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Original poster

Did I steal their cat? (Sorry long)

284 replies

Babbitybowsters · 25/03/2023 10:09

Apologies for the long post but don't want to dripfeed.

I fostered a cat for 2 years for a woman and two kids, because they didn't have anywhere to live that would accept cats. The woman actually didn't contact me for 1 whole year so I thought he was actually my cat now.

She did however get in touch at Xmas to ask for him back. I didn't want to upset her kids and thought it was the right thing to do so I gave him back in January and we kept in touch.

After two weeks (early Feb) the 12 year old let him out and he ran off and then the family went out for the day. He then went missing for 5 weeks and was found by them emaciated and near death having been trapped in an outdoor store cupboard for that time. During that time I couldn't eat or sleep for worry and did everything I could to get him back. I even begged them for the chip number to update his details as they hadn't done it. And I registered the details in my name as they still don't really have permanent address or reliable phone number (long story).

The day after he was found they took him to the PDSA vet came to see me as I lived next to the PDSA vets and we all went together to see him. The vet asked someone to visit in the morning to move him to another vets. The woman asked me as she lived a 30 min train journey away and didn't want to have to get up so early because she is on her own and heavily pregnant. I agreed and picked him up last Thursday and transported him from the night vet to the day vet. At that point he had a seizure and the vet was suggesting putting him to sleep. I begged him not to. It was agreed that we give him to 5pm that day to make a decision. The woman said she wouldn't come unless there was a definite decision and again asked me to go. To my amazement he had perked up and the vet said I could take him home and, being so in shock, I took him to my flat 2 mins from the vets.

As soon he got there he was purring and going back to all his old spots (even though he could barely walk). It was like he had never left and all his things from the past 2 years are here. He is sleeping on my chest everynight.

Last Friday I asked the woman if they would like to come and visit him and they said they would and then didn't turn up. At that point I decided it would be wrong to move him again, as he is so settled here and I'd miss him so much. I also feel they were a bit irresponsible letting him out so soon etc.

I've now spent £400 at my own vets getting home blood tests etc and getting him special food which I know they can't afford as they are currently using food banks.

I wrote the family a nice letter asking if he could stay with me and saying I felt it would be cruel to unsettle him again. The family have responded saying the 12 year is crying every day and he "needs to come home!". But surely his home is here, where I kept him safe for the last 2 years?

Thanks for reading as I am so very torn, particularly as I don't want to upset a child.

OP posts:
NalafromtheLionKing · 25/03/2023 10:30

Ktime · 25/03/2023 10:24

I agree tell them he died.

If they come for him, tell them they owe you £400, they will disappear.

Is your name on his chip?

This.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 25/03/2023 10:30

Reddickyouless · 25/03/2023 10:15

Tell them he's run away and keep him.normally I'd disagree with keeping someone's pet but they sound like shit owners
Poor old boy

I'd do this

Instagramearworms · 25/03/2023 10:31

Honestly from the thread title I was expecting you were being unreasonable but I really think you aren't.

Honestly if I had a cat who was elderly and I couldnt afford the vets bills and someone was offering to love for the cat, care for it and pay large vets bills I would be so grateful for the cats sake

It sounds like you are the only one trying to do the right thing for the cat, I would say its escaped again and leave it at that.

Ktime · 25/03/2023 10:31

I wouldn’t put anything in writing that the cat is theirs. Call her and tell her the cat is dead.

Viviennemary · 25/03/2023 10:31

In this case I would say yes keep the cat. They shouldnt have got him back in the first place after he stayed with you for 2 years.

IsadoraQuagmire · 25/03/2023 10:33

If they cared about the cat they'd want him to be happy. They sound horrible, and if I were in your position I wouldn't dream of giving him back.

WestendVBroadway · 25/03/2023 10:33

In answer to your question, No! you definitely did NOT steal the cat. Perhaps say the vet recommended he should not be moved againbut they can visit at their own expense. Was the original agreement that you would meet all costs?

Reluctantadult · 25/03/2023 10:34

I don't think I could bring myself to lie and tell them he'd died. I think I'd message them to say you love him and very much want to keep him, but if they insist they want to keep him they need to reimburse you the vets bills. Knowing that's unlikely.

MaryHinges · 25/03/2023 10:34

"The woman actually didn't contact me for 1 whole year so I thought he was actually my cat now"

That's where I stopped reading. Ignorance is not an excuse. If she stopped contacting you, you should have found out why and made reasonable attempts to return it. Not just assumed it is yours to keep. It doesn't work like that.

Throwncrumbs · 25/03/2023 10:34

Thelnebriati · 25/03/2023 10:28

The microchip only shows the registered keeper, not the legal owner of the animal.

The cats not a car ffs!

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 25/03/2023 10:34

What cfers!!
Tell them it died. And where shall you send the vet bill to?

SwedishEdith · 25/03/2023 10:34

The 12 year old needs a guinea pig or something instead.

Please update us if you hear from them again. I'm invested in how cheeky this family is.

Sparklfairy · 25/03/2023 10:35

MaryHinges · 25/03/2023 10:34

"The woman actually didn't contact me for 1 whole year so I thought he was actually my cat now"

That's where I stopped reading. Ignorance is not an excuse. If she stopped contacting you, you should have found out why and made reasonable attempts to return it. Not just assumed it is yours to keep. It doesn't work like that.

Utter nonsense.

WestendVBroadway · 25/03/2023 10:36

MaryHinges · 25/03/2023 10:34

"The woman actually didn't contact me for 1 whole year so I thought he was actually my cat now"

That's where I stopped reading. Ignorance is not an excuse. If she stopped contacting you, you should have found out why and made reasonable attempts to return it. Not just assumed it is yours to keep. It doesn't work like that.

Well can I suggest that you ho back and read the remainder of the post before you make decisions about who is right.

WestendVBroadway · 25/03/2023 10:37

^^ Go back .

Bemyclementine · 25/03/2023 10:37

I'd tell them he's run away again. And that they owe you vets bills plus however much he's cosy you over the years.

Paranoidandroidmarvin · 25/03/2023 10:38

Two things. As he is chipped to u. They wouldn’t be able to do anything for him anyway ( been there done that )

I would say that he has lots of medical problems following on and his medication is say £150 for the next year to keep him alive.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 25/03/2023 10:38

Throwncrumbs · 25/03/2023 10:34

The cats not a car ffs!

Show quote history

But Thelnabriati is correct,it's not proof of ownership.

JaceLancs · 25/03/2023 10:39

If they want the cat back they must reimburse you for the vets bills
if it was my Dcat I would find the money some how

viques · 25/03/2023 10:39

Yes, tell them the poor cat died. If they make a fuss about this send them some clean cat litter* in a little box inscribed with his name and the date of his demise. You could download an illustrated rainbow bridge poem as well. (Include an invoice for the vets bills and the cremation costs.)

*many brands are available, but we currently have a sack of Sanicat which looks remarkable like cremated remains.

Ingrowncrotchhair · 25/03/2023 10:40

Ktime · 25/03/2023 10:28

So the cat is legally yours? I think.

Show quote history

The cat is legally hers - I have some unfortunate experience with this, similar to the op but, in my case, the name on the chip was the other person’s so I had to give the cat back because the legal owner is the one on the chip.

strawberry2017 · 25/03/2023 10:41

They don't care about the cat, the fact they didn't contact you for a year proves that.
Keep the cat. X

crumpet · 25/03/2023 10:41

What will there reaction be if it’s made clear that they will have to reimburse the £400 first?

crumpet · 25/03/2023 10:41

*their

Paranoidandroidmarvin · 25/03/2023 10:41

sorry. Pressed send to quick.

I had some back forth with a cat. Long story won’t bore u. But the vet wouldn’t let me do anything with him as he was still registered to the chip from his previous owner.

so any vet would give him back to u.

I then had a problem like this where someone wanted him back after not treating him well and not feeding him. I told them that he had developed a medical problem and the pills alone and regular appointments came to alot of money each month. They soon backed down. I wouldn’t say he died and that cat could still be seen where u are. ( if that makes sense )