food to eat whilst they are there. In the hospital I work in, they do feed parents that are unable to leave their child alone, as staffing levels don't always allow constant surveillance of children. I agree that the NHS should only fund patient meals, but it is not the parent's fault that they haven't brought food in when they have rushed in with a child having seizures. There should be a way parents can order and pay for food, as they need to be able to look after their child.
I am lucky that when my 2 year old DD was rushed in with breathing difficulties, the nurses were kind and asked if I'd eaten and provided me with sandwiches and biscuits when I said I hadn't.
Hope your little one is doing ok OP. Xx

There are some horrible replies on here!

Just to spell it out for those who still don't get it.

even if you have a dh, they may not be able to visit. My dh was home with 2 small children. We only had one car. I had the car at the hospital. He couldn't have got to me.
We were in 2 hospitals, one was 50 minutes drive, one was 1.5 hours. He couldn't 'pop by' with some food.

While of course you can walk off the ward to get food, unless your child is being watched, they may not be safe. My dd at 18 months could climb out of the hospital cot. She would then run round the ward. She needed constant supervision. And they are hospital wards, so trolleys with syringes etc on them. I would not have left her unattended. I was fortunate in that the nurses did watch her properly when I went ot find food.

In both hospitals there was a LOONG way between the ward and the shop/cafe. It really is not possible to 'nip down' to the shop.
(and in the shop/costa at our local hospital the queue is always miles long.)

If it is a 20 minute walk to the front door, good luck trying to order dominos etc. They usually don't deliver to the ward.

The OP and most of the posters complaining are not actually asking for free food. They are asking for ACCESS to food. And in th eOPs case it isn't only for her but FOR THE PATIENT!

As PP said - you can't have it both ways, either the nhs needs to properly supervise these kids, and in OPs case that means someone sitting in the room with him. Or they need to recognise that they are needed there and provide food (and agina, that doesn't mean the food is free, just availble)

Likewise can’t believe the responses sneering at the OP for not having predicted when rushing to hospital with a sick baby that she’d be told she couldn’t leave her baby to get food (which would take at least half an hour to get to the shop and no vending machine).
”it’s a hospital, not a restaurant”
”people can go a day or two without food”
”don’t you know the state of the NHS?”
Yes, obviously the NHS is on its knees. That doesn’t mean that the OP is being precious to want to eat. If they won’t let parents leave children’s rooms they should have a vending machine on the ward.

She literally did?

When you’ve said something stupid and mean the first time, it’s best not to double down. What would have been better is ‘sorry to hear that, OP.’

This. I don’t know if people are thick or mean. I suspect both.

I’m sure your intentions are good but you’ve just been describing lovely food to a hungry person?

Both my son and daughter have SEIZURES. Only my daughter has been hospitalised multiple times fighting for her life. It's not something I would like about love. It's a stressful time. My daughter has lost speach, life skills each time her siezures have been uncontrolled. She has had multiple injuries because of her epilepsy. There's some days I can't leave the house with her because of multiple atonic drops and grand mal siezures she's having. But some nobody pull's me up on Mumsnet because I misspell seizure because I wrote it when I've hardly had any sleep because I've been listening out in case she has a nocturnal seizure. Always one pafetic childish spelling police. Grow the fuck up.

It's not stupid and mean- but it's basically asked for food and got some, so why not do it sooner? Cripes. Also worth asking about meal times especially if had issues at dinner.

Yes exactly there is a vending machine in our local hospital. But we have to leave the ward for that. Now my daughter is on an adult ward and can't be left. They do offer me meals. She is also put on a mixed ward. So as she's so vulnerable she can't be left unsupervised at all. Even if I go to the toilet she comes with me if she's awake.

Our hospital does have a trolley coming around. But it's just paper's, crisps, chocolate, sweets and cans of pop. There's nothing substantial like a sandwich to buy. You also need cash to buy anything. There's no card payment option.

She did actually say there was doctors in and out treating her child. They probably thought he was too out of it to have anything to eat. Have you any idea how exhausting it is having a siezure. A paramedic told me it's equivalent to having run a marathon. If they are too sleepy to eat and drink food and fluids can get into they're lungs which causes pneumonia.

Have they been around to ask what meals you want for him? They usually come around and ask.

Hope your baby is better soon OP. Any time my child has been in hospital the lovely nurses have either brought me toast without me asking, or made about 4 rounds of toast for the kids breakfast knowing I'd be hungry too. And the staff bringing the food round always try to bring something extra to help if they think it's needed too.

Feeding patients is part of looking after them. One of their basic needs, obviously.

I just can't believe that it was 11am and her husband never turned up with anything for her or her son - given they were both starving. Either with the other child or after they had been dropped at school/nursery. Even just dropping a bag of provisions at reception if they had to get to work.

@TodayShow
"Feeding patients is part of looking after them. One of their basic needs, obviously."

Yes, well, 'obviously'......
When did I say that it wasn't? Of course they feed patients! But, poorly children sitting in A&E for hours don't get fed (unless vey lucky) and accompanying parents in A&E or on the wards don't get fed - hence why I take food that I know we can share.

Thing is, this mum knew that breakfast was usually at 8am, knew she had a hungry child who had missed dinner and still waited until 930am to enquire. Hence, need for advocacy!

That is awful. What are women who can't afford to buy stuff supposed to do?

And men……

i th8in ita terrible they said well you cant leave him what if there was noone to stay with him its their job not yours

Exactly most of the times my daughter has been admitted it's been an emergency when we were out. There's no time to pop home and get a few things. The last time she was taken by ambulance I was lucky enough to get a family member to come to the hospital so I could nip home in a taxi and get her Meds and a few essentials. So she wasn't missing them and her condition deteriorate. We managed to avoid a hospital admission that time. But we were still there until the early hours of the morning. From being taken up at 7pm.

Not when the child needs someone with them constantly. They don't have the staff to properly supervise them safely.