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Original poster

Did I steal their cat? (Sorry long)

284 replies

Babbitybowsters · 25/03/2023 10:09

Apologies for the long post but don't want to dripfeed.

I fostered a cat for 2 years for a woman and two kids, because they didn't have anywhere to live that would accept cats. The woman actually didn't contact me for 1 whole year so I thought he was actually my cat now.

She did however get in touch at Xmas to ask for him back. I didn't want to upset her kids and thought it was the right thing to do so I gave him back in January and we kept in touch.

After two weeks (early Feb) the 12 year old let him out and he ran off and then the family went out for the day. He then went missing for 5 weeks and was found by them emaciated and near death having been trapped in an outdoor store cupboard for that time. During that time I couldn't eat or sleep for worry and did everything I could to get him back. I even begged them for the chip number to update his details as they hadn't done it. And I registered the details in my name as they still don't really have permanent address or reliable phone number (long story).

The day after he was found they took him to the PDSA vet came to see me as I lived next to the PDSA vets and we all went together to see him. The vet asked someone to visit in the morning to move him to another vets. The woman asked me as she lived a 30 min train journey away and didn't want to have to get up so early because she is on her own and heavily pregnant. I agreed and picked him up last Thursday and transported him from the night vet to the day vet. At that point he had a seizure and the vet was suggesting putting him to sleep. I begged him not to. It was agreed that we give him to 5pm that day to make a decision. The woman said she wouldn't come unless there was a definite decision and again asked me to go. To my amazement he had perked up and the vet said I could take him home and, being so in shock, I took him to my flat 2 mins from the vets.

As soon he got there he was purring and going back to all his old spots (even though he could barely walk). It was like he had never left and all his things from the past 2 years are here. He is sleeping on my chest everynight.

Last Friday I asked the woman if they would like to come and visit him and they said they would and then didn't turn up. At that point I decided it would be wrong to move him again, as he is so settled here and I'd miss him so much. I also feel they were a bit irresponsible letting him out so soon etc.

I've now spent £400 at my own vets getting home blood tests etc and getting him special food which I know they can't afford as they are currently using food banks.

I wrote the family a nice letter asking if he could stay with me and saying I felt it would be cruel to unsettle him again. The family have responded saying the 12 year is crying every day and he "needs to come home!". But surely his home is here, where I kept him safe for the last 2 years?

Thanks for reading as I am so very torn, particularly as I don't want to upset a child.

OP posts:
Jetstream · 25/03/2023 14:02

Some friends stole a neglected dog from a landlord’s property. They looked after him while they living in a rented house on the property. The landlord only fed him milk, he slept outside and chased cars which resulted in a broken leg. My friends took care of him, landlord didn’t care. .
After they moved they offered to take the dog off the landlord, he refused their offer.
They went back to try and take the dog but the dog ran away. Eventually friend’s husband went back and got the dog into the car and surprised my friend on her birthday.
Now the dog has a happy life. He has changed for the better and is a gorgeous boy.
Keep receipts for food board and vet bills. Say nothing, if they ask just say you don’t know where he is.

catsnore · 25/03/2023 14:04

WimpoleHat · 25/03/2023 10:25

The family have responded saying the 12 year is crying every day and he "needs to come home!".

Say “of course - what date is convenient? Will you send me the £400 for the vet’s bill via bank transfer or is cash when you collect easier?”. Bet you never hear from them again.

This!!!

WarningToTheCurious · 25/03/2023 14:06

Some useful info here, especially in the Q&A section:

http://www.thecatgroup.org.uk/pdfs/Cats-law-web.pdf

You could argue that, as they failed to keep the cat securely and then didn’t search for it adequately (whose outdoor store was he locked in?), they effectively abandoned the cat and by failing to provide food or care for 5 weeks has caused unnecessary suffering under the Animal Welfare Act 2006.

Wanttobeyou · 25/03/2023 14:08

I would definitely tell them the cat is dead and ask how they'd like prepayments for your costs.

You'll never hear from them again.

She's lying about her kid being upset. It's your cat!

OohThatCat · 25/03/2023 14:12

They’ve ignored you looking after the poor thing for such a long time, ignore them back and keep the cat. They’ve proven there are unreliable owners and doesn’t sound like they can properly take care of him. She’s lying about the 12 year old, he’s half the reason the poor cat got in the state it did. Thank you for being so kind and taking care of it.

Summerpetal · 25/03/2023 14:12

Tell her you want the £400 back you spent on him ,say you need it for bills desperately
then they get the cat back
obviously they won’t give u £400 ,and if they think you are going to chase hem for it ,they may leave u alone

TomeTome · 25/03/2023 14:23

and then didn’t search for it adequately (whose outdoor store was he locked in?), they effectively abandoned the cat
how can you know that? Cats get locked in to garages and sheds all the time round here. Honestly OP there are LOTS of cats in the UK, why do you have to take this child’s cat?

chezpopbang · 25/03/2023 14:28

Tell them they will have to pay you back for the vet bill and you wont give him back till they do. I'm sure the mum will make the child get over it when she knows she has to find £400.

Thoughtful2355 · 25/03/2023 14:36

ignore for as long as possible until you think you cant ignore any longer, then send a message saying cat is at vets again and they are going to put him to sleep as having seizures. would you like to say goodbye as itll be done today.

Most likely they wont because they probably dont actually give a sht.

Then you can keep the cat forever.

WarningToTheCurious · 25/03/2023 14:45

TomeTome · 25/03/2023 14:23

and then didn’t search for it adequately (whose outdoor store was he locked in?), they effectively abandoned the cat
how can you know that? Cats get locked in to garages and sheds all the time round here. Honestly OP there are LOTS of cats in the UK, why do you have to take this child’s cat?

From the OP:

After two weeks (early Feb) the 12 year old let him out and he ran off and then the family went out for the day. He then went missing for 5 weeks and was found by them emaciated and near death having been trapped in an outdoor store cupboard for that time.

Hence the question - whose store cupboard was it?

If it was their cupboard - they didn't do a very good job of looking for a period of 5 weeks, did they?

leilani83 · 25/03/2023 14:50

Don't give him back! They don't care about him!

TheGoogleMum · 25/03/2023 14:53

If they're relying on food banks they won't afford any future vets bills or specialist food.
The best thing for the cat is to stay with you but I see they probably won't see it that way. I think if you insist on being reimbursed for vet bills that will stop them claiming cat back.
I do feel a little sorry for them to lose their cat but to not be in touch for a year how bothered about cat can they be really?

Treaclemine · 25/03/2023 14:55

A friend had a cat adopt them, as they do, turning up wanting food until it came in and was effectively theirs. Then a family from a street away claimed it was theirs and took them to court for theft. The court found that you cannot steal a cat if it goes off and adopts you, and it stayed with the friend,
You have a much better case, because of their neglect.

WestendVBroadway · 25/03/2023 15:00

@Sassyfox Fostering pets is a very common thing.
I fostered a dog for almost 3 years and will have small animals like mice or rabbits for months or years at a time.
I have to give them back because they’re not mine.
Who paid all the expenses above basic food eg vets bills, treatments etc?

Un7breakable · 25/03/2023 15:09

Don't lie just point out vets bills etc and ask for the money. You won't hear back.

LoobyDop · 25/03/2023 15:11

Keep him. He’s happy with you, you’re giving him the care he needs, they weren’t. He’s better off with you, and that trumps a 12 year old being upset.

Sassyfox · 25/03/2023 15:14

WestendVBroadway · 25/03/2023 15:00

@Sassyfox Fostering pets is a very common thing.
I fostered a dog for almost 3 years and will have small animals like mice or rabbits for months or years at a time.
I have to give them back because they’re not mine.
Who paid all the expenses above basic food eg vets bills, treatments etc?

Mine is through a domestic violence charity and they pay all of the costs.

If I could afford it then I wouldn’t mind paying them but I wouldn’t be able to do it if I paid the costs myself.

I don’t know how other places do it though.

I fostered my dog for a few weeks through a rescue centre and they paid for her vaccinations and neutering and I paid for her food.
If there was a vets bill then they would have paid.

There was the option to keep her but the plan was to look after her until she found a new home and then get another one, so they didn’t have to stay in kennels for too long but I ended up keeping her and so I’ve not done it again as I know I’d end up keeping the next one too 😁

mybeautifuloak · 25/03/2023 16:19

Tell them the cat has had more seizures and is going to need a lot of treatment. The vet suggests to pts. So far they owe you £400 for vet bills so. Would they like to register the cat at a practice nearer then for ongoing treatment? Meanwhile here's my back details for the £400.
You won't see them or hear from them again.

mybeautifuloak · 25/03/2023 16:20

diddl · 25/03/2023 11:28

I'm not sure why the woman should have to pay a vet's bill for stuff that Op chose to have done after she decided to keep the cat herself because the woman didn't turn up for a visit.

That said it does sound as if there is a lot going on & the woman isn't able to afford/prioritise the cat.

Because otherwise the cat would likely be dead. So there would be no cat. If they want the cat they need to accept the bill that resulted in the cat being alive.

TomeTome · 25/03/2023 16:33

WarningToTheCurious · 25/03/2023 14:45

From the OP:

After two weeks (early Feb) the 12 year old let him out and he ran off and then the family went out for the day. He then went missing for 5 weeks and was found by them emaciated and near death having been trapped in an outdoor store cupboard for that time.

Hence the question - whose store cupboard was it?

If it was their cupboard - they didn't do a very good job of looking for a period of 5 weeks, did they?

Show quote history

Though we’re obviously still searching weeks later?

LouisCatorze · 25/03/2023 16:49

Is there any reason to lie though? I think everyone is correct in thinking that once presented with a £400 vet's bill, the woman will run for the hills and you'll not hear another peep from her, ever!

WestendVBroadway · 25/03/2023 17:04

@Sassyfox , I think you miss my point. Yes you fostered animals and yes you gave them back. However you did not incur any costs for their care and maintenance. The OP has spent a considerable amount of her own money, so it does not really compare with you being reimbursed for caring for your mindees.

Sassyfox · 25/03/2023 17:23

@WestendVBroadway but OP agreed to this.

The vet said the cat should be PTS and the OP didn’t want it and so paid extra, again it was her choice to do so.

I do think OP could provide a better home but the facts are that they had an agreement that she would foster it until the owner got a permanent home and then return it.
You cannot just decide to want to keep it.

verdantverdure · 25/03/2023 17:29

If your name is on the chip then legally the cat is yours.

You gave him back.

They lost him.

TomeTome · 25/03/2023 18:11

Her name is on the chip because they agreed she could do that as they didn’t have a phone. It sounds like you offered to give it a home while they were homeless and didn’t ask for money because you thought having the cat was reparation enough, but then you fell in love with it and have managed to run up extra vets bills and get your name on the chip to position yourself to keep it.
It belongs to a 12 year old who has been homeless and now is about to have a new sibling and you think taking her cat is justified because she’s poor and let it out after two weeks but it got trapped somewhere. I think you are blinded by wanting a cat that doesn’t belong to you. Sorry @Babbitybowsters you are not being kind or reasonable.