Did I steal their cat? (Sorry long)

[Babbitybowsters]

Apologies for the long post but don't want to dripfeed.

I fostered a cat for 2 years for a woman and two kids, because they didn't have anywhere to live that would accept cats. The woman actually didn't contact me for 1 whole year so I thought he was actually my cat now.

She did however get in touch at Xmas to ask for him back. I didn't want to upset her kids and thought it was the right thing to do so I gave him back in January and we kept in touch.

After two weeks (early Feb) the 12 year old let him out and he ran off and then the family went out for the day. He then went missing for 5 weeks and was found by them emaciated and near death having been trapped in an outdoor store cupboard for that time. During that time I couldn't eat or sleep for worry and did everything I could to get him back. I even begged them for the chip number to update his details as they hadn't done it. And I registered the details in my name as they still don't really have permanent address or reliable phone number (long story).

The day after he was found they took him to the PDSA vet came to see me as I lived next to the PDSA vets and we all went together to see him. The vet asked someone to visit in the morning to move him to another vets. The woman asked me as she lived a 30 min train journey away and didn't want to have to get up so early because she is on her own and heavily pregnant. I agreed and picked him up last Thursday and transported him from the night vet to the day vet. At that point he had a seizure and the vet was suggesting putting him to sleep. I begged him not to. It was agreed that we give him to 5pm that day to make a decision. The woman said she wouldn't come unless there was a definite decision and again asked me to go. To my amazement he had perked up and the vet said I could take him home and, being so in shock, I took him to my flat 2 mins from the vets.

As soon he got there he was purring and going back to all his old spots (even though he could barely walk). It was like he had never left and all his things from the past 2 years are here. He is sleeping on my chest everynight.

Last Friday I asked the woman if they would like to come and visit him and they said they would and then didn't turn up. At that point I decided it would be wrong to move him again, as he is so settled here and I'd miss him so much. I also feel they were a bit irresponsible letting him out so soon etc.

I've now spent £400 at my own vets getting home blood tests etc and getting him special food which I know they can't afford as they are currently using food banks.

I wrote the family a nice letter asking if he could stay with me and saying I felt it would be cruel to unsettle him again. The family have responded saying the 12 year is crying every day and he "needs to come home!". But surely his home is here, where I kept him safe for the last 2 years?

Thanks for reading as I am so very torn, particularly as I don't want to upset a child.

I'd say it's run away again rather than died. At least that way they won't turn up for something to bury.

I'm pretty confident that cats are not owned in law like a dog can be.

I too would lie my ass off but would get elaborate with it.

I would ring her really early one morning to say the cat has had a seizure and that you are taking it to the vet. I would then ring back after 45 minutes and say that he has died as you were loading him into the car and that you are burying him in blah spot, with this place being in a wood or park (not on your premises) so they can visit the grave. I would dig a bit of a grave in said spot.

I would also ask for the vet bill money and then do nothing expecting to never hear from these people ever again.

I would make sure the cat could never get out but as the chip is in your name. although it does not confer ownership, you would be alerted anyway.

The chances are the cat won't live much longer after his ordeal so it's only a lie in time shift mode. If she never pays the vet bill and she won't, in the unlikely event this all ends up in court, you have your reason for all of the above.

This covers all bases. You get to keep the cat and the cat gets ongoing love, support and veterinary attention. She thinks the cat is dead. There is a grave to visit if the kids wish to do so. You no longer have to interact with this total CF ever for the rest of your life.

This.

You updated the chip, didn't you? Your cat now - let them sue you for his return.

<spoiler alert: they won't>

Don't lie.

Tell them you will reconsider when they have repaid the £400 you spent on saving his life.

It's very sad that he died. I hope your new cat that happens to look very similar is a comfort to you.

The 12 year old needs a guinea pig or something instead.

The 12 year old probably doesn't need any pet at all. They seem to be quite cavalier in the way they treat/look after their pet, and when the new baby is born the mum won't have the time or the energy to fill any gaps in the animals care.

12 year olds "forget" to feed, water and clean out animals, and they often lose interest as they get older and develop teenage pursuits. My kids had rabbits and guinea pigs, but 9 times out of 10, Mr Viper or myself were the ones cleaning out hutches and checking water bottles, and I don't believe my kids were more lax than most other people's.

You're an animal lover and in a position to love and look after the cat.

I have no idea if the family are animal lovers but they don't sound in a position to look after him - and he nearly died under their 'care'.

No brainer from me, tell whatever fib you need to and enjoy the rest of your days together 😻

😂

I would tell them the cat has died and the bill for the cremation is waiting for them. My guess is you will never hear from them again.

They're not in any position to look after a pet, let alone a sick one.

Block her number and don't engage anymore.

Yes, exactly. You need ownership papers

Ownerships papers?

Which fantasy world do you live in?

I've had three cats in the past, and have two now, and in every case the only thing that changed hands were the kittens and a small bag of damp cat litter from their mum's litter tray, to attract them to the new one in their new home.

Only pedigree cats have "ownership papers".

The family in question should do the right thing by the cat and give it to you, OP. They are clearly not in any position, in the foreseeable future, to be looking after the cat themselves. Totally unrealistic, particularly with a newborn about to add extra pressure on family finances, etc.

Is it feasible for you to keep the cat and her not find out? I'm not very clear how you know this woman or if there are any mutual acquaintances.

I'm not sure why the woman should have to pay a vet's bill for stuff that Op chose to have done after she decided to keep the cat herself because the woman didn't turn up for a visit.

If OP hadn't paid the vet bill the cat would be dead and the 12 year old could cry until his/her tiny eyeballs were just puddles on the floor and nothing would bring the cat back.

Pedigrees don’t have ownership papers they have pedigree papers listing their forebears.

Say “of course - what date is convenient? Will you send me the £400 for the vet’s bill via bank transfer or is cash when you collect easier?”. Bet you never hear from them again

This - and ignore any boo hooing about not having the money right now but paying you back "soon"

Strictly speaking it probably is still "their" cat, but owning one means responsibility for vets' bills and somehow I doubt they'll welcome that

I wouldn't say he was dead. I would keep the cat.

Your whole post is inspired.

I would also ask for the vet bill money and then do nothing expecting to never hear from these people ever again.

I agreee OP will never hear from her. the last cat I had PTS cost £95 (and then they had the cheek to send me a Sympathy on your loss" card). Euthanasia isn't cheap and if this woman is living out of food banks she won't be able to afford it.

Take a photograph of the "grave" OP and post it to her.

While I feel sorry for her kids, they aren't in a position to care for so much as a stick insect at the moment. Animals aren't toys, and they aren't expendable.

I think legally you can not own a cat but you can own the microchip inside the cat so...

100% keep him. She is a terrible cat owner who doesn’t want to know when the cat is costing her money or is an inconvenience. Tell him he died.

I stand corrected.

I did put "ownership papers" within apostrophes to indicate that I was using it as a blanket term - I imagine that, like dogs, the pedigree goes with the pet and is indicative of "ownership".

Oh my oh my samish story 4 years ago...A cat turned up at our house 4 years ago in winter all emaciated, fleas,he had lots of wounds on his head and 1 ear was totally flat and 1 was all bare of fur,he had a lot of infections and I was all for letting it in but hubby said no a few hours later the little hadnt moved and we rang rspca but they were to busy to come out and suggested put local vet. So at our own expense we took the cat and the vet took pictures he was so shocked at the cats state.Anyway by the time a week was up the cat was in our house eating tuna,having meds healing up and living a good life. We would leave the back door open if it wanted to go, also hubby asked around the streets if it was anyone's cat and I also posted pics on several Facebook sites and after 3 months no replies and cat had practically moved in. We took it back to vet, and he had his injections, wormers etc.Then another 6months on and the cat now called Buddy started peeing in the house and vet said he needed done because he was male marking his territory.So told vet how buddy came to us and he had no chip etc and was eventually done and chipped. Now almost a year had passed and I got home one day to a note on the door saying he had been run over and killed and was at the local vet and his new collar we got him was hanging on the door handle.Pretty much straight away I rang local vet theres only one in my town and they had no black and white cat so then I rang further afield nobody had a black and white dead cat. I was so upset that hubby left work to come home. For the next 2 days i kept bursting into tears missing buddy. On day 3 I went out to do some gardening suddenly heard loud meows and who should come flying into the garden but buddy all purring,friendly and very hungry. I rang hubby at work and said buddy has just come home and he actually didn't believe me until I sent a watsap picture. We kept buddy in that day...a few days passed and there was knocking at the door a man said we had taken his cat apparently he caught the cat and it escaped out of a loft window ran along the roofs and onto a neighbours sunroom and then back to us.We explained the state he was originally in and showed him the old Facebook posts asking for owner and hubby said how we even went door knocking. The man then went on to say he couldn't afford to feed the cat at the time so let him out and he went to stay at his mother's for 3 months. He said he wanted cat back now.We asked if he put note on door saying cat been killed with collar.Man said yes to make us not look for buddy. I wanted to slap him it was a sick thing to do. Hubby told me to hush which at the time I nearly punched him for haha and said to the man "look mate buddy has had all this vet treatment and been spade,chipped,injections etc we will give him back if you just pay it back? The man said I can't pay im not made of money. So hubby said ok we will keep buddy and call the rspca as we have all pictures receipts,vet visits etc down in writing and the state buddy was in when he first turned up at our house and see. The man backed away from the house said no mate no mate keep the cat and before he went hubby got him to sign 2 papers one of the vet logs with all our details on from chipping saying he was giving cat to us etc. So now we have Buddy a big fat black and white cat totally spoilt now and has his regular vet checks. Oh and we moved house not long after this incident into the country yes just to keep a daft cat from getting took again or even really getting killed.
Oh and yes I did say to hubby why on earth did you offer cat back to man if he paid vet bills..He replied it was a bluff I hoped would work as I couldn't think of anything else that might.

Completely agree with all the previous posts - that poor cat cannot go back there!

They sound utterly neglectful and if they are relying on food banks, there is no way they can afford to properly look after this cat, especially with another baby on the way.

They don’t sound like good pet owners at all so in this instance I’d do as others have said and just say he died.

Havent read the entire thread but it sounds like they dont give a crap and will just misstreat the cat again. Give the little fella some comfort for what time he has left.

Oh and dont just tell them he has passed away, thats too easy and i suspect they wont believe you. Tell them he has taken a turn for the worse and its a choice between a £5000 operation and being put to sleep. I guarentee they will ask for you to get him put to sleep. Post them his collar and enjoy your time together