Did I steal their cat? (Sorry long)

[Babbitybowsters]

Apologies for the long post but don't want to dripfeed.

I fostered a cat for 2 years for a woman and two kids, because they didn't have anywhere to live that would accept cats. The woman actually didn't contact me for 1 whole year so I thought he was actually my cat now.

She did however get in touch at Xmas to ask for him back. I didn't want to upset her kids and thought it was the right thing to do so I gave him back in January and we kept in touch.

After two weeks (early Feb) the 12 year old let him out and he ran off and then the family went out for the day. He then went missing for 5 weeks and was found by them emaciated and near death having been trapped in an outdoor store cupboard for that time. During that time I couldn't eat or sleep for worry and did everything I could to get him back. I even begged them for the chip number to update his details as they hadn't done it. And I registered the details in my name as they still don't really have permanent address or reliable phone number (long story).

The day after he was found they took him to the PDSA vet came to see me as I lived next to the PDSA vets and we all went together to see him. The vet asked someone to visit in the morning to move him to another vets. The woman asked me as she lived a 30 min train journey away and didn't want to have to get up so early because she is on her own and heavily pregnant. I agreed and picked him up last Thursday and transported him from the night vet to the day vet. At that point he had a seizure and the vet was suggesting putting him to sleep. I begged him not to. It was agreed that we give him to 5pm that day to make a decision. The woman said she wouldn't come unless there was a definite decision and again asked me to go. To my amazement he had perked up and the vet said I could take him home and, being so in shock, I took him to my flat 2 mins from the vets.

As soon he got there he was purring and going back to all his old spots (even though he could barely walk). It was like he had never left and all his things from the past 2 years are here. He is sleeping on my chest everynight.

Last Friday I asked the woman if they would like to come and visit him and they said they would and then didn't turn up. At that point I decided it would be wrong to move him again, as he is so settled here and I'd miss him so much. I also feel they were a bit irresponsible letting him out so soon etc.

I've now spent £400 at my own vets getting home blood tests etc and getting him special food which I know they can't afford as they are currently using food banks.

I wrote the family a nice letter asking if he could stay with me and saying I felt it would be cruel to unsettle him again. The family have responded saying the 12 year is crying every day and he "needs to come home!". But surely his home is here, where I kept him safe for the last 2 years?

Thanks for reading as I am so very torn, particularly as I don't want to upset a child.

OP, the cat is safe and happy with you. In their hands it would already be dead.

These people took advantage of your good nature and have ended up setting the police on you because you said the cat needed to time to recover from the neglect which nearly killed him.

Yes, cats can get themselves shut in but if he was in an outhouse nearby for five weeks they were hardly scouring the streets and knocking on doors for him. And when it came to his veterinary treatment they left it all to you, both organising it and paying for it.

Then, without a word of thanks or an acknowledgement of your time, effort and expense, they expect you to hand him over, and when you hesitate they set the police on you!

CFs of the highest order, I’d say.

This is AIBU where you will always find posters who are going to argue night is day, water is dry, etc. Don’t pay any heed. A living animal is not a toy to be handed over regardless of what will happen to it.

In your shoes I would sooner give the cat to a rescue centre then back to them.

Keep them blocked. He’s your cat now, and very lucky to have you.

Keep the cat. Tell them it took a turn for the worst and you had to have it put down.

My brother is like this - he used to have two cats that he neglected horribly. He wouldn't give them up as they were his and he'd be too upset, but didn't actually want to bother looking after them. We got them off him eventually and they live with my parents now.

Do what's best for the cat and sod the owners.

Had the OP not had the cat, it would be dead. I think it's weird to return an animal to people who are not capable of keeping it alive don't you?

Cats like their own patch and entrenching it in yours any longer than necessary is unkind. 12 year old lonely girls often have beautiful gentle relationships with cats that are mutually satisfying

As the cat has been with OP since 2020 I'm pretty sure it considers OPs home to be its patch.
I doubt a cat would find a relationship where it ends up dead "mutually satisfying".

It doesn’t sound as if they care about the cat at all. It’s about possession and control. Be careful they don’t just try to come and take him.

@7eleven good point. @Babbitybowsters I wonder if it might be best to have him be an indoor cat for a while during his recovery and the family’s resettlement so they can’t nab him.

Yes he's definitely not allowed out for the foreseeable. @JingsMahBucket

Babbitt, please, please, continue to do what is best for the cat, which is for you to keep him and not ever give him back to these people. He needs to be with the person who cares and will take the best care of him and keep him safe. And that is YOU, not these irresponsible morons !!