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Original poster

Did I steal their cat? (Sorry long)

284 replies

Babbitybowsters · 25/03/2023 10:09

Apologies for the long post but don't want to dripfeed.

I fostered a cat for 2 years for a woman and two kids, because they didn't have anywhere to live that would accept cats. The woman actually didn't contact me for 1 whole year so I thought he was actually my cat now.

She did however get in touch at Xmas to ask for him back. I didn't want to upset her kids and thought it was the right thing to do so I gave him back in January and we kept in touch.

After two weeks (early Feb) the 12 year old let him out and he ran off and then the family went out for the day. He then went missing for 5 weeks and was found by them emaciated and near death having been trapped in an outdoor store cupboard for that time. During that time I couldn't eat or sleep for worry and did everything I could to get him back. I even begged them for the chip number to update his details as they hadn't done it. And I registered the details in my name as they still don't really have permanent address or reliable phone number (long story).

The day after he was found they took him to the PDSA vet came to see me as I lived next to the PDSA vets and we all went together to see him. The vet asked someone to visit in the morning to move him to another vets. The woman asked me as she lived a 30 min train journey away and didn't want to have to get up so early because she is on her own and heavily pregnant. I agreed and picked him up last Thursday and transported him from the night vet to the day vet. At that point he had a seizure and the vet was suggesting putting him to sleep. I begged him not to. It was agreed that we give him to 5pm that day to make a decision. The woman said she wouldn't come unless there was a definite decision and again asked me to go. To my amazement he had perked up and the vet said I could take him home and, being so in shock, I took him to my flat 2 mins from the vets.

As soon he got there he was purring and going back to all his old spots (even though he could barely walk). It was like he had never left and all his things from the past 2 years are here. He is sleeping on my chest everynight.

Last Friday I asked the woman if they would like to come and visit him and they said they would and then didn't turn up. At that point I decided it would be wrong to move him again, as he is so settled here and I'd miss him so much. I also feel they were a bit irresponsible letting him out so soon etc.

I've now spent £400 at my own vets getting home blood tests etc and getting him special food which I know they can't afford as they are currently using food banks.

I wrote the family a nice letter asking if he could stay with me and saying I felt it would be cruel to unsettle him again. The family have responded saying the 12 year is crying every day and he "needs to come home!". But surely his home is here, where I kept him safe for the last 2 years?

Thanks for reading as I am so very torn, particularly as I don't want to upset a child.

OP posts:
threwitout · 25/03/2023 12:54

Totally agree you should keep this cat but I wouldn't get involved in lies about it.

I think there are two obvious options

Tell them you have paid £400 on vet bills for their cat, send copy invoices/receipts and say that you need this paid. Agree with whoever says you'll never hear from these people ever again.

Or just stop responding and see what happens. I don't think they will be coming to claim him.

If they get in touch then say if it's their cat you need the cost of the vet bills and food for the cat whilst it's been recuperating from you.

I really don't think whatever fuss they make by text they are actually going to bothered to come to get this cat. I mean it was nearly dead and they couldn't be arsed.

WestendVBroadway · 25/03/2023 12:55

@Babbitybowsters Why did the fake owner not turn up as promised last time? Reply with , " As you now have finally remembered that you are the owner, I will be charging a daily fee for care and food etc, Please pay on collection. " The longer she leaves it , the more she owes.

KittyAlfred · 25/03/2023 12:58

I’d just say that cat’s gone missing again.

WombatChocolate · 25/03/2023 12:58

I would message them and say that he is still very ill and needing further treatment , estimated to cost another £500. Say you’ve spent £400 so far. Say they are welcome to have him back and to let you know how they would like to pay you the money you’ve already spent, and can then come and get him.

A day later, I would message again to say you’ve got some terrible news and he went downhill and has sadly died. Say having spent £400 on him, you’d still appreciate that money back.

Oooh….I’ve enjoyed concocting that story. I imagine you who tbhear from them again.

How far away do they live? Is there any chance of them being near your house and spitting him outside or through your window….ie not dead. If so and they raised it, I think I’d simply say it was a different cat and you got him as he reminded you of the old one.

I think I’m a natural liar!

Honestly, according to your posts they haven’t taken any responsibility for the cat. Assuming everything you say is correct (and I have known some genuine cat ‘stealers’ to justify themselves by saying the owners don’t look after it, when actually they do) then I don’t think I’d have been communicating with them as long as you have and just taken it as a given that it is now your cat. The error was continuing to communicate with them and ask them what they wanted to do. They clearly didn’t give a shit about putting themselves out for cat or paying its bills. They simply are entitled people who want the cat for ownership sake, in good times only. They have taken advantage of you. Time to put a stop to it.

Emotionalsupportviper · 25/03/2023 13:04

In retrospect OP, when she finally got back in touch with you, you should have told her the cat had been run over, but you couldn't let her know because she had gone NC with you. She would have been none the wiser and you would have saved yourself 400 quid!

Easy to be wise after the event, but this is what I will do if this ever happens to me. You were too honest for your own good.

Novatherova · 25/03/2023 13:05

100000% you're not in the wrong.

They don't deserve him or you for that matter. Tell them he past away.

The Mum simply couldn't be bothered going the vets pregnant or not. If my cat was 30 minutes away really sick id get myself there somehow.

He nearly died because of them. Very irresponsible. Did I read it right that they all went out for the day the day he ran off?

Not that bothered then are they.

You and him have a happy and safe life together.

Wisheverydaywasfriday · 25/03/2023 13:10

Definitely do NOT give them the cat. They clearly don’t care about the poor thing, and you’ve given it a wonderful life with you.

LuckyPeonies · 25/03/2023 13:11

Dreadful people , please, please block them and keep the poor cat. And where was he locked in an area outdoor cupboard for weeks? Was it at their residence? If so, they did not even search for him properly.

Also, if they are skint and having another baby, the poor cat will go from their lowest priority to no priority, and will likely be turned out to fend for himself anyway.

I hope he has not sustained permanent damage due to their neglect of him and will make a full recovery, please update when you can.

verdantverdure · 25/03/2023 13:11

Do what's best for the cat.

Namechangingagain111 · 25/03/2023 13:15

If they truly believe it's their cat, they should be paying you for the vet fees that you've incurred. Ask them for the money and see how quickly they decide he's your cat after all !!

Yogazmum · 25/03/2023 13:15

Agree with most other posters…
Tell them the cat sadly passed away.
Send an invoice for the £400 and say it was for bill/euthanasia/cremation and ask if they want the ashes (put some cigarette ash mixed with cat litter in a box & send pic)
Enjoy letting your cat live it’s twilight years with you 💕

Sassyfox · 25/03/2023 13:17

Oh my oh my samish story 4 years ago...A cat turned up at our house 4 years ago

That’s a completely different situation.

OP agreed to foster the cat whilst it’s owners were homeless.

Some posters are completely missing the main part of this situation, which is that this wasn’t an abandoned cat.
This was an agreement between adults that OP would look after the cat until the owner can have it back.

Fostering pets is a very common thing.
I fostered a dog for almost 3 years and will have small animals like mice or rabbits for months or years at a time.
I have to give them back because they’re not mine.

ADHDVet · 25/03/2023 13:17

SwedishEdith · 25/03/2023 10:34

The 12 year old needs a guinea pig or something instead.

Please update us if you hear from them again. I'm invested in how cheeky this family is.

Absolutely not. Guinea pigs are harder to care for and often more expensive to keep than cats. One of mine cost me £8k in 3 months before I was a vet myself.

Orangepolentacake · 25/03/2023 13:25

Sassyfox · 25/03/2023 13:17

Oh my oh my samish story 4 years ago...A cat turned up at our house 4 years ago

That’s a completely different situation.

OP agreed to foster the cat whilst it’s owners were homeless.

Some posters are completely missing the main part of this situation, which is that this wasn’t an abandoned cat.
This was an agreement between adults that OP would look after the cat until the owner can have it back.

Fostering pets is a very common thing.
I fostered a dog for almost 3 years and will have small animals like mice or rabbits for months or years at a time.
I have to give them back because they’re not mine.

You’ll have mice for years at a time? They only live a couple years, no?

TheIsleOfTheLost · 25/03/2023 13:26

Yes you stole their cat. You registered it in your name without their consent and now won't give it back. Not saying that is a bad thing. In the years they have had to provide a stable home for it they have not managed. I would be careful about saying it died as they might pursue it if they find out you are lying. You don't want to get a criminal record for doing the right thing. I would have a conversion with them about if they can't afford the £400 vets bill and have no fixed address then they are really not the most suitable owners.

CaveatmTOR · 25/03/2023 13:27

Thanks, @Emotionalsupportviper I am currently feeding a cat that I suspect is living in one of our outbuildings having lived at a nearby property until the family up sticks, moved to Shropshire leaving at least three cats behind (the bastards).

There was originally three whom I called Sid, Spooky and Tiny but only tiny remains now. He is feral but after a year, he will let me touch him on his head if he is eating. I don't though as he hates it and I don't want him to think he has to be touched to be fed. I do it as I have no pets currently due to ill health and I just like to look at him up close as he is so beautiful.

I have no idea what I would do if he were injured. He would never allow handling but I would pay in a shot because he is on this life journey like the rest of us and you have to help out a fellow critter where possible and if the OP has to scheme, lie and obfuscate in order to get that cat's needs met, she is a heroine in my eyes.

Sassyfox · 25/03/2023 13:29

Orangepolentacake · 25/03/2023 13:25

You’ll have mice for years at a time? They only live a couple years, no?

Show quote history

Yes but about 3 years max I’d say.
I’ve never had nice longer than 2 years so I’m not sure.

Hongkongsuey · 25/03/2023 13:30

I wouldn’t normally lie but I could t return the cat to those people. Like everyone else, just say it’s died or you’re taking it to the vets again but in the meantime can they repay the money they owe you for its treatment so far. Bet you’ll never hear from them. You and your cat deserve each other😊.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 25/03/2023 13:40

I really don't think whatever fuss they make by text they are actually going to bothered to come to get this cat. I mean it was nearly dead and they couldn't be arsed

Possibly not, but those who are thoroughly irresponsible - in fact sometimes especially those - can often get quite excited if they feel they've been thwarted in any way and make quite a lot of noise about it

IME of such cases reason rarely works, but money can - hence the suggestions of wanting back the spends on the cat before handing it over

NoSquirrels · 25/03/2023 13:45

Whilst it is a shame that the 12-year-old is upset, that’s not a reason to give the cat back to a place where it will be neglected. And it would be. That’s not the 12-year-old’s fault, but that family is in no position to care for this cat. Keep them, please. You’ve done nothing wrong so far, other than being kind and caring, but if you give the cat up now that would be the wrong thing to do for the cat.

majesticminimilk · 25/03/2023 13:48

Not replying would bother me. I would say something like this : -

'When you left him with me for a year and didn't contact me I thought you had given him to me. You didn't pay for anything during that time and haven't paid any of the £400 vet, medicine and special food bills from last month. He needs special food for the rest of his life which costs ££ per month. He needs blood tests which cost ££ per year. Do you not think it would be better for him to stay here where I can give him the medical treatment he needs? I am happy for 12yo to visit him any time.'

The mum can tell 12yo she can't afford the food and medicine but can visit cat any time. Your conscience is clear.

Emotionalsupportviper · 25/03/2023 13:50

CaveatmTOR · 25/03/2023 13:27

Thanks, @Emotionalsupportviper I am currently feeding a cat that I suspect is living in one of our outbuildings having lived at a nearby property until the family up sticks, moved to Shropshire leaving at least three cats behind (the bastards).

There was originally three whom I called Sid, Spooky and Tiny but only tiny remains now. He is feral but after a year, he will let me touch him on his head if he is eating. I don't though as he hates it and I don't want him to think he has to be touched to be fed. I do it as I have no pets currently due to ill health and I just like to look at him up close as he is so beautiful.

I have no idea what I would do if he were injured. He would never allow handling but I would pay in a shot because he is on this life journey like the rest of us and you have to help out a fellow critter where possible and if the OP has to scheme, lie and obfuscate in order to get that cat's needs met, she is a heroine in my eyes.

There are some absolute barstewards about, @CaveatmTOR - they regard animals as expendable and don't think twice about dumping a vulnerable creature which is totally dependent upon them. They get (and dump) dog after dog and cat after cat and treat them like they were bits of machinery.

I hope karma bites them really hard on the *rse - but sadly, many seem to flourish.

123wentaway · 25/03/2023 13:51

Reddickyouless · 25/03/2023 10:15

Tell them he's run away and keep him.normally I'd disagree with keeping someone's pet but they sound like shit owners
Poor old boy

This. Or the cat died.
Keep the cat and block their number.

HeadacheEarthquake · 25/03/2023 13:52

WimpoleHat · 25/03/2023 10:25

The family have responded saying the 12 year is crying every day and he "needs to come home!".

Say “of course - what date is convenient? Will you send me the £400 for the vet’s bill via bank transfer or is cash when you collect easier?”. Bet you never hear from them again.

This!

100% this. Also can we have a picture of the little cutie?

7eleven · 25/03/2023 13:54

Under no circumstances give him back. They are feckless and I think it would be irresponsible of you to do so.

He wants to be with you. Tell them to eff off.