To think I will be judged on holiday and plane about my size?

[Ykn]

40 something, 5.8 tall, size 20-22, hoping to feel confident enough to wear a bikini or tankini around the pool on my coming holiday.

Would you be judging me on how I look? Thinking "I'm glad I don't look like her" and/or "what on earth does she think she looks like?"

Would you be looking over at me on the plane to see if I can fasten my seat belt? To see if I have to ask for an extender? To see me become flustered if I can't fasten my seat belt and have to ask for an extender?

Interested to hear your honest thoughts.

I'm a size 10 and feel self conscious in a bikini. I might not be fat but my stomach is a wrinkly mess after 2 kids! Don't worry about it OP, not many women look like Victoria secret models by the pool.

I’m the same size and never give it a second thought , I’ve even worn a tankini with my stoma bag on display and yes I did catch a couple of people looking mainly kids but for me it is a good thing to explain to kids about.

Enjoy yourself and even on a flight that size isn’t huge and won’t impact on people sitting next to you so crack on

I looked at a large woman on the beach a few years ago. I looked in total admiration because she had tiny thong bikini bottoms on and didn’t give a do dah. She looked great too. Beautiful tan, glorious buttocks and attitude a plenty.
I would have loved some of her confidence.

My theory by the pool or at the beach is that there will always be someone that looks better than me and there’s always someone who looks worse so I wouldn’t give it a second thought.

Great advice.

I'm an 18 and easily fit in plane seat. Love those high waisted bikini bottoms

The best thing about sunshine holidays is the fact that there are people of all shapes and sizes, wearing whatever they want, and having a ball. IMO It’s the absolute last place you would get judged.

@AmandaHoldensLips wins the thread. Actually LOL’d.

In these situations " it's none at of your business what other people think about you" springs to mind. I'm overweight and would never in a million years wear a bikini as I'm too self conscious & have horrific stretch marks from pregnancy, so if I saw you I'd be in awe. Honestly. Go for it! I'd be silently cheering you on from the side lines & wishing I didn't have so many stupid and pointless hang ups myself! Also, I'd rather be a bit overweight than a judgmental old boiler so, you know, if you are comfortable, who cares what someone like that thinks anyway? Have a great holiday!

I don't think it's how you look, l think it's to do with how comfortable you feel. Many of the women with so called perfect looks, if there is such a thing are not particularly confident.
I am of the opinion you should love your body no matter what, it works really hard to keep you alive, the least you can do is admire it back. l am far from perfect, but perfectly imperfect. This is my body and l wear what l feel comfortable in, l dress for myself, not the approval of others, that's the attitude to have.

I am desperately trying to lose weight. Thanks for suggesting that I'm not.

Don't worry about it OP is my advice. Who cares what other people think? If they're actively being rude to you then call them out, otherwise ignore them. The only people that judge and care what other people look like are either vain or bullies who gain confidence by belittling others. Neither type of person is worth your time.

Ask for an extender.

No one will be listening, no one will be looking at you and no one cares what you look like.
They really don't.
They will all be far to busy enjoying their holiday. And you should do the same.

I honestly can't remember who I set next to on my last flight. I never pay attention. They will come around and discreetly give you one as well as them belts for people with a baby on their lap.
I travelled the world and spent months trying to cover myself up and I missed out on loads being self-conscious, then one day I thought f**k it and put on a bikini and I can honestly say I didn't notice anyone staring.
You'll only regret the things you don't do, not the things you do. Xxx
Also you'll never see these people again so don't let them spoil your fun.

I wear a factor 50 long sleeved swim top and shorts and a friend of a friend at a villa last summer took me aside to tell me to be more confident. I told her pretty directly that since I burn in 16 degrees in the north of England that I don’t risk ruining a family holiday with sunburn/ sunstroke and it had nothing to do with not wanting to wear a swimsuit.

wear what you want- you can’t control any else’s thoughts about it but I don’t think strangers will give any brain space to it. DH and I both love people watching and clothes watching around the pool. Best place for enviable outfits was the Atlantis water park in Dubai: can’t remember a thing about any of the people wearing them though.

I would envy your confidence to be honest. I've not worn a bikini for twenty odd years and was thinking about buying one.

The people who stand out to me at a pool are the loud, selfish, drunk, music on phones, dive bombing types. The people who move twelve chairs together at 7am and place them in a line and then take over. I don't tend to notice other people in a negative way.

I've not judged people by their size since the time a very large man sat next to me on the plane and had to force his bum down between the arms into the seat. My heart sank thinking I'd be squashed. It turned out he was one of the most interesting people I'd ever met, a VIP in his country (West Indies) had come to England to study at Oxford in the early 1960's which must have been challenging for him. Sitting with him worked in my favour as the crew were fawning over him offering drinks and he asked me if I'd like to join him in a G&T, none of the rest of the plane were being served. It was one of the nicest flights I've ever had. So I don't 'judge books by their cover' any more because of people like him.

I'll keep a watchful eye out for other peoples reactions though, I'm off on holiday tomorrow with my adult daughters both of whom are on the larger side. I don't think you have anything to worry about TBH.

I’m a size 20, edging out to 22 across the backside area and don’t have an issue with seatbelts on planes. I always have to adjust them though as the last person sitting in the seat obviously wasn’t such a fatty. Never needed an extender.

I wouldn’t care and in the kindest way probably wouldn’t even notice you as I’d be too busy enjoying my own holiday.

Quietly ask for a seat belt extender as you’re boarding (ie as soon as you walk on to the plane).

Some people will judge, some will not.

To be honest, you see all sorts of shapes and sizes on the beach on holiday. Seeing a larger lady isn't really that remarkable. I'd judge you if you were wearing the bikini down the supermarket, but at the pool or beach you would be appropriately dressed.

So long as you seem comfortable I wouldn't notice. If your bikini didn't fit and you looked uncomfortable I might notice. But that would be the same for anyone of any size.

I wouldn't give a damb what you wore. You're pretty tall so will probably carry your weight pretty well (though I'm sure you look a little plump). I think I'd notice you more if you were covered up tbh
My only concern would be on the plane if you were encroaching into my space. That would apply to a large (not fat) person too. I'm presuming you're travelling with someone else so I'd suggest you ensure the seating is planned so this doesn't happen.

A damb?