To think I will be judged on holiday and plane about my size?

[Ykn]

40 something, 5.8 tall, size 20-22, hoping to feel confident enough to wear a bikini or tankini around the pool on my coming holiday.

Would you be judging me on how I look? Thinking "I'm glad I don't look like her" and/or "what on earth does she think she looks like?"

Would you be looking over at me on the plane to see if I can fasten my seat belt? To see if I have to ask for an extender? To see me become flustered if I can't fasten my seat belt and have to ask for an extender?

Interested to hear your honest thoughts.

I have flown many many times. I don't think I've ever been on a plane, ever, when there wasn't at least one person who wasn't tall, enormous, or tall and also enormous. No one even cares.

People will always judge. If you play it off confidently I wouldn’t notice. If you’re flustered and stressed, it will draw attention and i would pity you you if you seemed uncomfortable. In terms of swimwear etc I wouldn’t care other than knowing i would feel self conscious so I would think that’s good for you, again play it off confident. That’s my honest opinion. Play it off and people won’t notice if you’re feeling insecure. Easier said than done, I am overweight too. But most of all who gives AF what other people think. Even if people judge, it is a fleeting thought. 99.999999% people are not thinking about you and are far more bothered about their own hang ups than yours

I’d be jealous that you had the confidence to wear a bikini!!! I haven’t worn one since I was about 18, it’s not my size that stops me it’s my general paper bag crumpled stomach after having 3 babies, one exceptionally large 😂
I hate seeing it now and cover it up in a tankini.
As others said, encroaching on seat space is unpleasant and it will happen unless lucky enough to be able to fly first class everywhere (I am not!) but I’d not be judging you in a bikini other than positively. It’s brilliant seeing all different shapes and sizes at the beach or around the pool on holiday, very encouraging.

I would not be judging you one but op. If you were on holiday at the same time as me I'd be happy for you. You enjoy your holiday!

I’m the same height and clothes size as you, OP. In all my recent flights I’ve not been close to needing an extender nor have I encroached on anyone else’s seat. You will be fine.

Enjoy your holiday, wear what you want. Who genuinely gives a flying fuck what anyone else thinks? Only a complete arsehole would say anything negative or gross to you. Their thoughts are none of your business anyway.

Apart from the person sat next to them

I wouldn’t stare or pass any judgement. None of my business or anyone else’s! Wear your bikini, sunbathe, go in the pool and enjoy your holiday!!! If people make comments or stare, that’s a reflection on them, not you.

I’m always far too scared on a plane to judge anyone.
I’d probably be jealous of you being able to be in the sun in a bikini. Being a ginger I burn in the sun, so I’m always covered up, in the shade, plus smothered in factor 50.

Avoid the extender stress by buying one online and if it turns out you need one (unlikely I'd say) you can just slip it out of your bag and tend to it yourself, without having to involve airline staff.

Have a great time.

I’m a 14/16, my body isn’t as toned as it once was, I wore a bikini up until last year, now I’m not so comfortable with my body as it once was (I’m mid 60’s now) so have resorted to a once piece from NEXT in 3 various colours. I’m only covering up a mid piece of body opposed to a two piece & feeling a little better about the shape without worrying what others may perceive! Less sun lotion too 😉😉😉

Size 20/22 is not excessively fat. Not the sort of exceptionally different that's worthy of stares or comment. No one will be staring at you. I know this because I'm that size and literally every time I ever catch any woman looking at me, it's because they are about to compliment me on my clothes. (I do dress very well, every day. I get stopped and complimented at least once a week).

Newsflash. Fat people are fine. We can do everything thin people can, and can be beautiful, charismatic, have successful careers, talent, love stories etc

For the love of god can we please get away from this ludicrous 1980s narrative that big is bad and small is good. People are just people.

And OP start being your own champion and live your best life in the body you're in. I recommend you listen to Go Love Yourself podcast and follow Alex Light and Megan Crabbe on insta for starters.

I'd be too nervous the plane was going to crash I don't notice anyone else on planes just trying not to panic and hyperventilate

I wouldn’t judge u, I wish u well. However I think swimsuits are more flattering on the majority of women and if you feel self conscious just wear a pool shirt-I got one on Amazon and I felt more confident walking around in it.

I wouldn’t notice you on plane OP… a size 20 is not as big as it once was, if you know what I mean. :) I think the majority of people are too preoccupied with their own lives to worry about other people.I also think most people have struggled with their weight from time to time, so if they did judge you I’m sure they’d also be quick to think “who the hell do I think I am”. But if I’m completely honest I do always notice women wearing bikinis - regardless of their size. Part of me is envious they can pull it off when I absolutely can’t so it does make me look twice, but I also don’t really like bikinis so there’s a tiny tiny part of me that thinks “Hmm, why do people in general wear bikinis, is she up herself?” It’s really stupid but it has very little to do with the size of the person- I am just not a bikini person. If you feel self conscious it’s not an attire I would choose, basically. Yes I’d do a double glance unless the pool site was crowded with others also wearing bikinis.

Have a fantastic time whatever you decide to wear!

If people do judge other people on their dress size, then they are ignorant, self limiting, arseholes who don't deserve your consideration op!

Have a lovely holiday! 🏝️✈️

💛💛💛

I wouldn't think anything. When I've been on holiday I've seen women a lot bigger than a size 20, so I wouldn't pay any attention.

I would be focused on my son and all the people starring at him because he is 4 and has a dummy, headphones, stims etc. If you smiled at me when I sat down and said hello i would be relieved not to be next to a nasty person, wouldn't care what size you are.

On holiday I would be trying to relax and only notice your bikini if I really like it or you looked happy, then I'd think that's nice, she's having a lovely holiday.

Yes I would notice - I wouldn’t care what someone wore but for someone to say you wouldn’t even notice and that size 20 “isn’t that big” is simply laughable, as well as pretty deluded and disingenuous.
And to be squashed in the aeroplane seat is unfair on the other person - it’s happened to me before.
You asked for people’s opinions and they could at least be honest!
Apparently people on MN don’t notice anything around them.

I've always been slim, but over the last 7 years I'm now in the obese category, what I've found is people take less notice, and look at you less, to the extent I think you almost become invisible the more weight you carry. So I wouldn't worry about it op, people won't be looking or judging, they will be concentrating on their own holiday and not looking at all.

Where are you going?

Most people don't judge others because they know they, themselves, are not perfect and they know that their own circumstances can change in a split second.
Also they are involved in their own thoughts, lives, relationships, business etc.
If ever someone looks at you it is more likely that they are admiring you, are being friendly, are wanting to have a conversation or are just day dreaming.

I remember a few years ago when I was thinner than I am now, I didn't wear a bikini because I felt self conscious, but looked around the beach and it was really only the much older ladies that were wearing one pieces and everyone else was just doing their thing and letting it all hang out.

Honestly wear what you want, it's on other people if they judge you for it. I do a bit of people watching on holiday, but it's more to get good ideas about what clothing looks good and guess where they've got it from.

On the plane, I'd only judge if you were sat beside me and encroaching on my space. I'd pay so you don't get a middle seat, and ideally if you're able to upgrade to a larger seat then I'd do that. But asking for a belt extension- nah none of my business, I'm more interested in triple checking I've still got the passports and perusing the duty free magazine for unlikely bargains.

If I noticed you (not sure I would as probably everyone would be different shapes and sizes) I would probably just feel inspired to wear a bikini myself next time.

It's a peculiarly British thing I think to feel so body conscious. I live in Spain and yesterday spent most of the day on the beach.

No-one looks at anyone else. I was with a friend who's really very large and it was wonderful to see her running along the beach with her dog in a bikini and genuinely people only noticed her laughing , nothing to do with her Size all shapes and sizes were out having fun

Have a lovely holiday