To be fucked off that DH ate my leftovers

[CatLoaf]

I had an amazing dinner last night, steak platter with friends. It came with bubble and squeak, fab chips...piles of it, and we couldn't finish it. I checked with the others if they were OK with me taking the leftovers home, and was so so looking forward to them tonight. DH (a 'flexitarian' who tries not to eat meat), just told me he ate it for lunch.

I am so so pissed off, and I KNOW I should have expressly told him not to eat it if that's what I wanted. But I'm 6 months pregnant, hormonal, and when he told me I just saw red. Totally overreacted and told him I was really pissed off with him. Then went into our bedroom and had a scream into a pillow. I know, pathetic. Then I told him he could sort his own dinner out.

Now he's taken his coat and backpack and gone out, saying he can't stay here atm. It's completely blown up and I feel horrible. Currently sitting in the dark in DD's room. I hate this

If you had eaten his food, and he had started to rage, to the extent he was screaming into his pillow, would that be acceptable? Nope, you would have everyone on here telling you to LTB as he has anger issues. Pregnancy isn’t an excuse to behave like that

It wasn't his food. He would remember putting it in there if it was his. Who buys the fridge stock gets to be Emperor of the Comestibles. He deserves every scrap of your wrath.

YANBU, it wasn’t a meal you both shared and there were some random bits left for grazing.

this was your food, he absolutely should have asked. It would have been manners just to ask “you planning on eating the leftovers or can I?”.

he’s absolutely in the wrong.

The only leftovers in the fridge that could be called fair game would be albino venison.

I think he was thoughtless and then mean. Sure, you probably overreacted. But you were upset. He could have made it right but he decided to take his back pack and strop off.

Agree with this

What a greedy pig. This is NOT normal, DH would always ask if restaurant leftovers are fair game, as would I.

Do not cook for him.

Overreaction? Yes. But it's understandable that you'd be annoyed. He must have known that he should have asked, since it was leftovers from your meal out. He just didn't want to give you the chance to deny him, or at least that's my uncharitable interpretation of events. He was a coward to just slink off without attempting to put things right (by apologising and offering to get you something nice as a replacement).

Make no mistake, he will have had no doubt that those leftovers were for your dinner. He's had a try, tasted how nice it was and selfishly scoffed the lot. His behaviour afterwards - not apologising and storming off - make him sound an insufferable twat. He owes you an apology.

Yes you over reacted but you are pregnant and he ate your food! I am 8 months pregnant and got irate at my DH today because he drank my last Appletizer. Not proud of it and it was a massive overreaction but he went out and got me more and we are friends again.

Not the point of the thread but pregnancy is rubbish 😂

Eggs, bread etc in the fridge are fair game. Surely not someone's dinner-out leftovers? I mean at least ask first?

I suppose it depends on what the usual rules are in your house - do you make a general habit of eating each others leftovers without an issue? If so, then I suppose it was more of an unfortunate event than anything else, although your pregnancy does exacerbate it a bit.

But then he became completely U by childishly storming out of the house, tbh.

Hmmm so I'm definitely in the minority here but if one of us goes out to. Fancy dinner and brings home leftovers it's a bit of an unwritten rule that we've bought them home for the other person to enjoy!!

So in this scenario I'd 'expect' DH to have tucked in or vice versa

I would be annoyed at this, but having a massive foot stamping tantrum was not at all a mature response. No wonder he has had to go out for a breather.

It's in the fridge because food needs to go in the fridge. That doesn't mean it instantly becomes fair game.

Jesus even my kids know to ask each other before snaffling each others stuff.

It's really unkind of him to not even ask. Going off in a huff is probably because he's dropped a clanger and is styling it out.

This

I would never ever ever eat someone's leftovers, I don't even eat more than my half of the naan or spring rolls. Yanbu and he's a dickhead!

I love that her tantrum is defined as a tantrum but you’ve tried to play his tantrum as taking the high road.

@CatLoaf I’d just like to stand in solidarity with you and your missing leftovers. So frustrating.

Came on to rant about DH who has just had a wobbler because I complained he’d taken my favourite pen without asking and has broken it….. it isn’t really about the pen; it’s about the respect for me and my things, my feelings/wants/needs (obviously more going on!!) I had been looking for it the last week.

He has buggered off to buy a new pen. Which is not really the point. And I think he thinks I’m totally unreasonable. Because he is taking the whole situation at face value.

Thank you for validating my feelings through feeling similarly. I hope he takes you out for dinner to apologise x

I know you’re pregnant, but that’s not an excuse to be so horrible to anyone you love. If someone accidentally eats your lunch out of the work fridge- do you see red, and go have a scream? No. And it’s sad (you say you are sitting in DDs room and this is your second child) so your DD has witnessed this too? You screaming and her dad now leaving the house? How awful for your child.

How is eating someone else’s food an accident?

He didn't eat it by accident 😆😆😆

If someone accidentally eats your lunch out of the work fridge- do you see red, and go have a scream? No.

HTF does someone 'accidently' eat someone else's work lunch?!

They’re a family. Generally food isn’t designated as an individuals property in functional families. I didn’t recognise the dysfunction of being married, with one DC and another on the way of having his and hers food.

If it’s not labelled. One Diet Coke looks exactly like another Diet Coke.

Wow. Imagine being so unbelievably arrogant that you think it’s dysfunctional for anyone to have different expectations from you. Most people don’t actually think that anything in a shared home immediately becomes available to anyone living there. If anything, I think your set up is dysfunctional. Who to you think made you Queen of Functionality?

If they look identical, how does anyone know if they've got the right/wrong one?!😂