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AIBU?

Neighbour has told our village I am a thief

419 replies

crazyneighbour123 · 24/03/2023 20:59

NC as obviously outing


Last night around 8:30pm a delivery driver asked me to take a parcel for a neighbour a few doors down and said he had knocked my door as my gate was open (all houses on my street have a gate and a pathway to the front door, roughly 20meters). The parcel was 2ft high and 2ft wide and heavy so I managed to push it along my hallway out of the way.

Here is the issue. At 6:50am there was banging and when I say banging I mean banging on my front door. I ran downstairs worried something was wrong and hoping it wouldn’t wake the whole house up.

It was my male neighbour who is in his 40s who didn’t bother to say hello only said where is my parcel. I explained it come last night let me get it. As I was pushing it down the hallway towards the door he said ‘ no need to be so dramatic there’s no need to pretend it’s too heavy that’s why you didn’t bother to bring it over last night, you just could not be bothered’ . I was shocked and just said how he wasn’t in thats why the deliver drive gave me the parcel and it is heavy. He then said he was in but was having his dinner and it was raining so didn’t answer the door and I should have had some respect and done the polite thing and taken the parcel to him. I started laughing as I thought he was joking. He then tried picking it up and realised how heavy it was and how far he had to go with it told me the least I can do is help him carry it back to his house I laughed and said I couldn’t. He then called me a waste of space. I then told him ‘ I hope there’s weights in that box cause you bloody well need them’ and shut the door.

He has now posted on the village Facebook (I know social media is the root of all evil) and has bad mouthed me and called me a thief and a chav and that everyone should be careful around me as I will try and take their deliveries to keep for myself. This is not true and unluckily for him I have this all recorded on the ring doorbell. You can hear us both word for word and see how angry he is in the video. Question is would I be unreasonable to post it onto the village Facebook group or should I just send it privately to the main admin person. My only issue with sending it privately which is the more mature option is the main admin owner walks her dogs with him so not sure if she would fully make the other members of the group aware of what actually happened? I could just try the private route first but it’s making me feel awkward going out today that everyone in the village thinks I’m a thief.

YANBU - post it on the Facebook group so the whole village will know the truth

YABU - send it only to the admin privately and hope she does the right thing

OP posts:
Crancod · 25/03/2023 21:08

Livid on your behalf OP!

HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 25/03/2023 21:08

Sounds like you handled it well, but the admin sounds like a self important busybody too!

changeme4this · 25/03/2023 21:11

The community admin should have taken it down prior to your post unless no one had reported the initial thread...

Im one of 4 admin/mods on our comm page also a small rural area. We get to see how many have read posts and can assure you and anyone else in this position, very few members will read posts in the first 24 hours, by the end of the week it might have reached an audience of 10% of membership numbers. So try not to worry too much there.

As admin on our page, having received your video footage I would know ban him from the group. There should be an anti bullying/shaming rule as part of the group rules and if there isn’t, she needs to amend group rules pretty darn quick after this episode….

changeme4this · 25/03/2023 21:12

Now not know…. 😼

Kit71 · 25/03/2023 21:17

Mamamia32 · 24/03/2023 21:17

I would leave a very short simple comment

I took your parcel because you weren't in and the postman asked me to. In future I will say no if this happens again.

Then leave it, don't reply to any comments. He sounds mentally ill.

This, only escalation will result and any more comment will feed this man’s ego

Kit71 · 25/03/2023 21:22

Well done , sounds like you’ve been understood thankfully .

Howtolikeit · 25/03/2023 21:25

CanIAskAnotherStupidQuestion · 24/03/2023 21:03

This!

I also agree with this!

ScroogeMcDuckling · 25/03/2023 21:53

Good Evening

unless I have missed anything, the lady has asked you to meet tomorrow to iron things out.

no problems - I would go.

I would say, I have the complete footage as well as vocal, I don’t need witnesses about the delivery driver turning up at given time.

my floor need a good scrub after your delivery was taken in.

you’ve woken up me and my household at stupid o clock with accusations about me being a thieving chav etc etc.

you have taken your parcel home, (my sincerest apologies to you that it didn’t give you a hernia as it was so heavy) and then put your accusations about me all over social media.

Clearly, my family are confused, and hurt by your behaviour towards me, and practically a whole day has been trying to sort out and diffuse this nonsense that has come from you.

Im am really hurt, that you hsve publicly called me a thriving chav etc etc, and as I have all documentation regarding the whole incident, I’m sure that you will understand that I need time to find the correct solicitor for this type of case ((it’s not buying a two up/two down) it’s slander) and get his/her opinion about legal retribution - this is a small village, and I really don’t want this nonsense you have brought to my door- but then I don’t want the expression “mud sticks” haunting me either.

I would keep my cool, deep down I would want to cut his nuts off and feed them to the dog, but we live in a civilised society.

I would give him the opportunity to give “but” or “you can understand why I thought this” because do you??

is there a case for slander, only a legal professional will know that, I suspect mouthing off in public calling someone a thief who isn’t is slander!!

Dont post anything on the village social media til you have worked out in your head what to do, as posting on social media could damage a case.

Good Luck and let us know how you get on, but I certainly wouldn’t be hiding from this one.

Iloveacurry · 25/03/2023 21:54

Good for you op. He sounds like a right knob and the admin/dog walking mate knows this as well now.

saraclara · 25/03/2023 21:59

Admin is overstepping at this point. She runs the Facebook page, and that's the limit of her role in the community. She needs to ban him from the group and be done with it.

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 25/03/2023 22:03

saraclara · 25/03/2023 21:59

Admin is overstepping at this point. She runs the Facebook page, and that's the limit of her role in the community. She needs to ban him from the group and be done with it.

This. Who made her the village mediator? Ask her to remove his post with a comment about wild accusations to members of the group.

saraclara · 25/03/2023 22:08

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 25/03/2023 22:03

This. Who made her the village mediator? Ask her to remove his post with a comment about wild accusations to members of the group.

If I'd had a misunderstanding with a neighbour and some busybody FB admin took it on herself to talk to us both to 'resolve' the situation, I'd be livid.

She did the right thing to delete his post and back you up, but she should have banned him and then kept her beak out.

Crazymumx3 · 25/03/2023 23:38

Post it!! For sure. If we have parcels delivered and neighbour takes it , I would be grateful and would always go to retrieve the parcel when i am home. But definitely not at 650 in the morning. You did him a favour and he treated you badlu, Too lazy having dinner to answer his own delivery.... hmm... post it!!! And next time refuse rhe favour

CountessWindyBottom · 26/03/2023 00:00

crazyneighbour123 · 25/03/2023 20:45

The admin woman has private messaged me and asked to meet tomorrow to discuss what happened as crazy neighbour has said there is ‘plenty to iron out, including my language’. I’m assuming this is reference to me saying the word ‘bloody’. I have declined and explained that he was out of order and I won’t be engaging any further as I have to live here and then I privately sent her the video. She has just responded with ‘good on you’ and said she will make it clear to him that it was his actions that we’re not acceptable

He is unhinged. I am hoping he looses interest in me as soon as someone else will surely annoy him soon enough

This is absolutely bonkers! A moderator for a village group page on Facebook wanted to meet with you to ‘iron out’ these issues? Is this for real? It’s like something from the League of Gentlemen!

Your neighbour sounds like an absolute twat. Just disengage. If your community is that small then everyone else will know he’s a twat too.

Marmalade43 · 26/03/2023 02:06

I’d post the video of him being unreasonable.
he’s happy to lie to make you look bad, you should be happy to post facts, with evidence to clear your name.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 26/03/2023 02:21

I think you need to alert the police and show them the videos, just to have a record in case of future issues.

T1Dmama · 26/03/2023 02:42

yes he should be banned.
Also I think for such local groups post approval should be turned on, because things get out of hand very quickly in a small village.

Sunflowerinthewind · 26/03/2023 03:57

Brilliant

SaponificationQueen · 26/03/2023 04:39

Post the video. I wouldn’t write anything else. Just put the video as the reply. :-) What a jerk.

Skodacool · 26/03/2023 07:36

TruJay · 24/03/2023 21:02

You could comment and ask if he’d like to retract his untruthful slanderous comment or he’d like you to post your ring camera video for people to see what actually happened?

This

Robin233 · 26/03/2023 07:39

Great update op
Best result
I haven't read the ft but have read all op's post.

MaryHinges · 26/03/2023 07:41

Is anyone actually reading the thread before replying? She already posted the footage. It's already dealt with. The end.

tired100 · 26/03/2023 08:01

FB the public group message that you have both the delivery and his early morning reaction on camera. Ask if anyone would like to see? Thank him for bringing this to the group’s attention and for allowing you to state your case with evidence. Thank him again for the opportunity. End with a smile emoji. A heart might be too passive aggressive but - …

saraclara · 26/03/2023 08:04

This thread must hold the record for the number of posters who haven't read the thread.

I think that cancel the cheque can now be formally retired, to be replaced with 'post the video''

saraclara · 26/03/2023 08:05

MaryHinges · 26/03/2023 07:41

Is anyone actually reading the thread before replying? She already posted the footage. It's already dealt with. The end.

Nope. No-one is. It's bonkers.

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