To not breastfeed the third child?

[cityle]

So I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old.
I breastfeed my 5 year old till 2 (actually when I got pregnant with the second then my milk diminished)

And now I'm still breastfeeding my 2 year old and I'm 18 weeks pregnant (waiting for the milk to stop because I'm going insane and it's painful now)

My husband thinks I'm being completely hypocritical that I've decided I don't want to breastfeed my third baby.

But honestly, I've never been able to lose weight until ironically when I stopped BF and was pregnant!

And I've found it very suffocating for basically 5 years now!

This baby was not planned and my 2 year old still doesn't sleep through the night. My 5 year old did when she stopped feeding!

And if I'm frankly honest, all my friends with FF babies tend to live easier stress free lives. The babies appear more content and happier and the thought of my breast not being my own again for another 2 or so years is daunting!

I've also started getting Bf aversions and I think it's contributed to post natal depression in the past!

Would I regret it?! Am I being unreasonable?

Wean the two year old now.

When the unexpected third arrived I admit I did mixed feeding. My supply had diminished, I had mastitis very badly. One boob basically stopped working.

Be kind to yourself stock up on Aptamil and let daddy help out

This is super timely - fed no. 1 for 14 months, second for 16 months.

Last night with my 10 week old I thought to myself at 2 in morning..do you know what, I don't want to play silly buggers all night for the next year, maybe I'll start formula.

I'm considering it. You would not be unreasonable. There are a lot of factors in the decision beyond nutrition for the baby.

Tell your dh to jog on.....as if the baby even cares so long as he/she is fed.

I think it makes no difference at all how the get fed in the long run.

I did both and still didn’t think it was a faff with bottles. It takes less than 5 mins to wash bottles in the evening and stick them in a microwave steriliser. It then takes a few minutes to make a bottle, or you can use pre-made out and about.
It took a similar amount of time for me to get a snack and a drink and a pillow to prop baby up and then sit down to breastfeed.

I just think people are so dramatic about how it’s SO MUCH FAFF when actually it’s about 10 minutes out of your entire day.

I hate the term fed is best. No shit. You're obviously going to feed the baby. Not let them starve 🙄

@Albiboba like someone else said, faff is very subjective. I didn't have the option of pre made and my second fed like she'd read the book.

Comparison between the two was that it was easier not doing any bottles.

I don't think you need to make the decision now, OP, and nor do you have to breastfeed for 2 or more years. It's totally reasonable to breastfeed babies for different amounts of time as your situation demands.

If I were you I would wean the 2 year old now, and then see where you are when you get closer to the birth. You can also combi-feed or breastfeed for a few months/weeks only.

Do what works for you and your family. Some people do find FF easier so it preserves their energy, plus partners can do it.

BF has health benefits but the difference is mainly seen at population level ie measurable difference is small so it only shows up on a big sample

It’s no business of your ILs so just offer loud details about nipples and they will soon keep their opinions to themselves.

@Emmamoo89 so do you think you can’t be informed and chose to FF?

You do what's best for you. Have you night weaned your 2 year old? If not then get your partner to deal with them at night instead of you.
It's not unreasonable for you not to want to bf your 3rd but bottle feeding can be more of a hassle when you're out or running after the other 2.
You don't need to make any decisions now and it's no one else's choice but yours. Feeding a squishy newborn is much nicer than a toddler!

I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant sat here nap trapped as my 20 month old won’t sleep without a boob in her mouth. I might feel different when baby arrives but I do not plan on breastfeeding against this moment in time. I don’t feel guilty about that either x

I think you need to know all options and support and go from there. It's entirely based on circumstances.

and the vipers are out again, hiding behind faux concern

I think everyone is pretty informed these days.

Not really...

Absolutely this. I am informed and I choose not to breastfeed. My choice. My baby can and will thrive whether he is fed with a breast or a bottle. I may need to measure my baby's milk but using formula, in no way, measures my ability as a mother.

I've breastfed my kids for 7 years. if I could turn back time I wouldnt do it again because:

It made me fat
It made me perimenoausal at 40
It made me depressed
It made me sleep deprived
It stole my sex life and I no longer share a bed with my partner
It made my kids quite clingy
it made me feel too touched out and irritable around others who wanted physical touch.
It didn't stop my youngest being very behind developmentally.
It narrowed my world, couldn't do much in first year due to needing to be around the kids to feed
My breaks at work were spent pumping rather than relaxing.

In hindsight it was shit. I wish I FF, but thought it was doing the right thing.

I think it has a hugely negative impact on me and the benefits to my kids are negligible. I had a really easy time starting the process too, so didn't even go through that. It wasn't worth it, but you don't have to do one or the other. You could try combi feeding.

It's your body, so your choice and not your partners or the GP's.

I wasn't informed at all about FF before I had kids, had no idea how much was involved in preparing bottles. Think I naively just assumed it would be like preparing a hot chocolate or something. Had no idea about the risks from bacteria.

Sorry to interrupt the sparring.

OP, why don’t you wean your 2yo now to give yourself a break, and just see how you feel when your baby arrives? You may find you actually want to BF when they place the baby on you.

I weaned DC1 when I got pregnant with DC2, because of aversions and nausea (and he was 2.5yo so had a good run).

Just want to add that I worked FT from 9 months, so it was hard probably for that reason. May have felt differently if I was a SAHP.

That is a very honest post. Fair play.

Me too.

YABU for thinking FF is easier than BF

YANBU for doing or not doing whatever you like with your own boobs.

YAB a bit U for not treating DC3 in the same way based on the fact they were unplanned.

I couldn't deny a child the benefits of bf, planned or unplanned.

It's YOUR choice! I only have the one child, I never wanted to breastfeed, I just knew it wasn't for me, I'm not against it or anything, BUT when DD was born I felt pressure from midwives, partners family and my partner! I lasted about 3 days.... I was miserable..... switched to formula and it was a game changer! I now always say I'll make it clear to everyone - health professionals, friends, family etc .... that I WILL NOT be breastfeeding. My partner heavily disagrees...... I've told him where to shove his opinions 💪🏻🤣
Do what's right for YOU! If your happy, baby will happy. And I have a very happy, healthy 16month old and we have an incredible bond xxx

My mother bottle fed me and breast fed my brother. We have both turned out equally healthy and equally intelligent and I do not feel like she loved him more. If your husband has a problem with it he can breastfeed the baby.