Did I steal their cat? (Sorry long)

[Babbitybowsters]

Apologies for the long post but don't want to dripfeed.

I fostered a cat for 2 years for a woman and two kids, because they didn't have anywhere to live that would accept cats. The woman actually didn't contact me for 1 whole year so I thought he was actually my cat now.

She did however get in touch at Xmas to ask for him back. I didn't want to upset her kids and thought it was the right thing to do so I gave him back in January and we kept in touch.

After two weeks (early Feb) the 12 year old let him out and he ran off and then the family went out for the day. He then went missing for 5 weeks and was found by them emaciated and near death having been trapped in an outdoor store cupboard for that time. During that time I couldn't eat or sleep for worry and did everything I could to get him back. I even begged them for the chip number to update his details as they hadn't done it. And I registered the details in my name as they still don't really have permanent address or reliable phone number (long story).

The day after he was found they took him to the PDSA vet came to see me as I lived next to the PDSA vets and we all went together to see him. The vet asked someone to visit in the morning to move him to another vets. The woman asked me as she lived a 30 min train journey away and didn't want to have to get up so early because she is on her own and heavily pregnant. I agreed and picked him up last Thursday and transported him from the night vet to the day vet. At that point he had a seizure and the vet was suggesting putting him to sleep. I begged him not to. It was agreed that we give him to 5pm that day to make a decision. The woman said she wouldn't come unless there was a definite decision and again asked me to go. To my amazement he had perked up and the vet said I could take him home and, being so in shock, I took him to my flat 2 mins from the vets.

As soon he got there he was purring and going back to all his old spots (even though he could barely walk). It was like he had never left and all his things from the past 2 years are here. He is sleeping on my chest everynight.

Last Friday I asked the woman if they would like to come and visit him and they said they would and then didn't turn up. At that point I decided it would be wrong to move him again, as he is so settled here and I'd miss him so much. I also feel they were a bit irresponsible letting him out so soon etc.

I've now spent £400 at my own vets getting home blood tests etc and getting him special food which I know they can't afford as they are currently using food banks.

I wrote the family a nice letter asking if he could stay with me and saying I felt it would be cruel to unsettle him again. The family have responded saying the 12 year is crying every day and he "needs to come home!". But surely his home is here, where I kept him safe for the last 2 years?

Thanks for reading as I am so very torn, particularly as I don't want to upset a child.

Thanks everyone, appreciate the supportive comments. Dcat currently snuggling on my lap after yesterday's drama. I've blocked because I'm so upset they went down this route when I was open to all options as long as we put Dcat first.

If they’re so determined to say he’s theirs, send them vets bill.

After that update, they can really go to fuck! This is not about what a kid or the family wants! This is about what is best for the poor cat. Block them on every channel and do not engage.

Nuclear option could be small claims court for vet fees, with the option to you to withdraw if they sign him over to you.

He is where he belongs, thank goodness.

I hope this is the end of their shenanigans. But if there is a peep out of them do present them with the bills for his treatment and upkeep.

Amazing news. You're obviously a lovely caring person.

They sound awful and unreliable. Please keep this kitty cat who is so happy with you and properly looked after.

Bloody hell OP. I'm in Scotland too and a vet nurse. I've never heard of this at all. On what grounds did the police visit, police Scotland is just a fucking shitshow!

It's pretty evident that you can take better care of this cat than his "owner."

If she does take you to court you can counter 2yrs worth of vet bills and food.

While I in no way condone folk poaching someone's cat you have provided this poor boy with stability and love for the last two years.

Block all contact.

The cats better off with you for sure. Agree just tell them the cats run off, you probably won’t hear from them after a little while

It was touch and go, and I believe if I didn't have the chip papers they would have taken him as I couldn't prove ownership. but of course you couldn’t prove you owned a cat you don’t own. If they brought it home all the way from Germany with a passport they aren’t really going to let you keep him are they?

@TomeTome the woman brought him over because the child made it a demand of moving here. But the child isn't able to be responsible for the welfare of the cat. And the woman's life at the moment is too chaotic for me to feel comfortable giving him back just now. Not sure what part of this isn't clear.

@Babbitybowsters I understand it comes from a good place but I don’t think you can just take someone’s cat because you feel it’s owners aren’t the sort of people it should be living with. If they came back all the way from Germany two years ago, which would have been early 2021 or late 2020 that would have been mid pandemic and lockdown. Of course they have found it difficult to get back on their feet. You offered to care for it as a favour, and insisted on changing the details on the chip to your own presumably also as a favour, and then have used that to substantiate a claim on their pet. The police coming and telling you it’s a civil matter, isn’t them saying you are right, it’s that they can’t get involved. It’s easy to take things from people who have little but it doesn’t make it right, it’s just using your privilege.

How am I taking it from them? When I've literally offered to give him back when they have accommodation that allows cats? You obviously think that you are able to cut through the moral quagmire, but I can assure you that it's not so black and white, here in the real world where an animal's life is in danger.

To make matters worse they refuse to meet or speak with me!

Good I'm glad they won't speak to you!

Tell them they owe you £400 and the cat needs continuing medication of £. Or just ignore them back.

They couldn't be arsed to look for the cat when he went missing.

They’ve asked you to give him back and you’ve refused.
He was found by them after weeks of searching but in the meantime you’d changed his chip.
He perked up and the vet said he could go home. You then got bloods done at home and specialist food to the tune of £400 and decided you were the better owner.
Their daughter appears to have lost her school, home, be expecting a new sibling in a new country and presumably has been longing for the day she can have her cat back.

I’m sorry you love it now. I expect they do too. It isn’t yours though.

I can’t believe it took them 5 weeks to find the cat nearby! They can’t have looked very hard. That cat must have been making a lot of noise at first. I’d be keeping permanently for the cats welfare.

I didn't say I owned it, I said I have a duty of care towards it. I gave it back once already!

I want to keep it safe until they are in a better place. What do you genuinely think is best for the cat?

Have you tried telling them that nobody ever really owns a cat?

The cats welfare comes first. End of

I think it’s best for the cat to be with its owners rather than passed from one to the other. Cats like their own patch and entrenching it in yours any longer than necessary is unkind. 12 year old lonely girls often have beautiful gentle relationships with cats that are mutually satisfying. I understand you have bonded with it but it isn’t yours and it has owners who love it. When is the baby due? I’d want it with them and settled as soon as possible if I loved it really.

It's been here since 2020! Before that it was moved all over, missing several times, and initially came to me because the mum's boyfriend didn't want it. How is giving it back, while it's still sick, from my home where it's lived for over half it's life, to a temporary accommodation where it's not permitted, and full of hazards, the right thing to do for the cat at this point in time? Seriously ????

The baby is due in 2 weeks.

Sorry this was to @TomeTome . I think you're being incredibly naive and romanticised about cat ownership.

Could you offer to buy the cat? When everything settles down. For a token amount (and where the payment can we tracked/letter signed to say it's transferred and the passport) what would mean there'd be no question about ownership in the future.